Overall, I think this is a fascinating story starter. The dialogue is smooth and clever, and I like the descriptions of your characters. I did find a few nitpicky grammar/formatting slipups, which I've included below.

Other than that, I kind of got the feeling from the writing style that you were trying very hard to write in an imperious, intelligent voice. It's a style I've noticed crops up a lot in the PPC, and in some cases not one I'm particularly fond of. Frankly, it would be more entertaining with shorter sentences and a more casual tone. You're telling a story, not trying to impress a law professor. Ease up a little!
Okay, here goes...

"Inside a large flying object miles above a larger planetary object, a conversation was going on about a population of recently developed apes." This sentence is a little clumsy. I honestly don't even think you need it at all. The next sentence is a perfectly adequate opening line, and inspires more curiosity from the reader.

"...with one perched on a large block, and the other lay curled in a nest of tentacles." Should be "...and the other lying..."

Start a new paragraph each time there's dialogue.

" "But thats' jus it hon'rable..." Should be "But that's jus' it, hon'rable..."

"The pillbug waited for the statement to sink in before continuing. "I think that these apes are a menace to galactic economy. If they can replicate our technology, then surely they can find cheap alternatives that will put entire planets out of a job." The nest of tentacles paled as it..." No new paragraph before the first sentence. Paragraph break after "job."

"...we can fine' out da apes secret..." Should be "...we can fin' out da apes' secret..."

"Its last thoughts would roughly translate to: Not the greys!" Italicize the thought.

"Meanwhile.." Three periods, not two. Always three.

"Far away from the planet that would later be known as Earth, a multi-fanged smile spread across the face of a reptilian humanoid that had been listening in on the conversation about the fate of the humanity's precursors." This is an unweildy sentence, and it would read better broken up and dumbed down a bit. Maybe you could sub out somethin along the lines of: "Far away from the planet that would later be known as Earth, a reptilian humanoid smiled slowly, exposing countless razor-sharp fangs. It had overheard everything."

I'm sorry if anything I've said seems inflammatory or insulting, particularly the bit on tone. I hope my feedback is helpful!

-- Len

Ponystar has already done a good job of covering the SPG glitches in your story, so I'll not belabour the point, except for one thing:

It really is important to break up your paragraphs. Breaking for each new speaker is absolutely necessary, but you can also break for a significant change in the focus of the action.

But like I say, I won't dwell on that. Instead I'd like to look at the story itself.

-The idea that 'humans are awesome because they advance their technology really quickly' has been done so much, it's pretty much a cliche by now. I admit I've not seen it with reference to Homo habilis before, but it is still a very common idea.

-Your aliens... aren't very alien. Okay, their appearance isn't bad, but they talk in sound, can communicate with each other despite being from wildly different evolutionary backgrounds, blush when they get embarassed, and one of them has a... well, whatever accent that's meant to be. I'm no good at back-translating accents. They use the term 'apes', when they shouldn't really care enough to have given them a name. Oh, and they apparently have an economy almost identical to ours...

-The idea of 'if they can replicate our stuff, they can come up with cheaper versions!' is kind of... weird. Surely if that's the case, so can the planets which would otherwise be out of work? And surely, you know, the idea of 'make cheaper things' has been tossed about before in the last seven billion years? It happens on Earth - the usual response is either to employ the people who make them cheaper, or to somehow drive them out of the market.

-Related, the idea that a single planet could produce enough to drive multiple others entirely out of business is... well, it would require a pretty weird economic system in the other planets. Some sort of bilennia-old agreement that each world would make one product in strictly limited quantities, for example.

-I do like the idea of collecting brain scans - but I'm not sure it would actually save the apes, since they can still be wiped out after the scans are complete.

-'Xrvillian' is an... interesting word. The 'xr' sounds suitably insectoid (since it's being spoken by one, it has to be pronouncible by it), but the 'll' doesn't. Without any linguistic data from the tentacle creature I have little to go on, but I'd imagine that the tentacle's name for its species would be 'Survillian', while the pillbug would call it 'Xrvikkian'.

-I don't know what you're doing with 'Not the greys!'. No, not the greys - you've just been teleported into space.

-That's actually really bad health and safety right there. Seriously - what sort of spaceship is set up so that it's possible to teleport people from the bridge into deep space with no safeguards? Not a very good one, I think. How did these people survive seven billion years?

-Your 'reptilian humanoid' is very, very cliche. Seriously - the universe seems to be entirely populated by Cat People, Lizard People, and Tentacle Monsters. Why not shake things up a bit by having a 'reptillian xrvilloid' - a reptile which outwardly resembles a xrvillian?

-No creature except humans (and maybe dogs) smiles. Baring your teeth is not an expression of pleasure.

-And... you call this a short story. It isn't. It doesn't have an ending. Your 'meanwhile' doesn't come out of what went before - it comes out of nowhere, and doesn't explain anything. I have no idea where the reptiles are going, or why. It could be an ending, if you worked it a bit. An idea/suggestion:

After the xrvillian is thrown away, stay with the pillbug a little. Have it think about how much it will make out of these apes, how useful it is to have such an intelligent xrvillian around - this is a good chance to throw a bit more alienness in, by having it decide it will need to retrieve the body to take a cutting for the next iteration or somesuch. Have it make some alien-seeming gesture 'gleefully', to rub in the fact that it's an unscrupulous critter out for profit at the cost of whatever it takes.

Then cut to the reptiles - and make it clear that they're going to take the pillbug's ship, and that the end result of his scheme will be that he himself is thrown into space while his ill-gotten gains go to the pirates. Don't actually show us that happening - it's redundant - but tell us that's the plan. That would give him his comeuppance and close off the story.

Sorry if this all sounds a bit rushed - it is, I don't have internet access for long. But concrit you asked for, and concrit I have tried to give.

hS

There are a few things that don't scan right to me, and how I'd change them. I'm not 100% sure which are actually grammatical errors and which are just me being dumb, but I'll point them out in an overly large and overly paragraph-saturated textdump.

Line 2-3: "It was not a conversation in a sense you or I would comprehend, nor was it in our range of hearing" -> "It was not a conversation of a sort that you or I could comprehend, nor was it within our range of hearing"

Line 4: "[...]room, with one perched on a large block, and the other curled in a nest of tentacles." "[...]room. One was perched on a large block, and the other lay curled up in a nest of tentacles."

Line 5: "[...]perched on a block[...]" -> "[...]perched on the block[...]"

Just a note, I believe you're supposed to have a new paragraph every time a new being speaks. You also generally start a new paragraph the next time you refer to a being other than the speaker.

Line 9: "But thats' jus it hon'rable Cark!" -> "But that's jus' it, hon'rable Cark!"

Line 10: "It was[...]" There's a double space here.

Paragraph 2

Line 1: "statment" -> "statement"
Line 1: "Ape" -> "Apes"

Line 4: "implacations" -> "implications"
Line 4: "[...]to the species of apes that had[...]" -> "[...]to the species of apes which had[...]"

Line 7: "fine'" -> "fin'"/"fine"

Line 8: "apes" -> "apes'"
Line 8: "the" -> "da"

Line 10: "pillbugs" -> "pillbug's"
Line 10-11: "somehow managed" -> "somehow it managed"

Line 13: "to" -> "too"
Line 13: "the tentacles" -> "the mass of tentacles"

Paragraph 4

"the humanities precursors" -> "humanity's precursors"