Subject: *puts on hat*
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-28 20:09:00 UTC

I'm going to go ahead and say it upfront, you look good in everything but one area: Writing Ability (Creative). Take a look at this passage:

Nine was left to clean up his partner’s mess. AGAIN. And that Witness lady’s mess… “Oh, crap. Things are on fire. Why do these things always happen to me?” he said, to nobody in particular. He picked up the fire extinguisher, and used it. Unfortunately, he had it facing the wrong way. “No, that is not the right direction,” he said, as he turned it the other way around. He put out the fire. “There we go.”

The prose is... well, beige at best. We don't get any description, and it feels like you're trying to force the humor. What's your agent thinking? Why doesn't he react to (supposedly) getting covered in foam? There's just... No life to your stories.

Try being a bit more descriptive with what your characters are doing, and get inside their heads. Show, don't tell, you know?

Try cleaning up your writing and come back, but for now, I'm going to have to say Permission Denied.

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