Subject: *Sigh* Why me again?
Author:
Posted on: 2015-06-12 09:44:00 UTC
Are you leaving these Easter eggs intentionally because you realized that I may not comment if I don’t find at least one? And everybody else ignores them, because they know that they are for me? Is this a conspiracy?
The Sue begged for him to take him along, and after only minimal argument, he agreed.
You probably meant "to take her along".
She already was, biting back a screech of indignation when the canons started asking the Sue if they could tell them about the future in store for them.
Don’t we know the Sue’s gender? You probably meant "if she could tell".
Also, I had a weird experience with this sentence:
Rina pressed her face into the snow as a wave of out-of-whack time sense-induced nausea hit her.
The apparent necessity to emphasize the time sense induced nausea’s sense-induced nature by connecting these two words with a hyphen forced me to think about it and to look back to remember what sense we are talking about. Apparently it is the time-sense that is out of whack – no, wait, is it the out-of-whack time that – ah, what did it do again?
It is impossible to forget what I read and do a real comparison getting the same information for the first time from another version of this sentence, but I feel like "time sense induced nausea" wouldn’t have made me trip and stall like this. Of course this may be a not-being-a-native-reader thing, and other readers may see it differently.
Huh, a lot of words for such a tiny thing like a hyphen.
HG