Subject: First Mission!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-07-19 03:14:00 UTC
Agents Michael and Mia make their debut and take down my own Sue, Annelle, in "Unacceptable Behavior."
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First Mission! by
on 2015-07-19 03:14:00 UTC
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Some thoughts by
on 2015-07-19 04:31:00 UTC
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I liked it, but it looks like your beta missed a few points:
- It took a moment for Michael to realize what she met — should be "meant".
- Mia was already at the console, looking at the words. — So why is it Michael who tells her the Sue is a Mermaid, not the other way round?
- That’s why I’m in the DF, where Sues come every day and I assassinate them for a living! — The DMS might have something to say anout that.
(I was also worried when you had Mia killed the Colonel like that, but then it turned out that's what I was supposed to feel all along!)
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Thanks! by
on 2015-07-19 07:04:00 UTC
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I'm really glad you liked it! It's a bit late where I am, though, so I'll see to your points in the morning, and thanks again for them! Yay for concrit!
(Yep, definitely the feeling I was trying to incite. I'm quite happy that it worked!) -
It might just be me... by
on 2015-07-19 17:54:00 UTC
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But I cannot find your mission anywhere but here; you need to post them in a couple other places, too.
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I know. by
on 2015-07-19 19:01:00 UTC
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I had some trouble getting things on the wiki, and I've already contacted Nesh about it. Thank you for checking, though!
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... I should maybe check my e-mail, huh? by
on 2015-07-19 20:55:00 UTC
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I'm assuming you e-mailed me, since there's nothing new on my Talk page. I've kinda been avoiding my inbox for the past, uh, week? I should stop. >.>
Apologies to anyone else who's been trying to get in touch with me, too.
~Neshomeh, who sometimes just can't people. -
Yep, I emailed you. by
on 2015-07-19 21:01:00 UTC
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Heh, I can understand not being able to people. Should I try the Talk page from now on?
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Nah, it's fine. by
on 2015-07-19 21:14:00 UTC
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Mostly I'm pretty good about keeping an eye on it. I just let it slide this week because my schedule wasn't very conducive to answering stuff anyway.
~Neshomeh