Subject: Just saying, Lalla Ward would make the best PM. (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-08 05:30:00 UTC
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It's the UK General Election today... by
on 2015-05-07 09:26:00 UTC
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... so let's see what the major parties have to say for themselves.
(Arbitrarily listed in order of their popularity on the last poll in my constituency)
The Conservative Party
"Sell everything! We've already sold the Royal Mail and the National Health Service... can we sell some more schools to corporations next? Ooh! Could we sell workers to their employers?" - David Cameron, in a policy planning meeting.
The Labour Party
"What if, right, you'll like this, what if we take all the crazy that the other parties are spewing, water it down slightly, and make that our ideology? Eh? Eh? Whaddaya think?" - Ed Milliband, on the phone to Ed Balls.
The UK Independence Party
"If UKIP is elected, taking the UK out of Europe will only be the first step. By the end of my term, I plan for the British race to stand tall and proud in its new home: the planet Venus." - Nigel Farage, campaign speech.
The Liberal Democrats
"But I don't understand why we're doing so badly in the polls! All we did was ally with our ideological enemies, spit all over our voters, and shoot ourselves in the literal foot with an actual gun! It's just not fair!" - Nick Clegg, campaign speech.
The Green Party
"What about... could we stand trees as candidates? That would make a statement, wouldn't it? Just think: 'VOTE... TREES'. How about it?" - Natalie Bennett, campaign planning meeting.
Scottish National Party
"So today we, the people of Scotland, want to send a message to the rest of Britain: independence for Scotland! To hell wi' the rest of you!" - Nicola Sturgeon, campaign speech.
(Plaid Cymru (the Welsh national party) and the Northern Irish parties are not included in this discussion. They'll probably object to that, to which I say: ought to be more interesting, then, didn't you? Ha!)
(Can you tell I'm not terribly impressed with the choices this time around? Also, no, sadly the SNP aren't standing candidates in England.)
Right now, the polls are close enough that it looks like no one party will take a majority. With that in mind, let's run through the possibile governments the UK could have for the next five years, in rough order of likelihood.
1/ Labour minority government, with SNP support. Will probably result in another Scottish independence referendum. Still, overall it's the best option going, since the SNP is the most left-wing party we've got (and, for the record, are currently looking to be the third-largest party, after the Conservatives and Labour).
2/ Conservative/Lib Dem coalition. A continuation of what we've currently got, though probably as a minority coalition. Not keen on this.
3/ SNP government. Sure, they're the third party, but if the two largest refuse to form a government, someone has to. This would be hilarious and I desperately wish it would happen. Nicola Sturgeon for Prime Minister!
4/ National government, AKA Conservative/Labour coalition. Hey, it worked for Churchill!
5/ Simultaneous meteor strike against all candidates, resulting in a second election. Look, it could happen!
6/ The Queen gets so ticked off with the whole thing that she reasserts her traditional rights, seizing power for herself. We probably go on to declare war on France 'just because'.
7/ UKIP/Green coalition. This government would have the goal of getting the UK out of the EU and into a forest.
8/ SNP/Sinn Fein/Plaid Cymru/UKIP/Mebyon Kernow/Wessex Regionalist/Yorkshire First coalition. AKA 'the Coalition for Independence from Everything'. After five years, the formerly-United Kingdom would be a patchwork of city states.
9/A sane government which actually puts the people of Britain and the world first. Pffffffft yeahright.
hS
(PS: I'm trusting here that the PPC is capable of having a reasonable conversation about even a hot-button issue such as this. Please don't prove me wrong, guys. ~hS) -
I vote option 6 by
on 2015-05-08 06:52:00 UTC
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...with the caveat that the Queen only run everything until Parliament gets its act together and starts thinking about what the British people actually want. Because the Queen is awesome.
(totally against NZ becoming a republic as long as Queen Elizabeth is around) -
Just saying, Lalla Ward would make the best PM. (nm) by
on 2015-05-08 05:30:00 UTC
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Pfeh. (Exit polls). by
on 2015-05-07 22:27:00 UTC
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According to the exit polls (ie, 'we asked random people as they came out'), the Conservatives very nearly have a majority. That's... very, very different to what the pre-election polls were saying. Like, the Tories have shot up 20 or 30 seats.
