...but don't let that affect what you do here. :) Here! Have a lifetime supply of your favorite candy!

Here's your starter Pokémon!

Iiiiiiit's Spewpa!

And your starting item is:

Hopoo Feather from Risk Of Rain!

Now, the Hopoo Feather grants the user Flying-type STAB and immunity to Ground-type attacks, but none of the weaknesses the Flying type. It also increases the damage of Flying-type moves by 33% if the user already has a Flying typing, so keep it around if you wanna use it for a Vivillon. =]

Here's a bucket of movie-theater popcorn to eat while you read the Original Series! :D

Welcome to the board and here is a Plue Light Pen.

Awww, you don't like My Immortal? It's pretty much my favourite badfic ever - always good for a laugh.
Oh, right, gifts. Here, have a towel with the DMS logo emblazoned on it. And don't lose it - you'll need it.

Have a shovel enchanted to unearth Gyroids!

As your gift have this replica of the One Ring that does... something. Not sure what, but has an effect that haven't able to figure out despite repeated tests.

I can't offer you much in the way of newbie gifts (my CWACOM minis are MINE, dammit!), but I have *Optional!Hugs* if you want them. :)
Hope you enjoy yourself here!
/Has a Tumblr, and is no stranger to making sense of incoherence/

Here, have this flaming electric guitar. And I completely agree, My Immortal is likely the third-worst thing I've ever read. I thought it was bad in a hilarious way, but understanding incoherent things well likely only makes it more NSFB.

I'm also pretty much a newbie. Here, have a new bee! Just hatched.

Have one of my own shed feathers! Careful, it's a bit sharp...

Have some Swiss Chocolate and a bottle of Bleepka. You're going to need them really soon.

Have a Generic Newbie gift! Give it a description and it can be whatever you like!

Here, have this cup of confused Lapsang Souchong tea - it's not quite certain whether it smells like a campfire or not, so please be gentle with it, OK?

I wasn't logged in for some reason when I posted that, and thank you guys for the gifts. I'm sure they'll be put to great use.

Hey there, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this whistling llama! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

Care to tell us a little about yourself? Fandoms, perhaps? I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd myself, so if you ever need an obscure fact checked, I'm your girl!

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to point you in the direction of the Original Series and the Constitution, since those are the only required reading around here, but I'll also point you towards Neshomeh's spin-offs because they're Just That Good. ;)

Hope you like it here!

Welcome fellow newbie to the land of PPC. I have no idea what's going on but I hope you'll make sense of it.
Take this pile of dirt I found as your gift. It's enchanted with fire so.... Who even enchanted dirt? Eh. Enjoy the dirt.