DIA Internal Report: Missing Agent

Back from unplugging and MIA AGENT SPOTTED by Voyd on 2013-09-03 16:23:00 UTC Reply

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! MIA PPC AGENT "LABURNUM" SPOTTED ON TV TROPES! LAST KNOWN ACTIVITY: EDITING SCP FOUNDATION! YELLING!

Now that that's out of the way, hey all, I'm back. I was disconnected from the Internet for a while because of various and sundry reasons, all personal.

DIA Internal Report: Missing Agent by Huinesoron on 2013-09-04 15:46:00 UTC Reply

Dear all,

Following the recent disappearence of former DOGA Agent Selene [...] Windflower from her padded room in FicPsych, we have naturally been keeping an eye out for her across the multiverse. Recently, one of DOGA's other agents claimed to have encountered her on a mission:

"I almost tripped over her in the woods. She didn't look happy to see me. I mean, really unhappy - glowing red eyes and everything."

When questioned further as to how he was able to identify former agent Selene, the agent responded:

"Well, I recognised her, you know? Like you do with people you... recognise?"

This agent's lack of cooperation has been noted.

To aid in identification of this potentially distressed, possibly dangerous escapee, we have compiled an artist's impression from our informant's description.

~Agent Irvine

Irvine,

You're just embarassing yourself further. Agent Huinesoron was drunk and spouting nonsense. Leave the report writing to me in future.

-Black

PS: And learn to draw.

Re: DIA Internal Report: Missing Agent by Outhra on 2013-09-05 22:27:00 UTC Reply

Oh no! Selene Windflower's insanity has advanced to such a state that her torso has been absorbed into her head! I didn't even know that was possible! I'm glad that the sketch artist used such a simplified style, since either her limbs have migrated to the top of her head or her hair has grown to enormous lengths and migrated around the front of her face to rearrange itself into a spiky fan-like structure, either of which would be horrible to look at, but to different extents and for different reasons.

Fortunately, she can't have gotten far. Giant heads like that can normally only propel themselves by hopping around comically, which has an incredibly slow movement rate. Unless she's learned to levitate or she's somehow gotten a hold of one of M.O.D.O.K.'s spare pod-suit transport things, we should be perfectly safe. Perfectly safe from the psychopathic Pyro who may still have the ability to absorb living matter into her giant horrifying cranial mass.
...
I'm going to check and make sure all of those spare pod-suits are still where they were a few days ago.

Another return! Yay! by Karen DuLay on 2013-09-03 16:48:00 UTC Reply

Isn't Internet a lovely thing to have?