Subject: Another take on #1.
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Posted on: 2015-06-13 07:23:00 UTC

"I'm still confused by this new fanfic script," said Voldemort, flipping through the pages. "'The four and the feared and the loved will rise'? How do we both rise?"

"Right," said Harry. "And who are the four? The Marauders are mostly dead, and they were really more of a five."

A massive portal opened and a U.S. destroyer sailed into the hallway. "I believe destroyers were called for?" asked a soldier on board.

"Certainly not," explained Voldemort, "it specifically says no cannons."

The soldier frowned. "All right. I'll try for some submarines, then."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Ron, bash him."

Ron Weasley leaped on board the ship and began pounding the soldier.

"Ah," said Voldemort. "I do love a good Ron bashing."

—doctorlit was at the U.S.S. Arizona memorial today; does it show?

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