Desperately hoping this is wrong. (But will not be eating hat like Paddy Ashdown if it's correct.) I really, really don't want another five years of the Tories.
hS -
Uggggh. [Rubs eyes blearily] by
on 2015-05-08 09:05:00 UTC
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I had this horrible nightmare that the exit polls were right, and the Tories were sweeping towards an absolute majority. I tell you, it was--
... yeah, something like that.
So, it's another five years of Tories, this time without even the pretense that a coalition with the Liberal Traitors is holding them back. Joy. The only good thing is that UKIP did so badly, at least--
Oh, no, wait, I see that they've taken 12.5% of the national vote, giving them more actual votes than the SNP and Liberal Democrats combined. 1/8th of the country voted for the racio-nationalists. Rapture. (And yet they only got one seat. Hrm.)
Results can be found here, or frankly anywhere right now. I just... I just.
hS
(PS: The seat next door to mine went Conservative by a margin of 500 votes over Labour. I just... I just.) -
Well, that's that. by
on 2015-05-08 14:43:00 UTC
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Every seat except St. Ives has reported (apparently they're waiting on the ballot papers from the Scilly isles or something), and the Conservatives have won: 330 seats, over half of the 650 available. The Tories have an absolute majority.
On the plus side, Nigel 'UKIP' Farage didn't get elected (and has now resigned, along with Clegg and Milliband), and Natalie Bennett strengthened the Green Party's hold on Brighton Pavilion. But... that's about all the bright spots I can find. Five more years of the Tories. They've already sold the Royal Mail and half the National Health Service - I guess the next public service to be sold to the highest bidder is, what, schools? Oh, I know, maybe they could sell the right to collect taxes, that's been popular in the past.
This is your exceptionally bitter UK election correspondent, signing off.
hS -
At least there's independent Scotland to look forward to by
on 2015-05-10 20:10:00 UTC
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I like what I've seen of Salmond/Sturgeon and the SNP, and there's bound to be another referendum on independence if majority votes for Brexit.
Still, a pity that Ed lost and you'll have 5 more years of bedroom tax + 12 billion welfare cuts + lots of other bad stuff. -
It wasn't enough. by
on 2015-05-08 17:54:00 UTC
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It was never going to be enough. The right-wing press in this country hates the thought of someone who's not a Murdoch stooge in power, largely because the Dirty Digger tells them to hate it. Ed's too left of centre, by which I mean he's marginally to the left of Attila the bloody Hun. We get five years of Tories forcing more misery on the poor and disabled and disadvantaged because it's easier that actually sorting out the nation and making it work, and we had a chance to stop it, and even if it was never going to be enough we could have tried. This fight's over.
The next fight starts now.
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Let's all move to Sweden. by
on 2015-05-08 15:57:00 UTC
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Or Finland, or any of the Scandinavian countries, really. For a while I kept saying I'd move to England if things got really bad over here, but it sounds like you lot are following our example for some reason, so the merry fjords it is!
(I dread to think what's going to happen in the next US election. It's early, but nothing looks very good right now. Loooots of wackos in the field.)
~Neshomeh, sympathetic. -
US? by
on 2015-05-09 04:46:00 UTC
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Waka-flocka flam. Look him up, he's running for president apparently!
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Well...He is ineligible to run. by
on 2015-05-09 10:21:00 UTC
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You need to be at least 35, he is only 28. That could always change by amendment, but if any candidacy amendment would be made it would be to allow non-Natural Born Citizens run for presidency. But that isn't likely to happen. Though the Republican Pool is so weak, there might be enough support to try to let Schwarzenegger finally get that amendment through.
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Sweden ain't safe, guys. by
on 2015-05-08 22:01:00 UTC
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There's a highly active neo-Nazi movement in Sweden and it's really, really troubling.
In fact, it seems that Europe in general is being swept by anti-islamization / anti-immigrant movements. France has been subject to anti-islamic protests ever since the Charlie Hebdo incident (not to mention the Front National), Greece has the Golden Dawn party which is so far to the right that it's been described as outright fascist and Nazi-like, UKIP is a thing now, and the recent refugee troubles from the conflict in Syria and North Africa are polarizing people on the immigration issue.
