However, they eventually had to make their way to back to listen in.
There may be one “to” too much.

We could always just dump somewhere for a critter to find it or something.
Dump what? Is there a word missing?

Rina pulled him to the floor behind one of the sofas as when they spotted Ron there.
I’m not sure about this, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe one of these words would be enough?

HG

Do you need chocolate, too? I can give you some; my agents got a lifetime supply of Bleepolate...

*gives a bar anyway*

On the one hand, you only have two left. On the other hand, Order of the Phoenix is probably the worst.

I know this fic is incredibly toxic and you want to end it at a point where Rose is legitimately in danger, but it might be nice to have let it run through to the bit where Dumbledore explains everything. I couldn't really tell how far Rose had "read ahead" on this one, if that makes sense. Did she know about the whole "Fake Moody" scheme, or not?

Overall, you're doing a fantastic job, and I really admire your tenacity.

As far as Hogwarts Exposed goes... Doing Rose Potter and Little Miss Mary is bad enough. Doing Rose Potter, Little Miss Mary, AND Hogwarts Exposed is seriously pushing it (and by it, I mean the boundaries of your sanity). You don't have to kill all the Legendary Badfic yourself; save some of it for the rest of us. ;)

"Canin took over again for most of the chapter; Dumbledore introduced the heads of the schools and how the Triwizard champions would be selected, yadda yadda yadda. After the feast, Rose ditched her friends to wait for Cedric in the entrance hall."

I think you mean "canon" not "canin".

THAT WAS MY MOMENT! MINE!!! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS IF IT TAKES MY WHOLE LIFE!!!

XD I kid, I kid. Good job as always! I liked the way you offed Rose this time around - who knew Thunder Wave could still paralyze even outside the Pokemon universe?

Can you imagine? Or better yet, don't...incidentally, and a bit of trivia - Keiran's screen name comes from the Star Wars Expanded universe. It's the name of an ancient Jedi and the ancestor of a prominent character, Corran Horn.

Yes, I am the epitome of geek.

And no, no one that does that to Ronald Weasley deserves to live! Kill her! And then revive her, and kill her again just for kicks!

“Amos, think who you’re talking to!” said Mr Weasley, very angrily. “Is Rosey Potter likely to conjure the Dark Mark?”

“Yes,” both agents muttered in unison.

^I love this so much I cannot even express it. ^_^

McGonagall discreetly gave Rose a Time-Turner, and Rose discreetly put it in her invisible pocket.

^Why's this emphasised? It's not a mistake, and the sentence doesn't seem to add anything to the story.

...Rose and Dumbledore practiced the Imperius Curse on each other...

^Okay, I'm glad I stopped reading this rubbish. How is this acceptable? How do you endure the stupidity?

Rose Potter must die in all the fires... *walks off muttering angrily*

HOW?!

By the way, how do you change the link so that it looks like a sentence, without deleting the link?

Just one comment - it looks like Kieran Halcyon was using an early edition of the book, because JKR initially did give the counterspell for Stunning as Enervate - that's what it is in my copy of the book, which I got back in 2000. It was corrected to Rennervate in later editions though.

I haven't started reading yet, but, uh... It's Rose Potter.

Therefore, Rina's e-mail might contain RA coordinates for a deadly world of my own invention when she gets back.

Yeah, I know it won't be used on Rose, you have those planned. But hey, should you ever need to drop a Sue on a planet populated with arsenic-based life, and where man-sized carnivorous arthropods are the least dangerous thing around, there you go.