Subject: Foreshadowing.... (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2015-08-13 20:32:00 UTC
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New mission! by
on 2015-08-13 18:47:00 UTC
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Rina and Zeb get a new mission, but the Sue's not the only one whose glitter levels are spiking...
(Doctor Who) -
Good work! by
on 2015-08-13 20:20:00 UTC
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...Is it bad that Rina's starting to scare me a little now? Cause she is. I hope she gets some help soon. (The joke about Rina's guinea pig was great, by the way, well done.)
Some things I noticed:
“...hiding from the Silence on the streets of New York.” Rina recited.
That period after "New York" should be a comma.
“No, seriously, who the flying ...nuggets is Victoria?”
According to Wikipedia, Victoria (Waterfield) was a companion during the Second Doctor era. She first appears in "The Evil of the Daleks," where her scientist dad's time travel experiments attracted Dalek notice. What I don't understand is how a Suethor knows about Susan (who actually was the Doctor's granddaughter) but not about any other Classic Who companions. *shrugs*
His partner’s behavior was just going to have to wait.
Abrupt ending is abrupt. I assume there's a part two forthcoming? -
Thank you! by
on 2015-08-13 20:25:00 UTC
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1) That was reciting the badfic, and it ended on a period. Thus the full stop.
2) I knew that, but the fact that the Doctor was referring to her as his granddaughter made me 'wat'. I'll probably change that to make it clearer.
3) Part two? Well, if you count Little Miss Mary in five days, then yes. There is a part two. -
On point one... by
on 2015-08-13 20:40:00 UTC
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It's acceptable to change periods to commas and vice-versa for the sake of grammar, at least in the Chicago style. Alternatively, you could set the quote in normal-weight font and surround it with single quotes, then place the comma outside the single quotes but still within the double-quotes for Rina's speech.
~Neshomeh -
Took option two. Thanks. (nm) by
on 2015-08-13 20:49:00 UTC
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You still don't need the period, though. by
on 2015-08-13 20:53:00 UTC
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Sorry, that wasn't clear.
Don't need the bolding, either—unless it was bolded in the source, I guess.
~Neshomeh -
Well done! by
on 2015-08-13 19:46:00 UTC
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Can't wait to read more, though. Rina is being scary. Very, very scary.
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Oh dear, oh dear. (Spoilers!) by
on 2015-08-13 19:28:00 UTC
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Rina... dood... take a chill pill. In fact, take ten of them. o.o
Rina: I WOULD, but I'm FRELLING ALLERGIC, argleblargle@#$%!@#$%
Oh... okay... right... sorry. I'll just. Um. >.> *sidles away*
For what it's worth, I don't think she's going particularly glittery here. The TARDIS-flying is perfectly well justified, IMO. As for the premature killing, that's less glittery, more flamethrower-y.
... Five days until LMM, eh?
~Neshomeh -
Five more days. by
on 2015-08-13 20:29:00 UTC
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And yeah, Rina's one ridiculously bad badfic away from losing it...
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Foreshadowing.... (nm) by
on 2015-08-13 20:32:00 UTC
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Okay then... Cipher Reacts? :) by
on 2015-08-13 19:20:00 UTC
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"Zeb beamed. “See? I’m learning.”"
Good boy, Zebbie! Have a poffin! :3
"Rina eyeballed Zeb for a moment. “You humans?” she said finally."
Rina's starting to experience Time Lord superiority? 0.0
And of course grandchildren. Susan and Victoria.
Imsorrywhatnow!? o.o
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Yaaay~ TARDIS helping! ^^
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Rina did it! Rina did it! Foreshadowing the Aviator!
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Imsorrywhatnow!? o.o A Gatekeeper!?
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Rina... what are you doing...
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Rina... STAHP!
Aaaaand BOOM goes the dynamite! She's slowly loosing it! Major cuckoo clock! :D