Subject: Re: social anxiety
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Posted on: 2015-06-02 03:49:00 UTC

First off, I'm not officially diagnosed, and I know my "level" of social anxiety isn't as bad as some people have, since I'm still capable of working around people and having conversations. I just want to share my experience in case it's valuable to you.

So basically, my anxiety reaches it's true worst on work days that are so busy that I'm having to interact with people constantly, with no down time between zoo guests, and hence, no chance to cool down from acting like a regular human. Since my normal baseline is to retreat into my thoughts, the days where I'm forced to keep my attention directed outwards towards people make me start to actually feel like I'm losing my sense of self. Eventually, I get desperate to escape from the people around me, but can't do so in the middle of a work shift. That's when I start to feel hopeless. My entire body starts to go numb, I get dizzy and start hyperventilating, and I have difficulty keeping my balance and controlling my hands. I can't get my body back to normal again until I'm alone and feel safe.

One weird caveat is that if people are making me angry, then I don't reach the point of panic attack. Not really sure why; maybe just because anger hormones are energizing, and keep me from getting that hopeless feeling?

Again, I don't know if this is really useful for you, as I don't know how typical my form of anxiety is, but that's how it is for me.

—doctorlit, realizing he pretty much just admitted to the whole Board that he's actually terrible at his job

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