Europe's political tendencies are shifting towards the right. In this climate of economic troubles and conservatism, it looks like it's going to stay that way for some time.
Sadly, Canada isn't better off. Our current conservative government is turning us into an economic, political, and cultural annex of the US. Harper is trying to kill the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and Radio Canada-- the organizations set in place to distribute Canadian culture to avoid this very situation. He also passed a bill that allows CSIS and the RCMP to mess around in the affairs of ordinary Canadians in the name of "national security". What are we? A police state? I guess we can kiss privacy goodbye because Big Brother is watching now. Let the paranoia and fear-mongering begin.
I should move to Antarctica. At least it's neutral territory there. -
You can always join us in Russia! by
on 2015-05-10 20:04:00 UTC
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The rouble has stabilised since last year, the economy is reorienting towards the East at full speed (should've been done a long time ago), anti-immigrant feelings are down and should stay down, and now that Dagestan is pacified, there's no anti-islam sentiment as well.
I'm only half-joking here. -
I should probably mention... by
on 2015-05-08 22:37:00 UTC
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UKIP might have a large share of the popular vote, but they're effectively neutered. They have just one seat in the Commons, which is actually down on what they had before after a couple of Tory defectors got booted out in favour of their former colleagues, and their leader (a naked mole rat attempting to swallow a billiard ball) was successfully prevented from taking office by the concerted effort of the voting public of Thanet South.
Look, Thanet South is my constituency and this election was a car crash for my party (Labour), so I'll take what comfort I can get. =] -
Seems like nowhere's safe. by
on 2015-05-08 22:17:00 UTC
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Eh, back to plan A with England. ^^;
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South Korea seems pretty good... by
on 2015-05-09 02:07:00 UTC
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Aside from the risk of war with North Korea. Though it does have good cost of living for Ex Pats. I lived in Seoul for a couple months. Nice living standard, low crime, foreigner friendly, lots of culture and history, accessible politicians, clean and beautiful city. Efficient Public Transportation. One of my personal favorite cities I have ever been to.
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I'll agree with that by
on 2015-05-08 19:36:00 UTC
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I have major reservations/problems with all announced candidates. Except for Bernie Sanders, though that is mostly because I know very little about him at this point. Though from what I understand I will most likely be very opposed to his Economic Platform. But he will never get the Democratic Nomination over Hillary. Which if she gets elected it will be more of the same. That is not necessarily a bad thing, I have liked some of what President Obama has done, but I also do not like some of what he has done.
I have a short list of who I would like to run, but frankly my preferred candidate is barred by the Constitution. So I am already looking at my second and third choices. -
If I may ask... by
on 2015-05-09 01:23:00 UTC
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Who is that preferred candidate of yours?
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Of the pool... by
on 2015-05-09 02:00:00 UTC
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Arnold Schwarzenegger for the most part. I do not agree with everything he did, but he as a Liberal Republican his overall platform is closest to my own stance on a lot of issues.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, it seems. by
on 2015-05-08 18:17:00 UTC
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Politics... Oy. Important to keep up with, but it seems that no matter where you go, those in charge will be looking out for themselves more than the people they've been given charge over. Sad, but human nature, I suppose.
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Agreed. by
on 2015-05-08 16:31:00 UTC
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I've been planning on moving to England after college for a while now, but suddenly it's not looking any better than America. Love how I'll be old enough to vote in time for a bunch of crazies.
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Huh. by
on 2015-05-08 16:18:00 UTC
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Is it bad that I consider moving to England a better option than staying here in Israel?
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*chortles* by
on 2015-05-07 13:16:00 UTC
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I'm with you on the list of outcomes according to likelihood, and actually rather like the idea of number 5. I saw enough of the election stuff on the news yesterday that I did just want to hit all the possible candidates for PM with something. A Cluebat, possibly.
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Well... by
on 2015-05-07 09:56:00 UTC
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We are already stuck with a bad Bibi-UOJ-Bennett government. The only half-decent person there is Kahlon and it's doubtful he'll be able to do anything worthwhile. Hope you guys won't get a similar one.