Subject: Nice! ^^
Author:
Posted on: 2015-06-10 01:47:00 UTC
That pun is terrible, which means of course that you two win everything. XD
There's something a bit wrong with the formatting (it's roughly 7/8ths through the mission): lines are overlapping. I can read them, but it's just a weird glitch-type thing. :/
That's all, though! ^^
Of Stus Gone By
Fic: Midnight Green
Continuum: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Agents: Valon Vance, Kala Jeng, Rina Dives, Zeb
Target: Eponymous (ha) character
It looks like the height of the lines is lower than the characters’ height, and it starts with this quote:
Twilight made an observation. “I'm noticing a pattern here. There seem to be different numbers of pictures for each of us. Who has the least?”
The next lines of the mission are still okay, but then the badfic’s formatting spills over into the mission, beginning with:
“That’s a horrible excuse, you’d have to be stupid or drunk to believe that,” Rina hissed. “And Valon, your Stu is creeping me out.”
(I may have seen something similar in other GDocs, but didn’t pay attention then. I have no idea whether this kind of glitch is visible before you set the GDoc to "published" or how to avoid or fix it.)
No other nitpicks, and congrats for doing a good job there.
HG
That's, what, twice now the Great and Powerful HG hasn't had any nitpicks? Looks like the DIC is going to need to find a new flash patch symbol!
If it bothers you too much, you can remove the "/pub" from the end of the url and see it in the Word format. I don't know what causes it; I was going to suggest it was caused by changing the font or something, but the settings seem the same between this mission and one of my own that doesn't have the glitch. Sorry I don't have any suggestions to fix it.
The mission itself was really good! I've got to say, I admire those with the nerve to spork their own bad writing. I can't think of my own past badfics without cringing, so I don't think I'd be able to mission them any time soon.
I loved the part at the end where you turned the guy's shack into a clubhouse for the minis XD
RC #227:
"Well," said Falchion as he read the mission report, "it was about time somebody else in our department killed a badfic of their own creation."
"To be quite honest, I will have to say 'au contraire' to the notion that you were the one who wrote my homefic," Ripper replied. "I was angry at you back then because I thought you were the Stu, not the writer."
"All the same, Terrordactyl was a self-insert. Isn't that the same thing? I mean, Midnight Green was one too as far as Valon is concerned."
"...Huh. Good point."
"At any rate, I have to give it to Valon - he handled things a lot better than we did. I don't think Rosie's going to forget being sent to Medical for heart failure anytime soon!"
Ripper blinked in surprise. "Heart failure?"
"Did I tell you that? I think I did. Did I?"
"...I don't remember, honestly. I wasn't there, after all. Must've been what happened to that one antagonistic replacement, right?"
Falchion sighed and shook his head. "Apparently."
It was then that Ripper remembered something Falchion had said just now. "Wait, Midnight Green? Isn't that a Suvian name in of itself?"
"Not in the context of My Little Pony. Especially the latest Friendship is Magic generation."
"You have a little pony?"
Falchion stared at him, open-beaked, and then facewinged in silent laughter. "Oh, Ripper... You really do need to get out more."
**********
Fantastic work, all in all! There really should've been more horse puns from everybody, honestly, but I'll live. Like I said, the only thing I'm less than happy about is that Midnight Green didn't live and atone for his sins, because I was really hoping you'd recruit the guy and have an ex-Stu agent for once, but I'll let that slide because you guys explained your reasoning to me yesterday. And I can understand your loss of interest in this show - it happened to me too after Season 3, albeit for different reasons, though I do have plans to catch up on the rest of the episodes once I get a job and such.
Oh, and regarding "Raise This Barn": Whenever I hear that song (which is awesome btw), my walnut-sized brain always brings up the memetic Mondegreen of "Racist Barn". Mental note, take advantage of this in my next mission with Rayner...
You do realize you don't decide who we recruit, or don't recruit? I'm terribly sorry if we disappointed you, but you'll just have to deal with it. MG was unsalvageable, and even if he was, there's no guarantee he would have been recruited, let alone used. Not everybody goes around recruiting every last badfic character they see, after all.
That'd be Active Recruitment, under the auspices of the DIA and run by Mansfield, of whom little is known. One thing that's certain, however, is that he ain't written by you, nor is he you. I think you're being incredibly offensive to Voyd to be surprised he didn't do that - not only, as he was at pains to point out, is he not a brony any more (so what he'd be doing with a pony agent is anyone's guess), he also knows the character a hell of a lot better than you do. I'll trust his judgement of his characters over yours, ta.
I was acting on old, outdated assertions, and anyway, they already told me during the beta review process. I intended to say that whether or not Midnight Green could be recruited was their decision, and I do not mean to contest that in any way.
...I should have worded it better, though. Sorry to you both! :(
You may recall that I was also part of that beta process, so I'm well aware of both parties thoughts on the matter. And yours. I don't think you're contesting it, you're not that dumb; I think you're having a bit of a paddy because they didn't do exactly what you would have done, and you're having difficulty wrapping your head around it.
Skarmory apologized. There was no need to keep laying into him. You are the one being incredibly rude, now.
-Phobos
It's a division of Personnel, not DIA. Source, see fourth paragraph.
I got a really nice sense of both your characters, and I found the whole thing quite good!
That pun is terrible, which means of course that you two win everything. XD
There's something a bit wrong with the formatting (it's roughly 7/8ths through the mission): lines are overlapping. I can read them, but it's just a weird glitch-type thing. :/
That's all, though! ^^
Things that stand out so far? The way it being Valon's old badfic is handled (very satisfying, somehow), Zeb saying that Valon and Kala smell like Rina around the Librarian (best bit of teasing yet, I think), and, most especially, Valon trying to figure out unicorn magic. That was just fantastic, that whole scene.
~DF