Subject: You could always add them to the NPC page...
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-24 04:07:00 UTC

Under the "adoptable NPCs" section. (Also, I love your description of what's-his-name's bathrobe. Now I want one with my initial on it. XD)

Time for my traditional (short) list of nitpicks!
"“Original the Character, Donut Steel~!”"
Hilarious, but that "the" doesn't belong. (Also, a couple lines later, you refer to him as "the Skarmory agent." A simple "he" will suffice.)

"'...I recorded what happened for all posterity. ..."
Either record something for posterity or for all eternity, but don't do both. (And yes, I'm aware that technically "all eternity" is redundant, too. :P)

(also, wow, stealing the main character's invincible egomaniac killer alter-ego. Like that's not basically an arrest warrant/stupid.)

More tomorrow.

Reply Return to messages