Subject: I caught a mini-(future)Agent.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-02-12 15:25:00 UTC
The triceratops' name is Marsha, not Martha.
Main reason I remember is because it's a homophone for my late grandmother's name.
I haven't finished reading, but so far the mission's pretty good! I'm just waiting for someone to sing Walk the Dinosaur near Ripper.
...we're pleased to announce that we've finally finished a thing as well. Ladies and gentlemen, "An Act of Sheer Will"!
All of the mini-Missingnos that we found in this epic doorstopper of a mission are available for adoption.
Wow. Even the excerpts are enough to show how ridiculous this fic was! I honestly had the urge to headwall; the badfic was so stupid.
Good work sporking it.
But there are still errors:
1) The most recent series arcs were actually pretty helpful in terms of character development.
You're missing an apostrophe: The most recent series' arcs...
2)watching the students and Team Rocket apply Potions to the Pokémons’ wounds
"Pokémon" is the same in the singular and the plural. Move the apostrophe: "Pokémon's wounds"
3)Another mini-Missingno, Houen, flew over to join the others, this one looking like a little black ghost.
This one is not as much an error as it is an FYI. "Houen" is the correct transliteration of the Japanese name for the region, even though the English version spells it "Hoenn." But this mission is yours and Iximaz's, so I'll leave it up to you whether you want to keep the Houen-mini or not.
4) I’m not to keen on owning one, anyway.
Missing an O: not too keen
5)and you never found someone trying to steal your horde
Homophone error. The correct word is horde.
You hoard stuff. A big enough horde might be able to take your stuff away by force.
6)“It was nice to see you, too,” the Armored Bird Pokémon replied
Skarmory, you've forgotten your own species name? It's Armor Bird; no -ed.
The worst part is that I actually wanted to go through all of Cori Fall's works in one go before actually reading them, but then it would've taken too long to get past them all - they're a horrifying combination of verbose and horrible, and I'm really glad this author isn't active anymore.
Fixed all the errors, btw. Thanks!
But Since eatpraylove is still doing homework:
and a moment later, the it had launched itself at him,
Mini alert: Terrodactyl should be “Terrordactyl"
Potential pronoun problem: He looked at him and shrugged.
The paragraph break may be sufficient to imply that this is Ripper looking at and then answering to Falchion, who spoke in the last paragraph, but it is not very clear.
And good Whirlwind or two would redirect them if anything went wrong, anyway.
Apparently an "a" is missing between "And" and "good".
HG
I honestly wasn't expecting Ripper to ever show up again. Good to know he got a bit of redemption.
Anyway, a couple things I noticed:
...that he he had been squatting upon.
Stray "he."
"Cori Falls? I must dare say, brother..."
That's not how you use "dare say," and adding "must" just sounds silly. Replace with "I must say" or "I must admit".
...Pokémon trainer versions of themselves with an aesthetic akin to the newer games.
So are Rina and Randa disguised as main-character lookalikes or an NPC trainer class or what? Be specific, please.
Rescued minis: pokemon (pixels)
Didn't we establish here that no two minis have the same misspelled name? Missingno are weird, so the rule might not apply to them, but as I recall, pokemon is shaped like an Aerodactyl skeleton.
I'd add more, but I have some homework to do.
The triceratops' name is Marsha, not Martha.
Main reason I remember is because it's a homophone for my late grandmother's name.
I haven't finished reading, but so far the mission's pretty good! I'm just waiting for someone to sing Walk the Dinosaur near Ripper.
I thought I spelled it Marsha... Oh, spitballs! Fixed!
And Ripper would be way too confused by the very concept of musical lyrics to even get the joke. Aren't animal calls a territorial or courtship behavior? I think he'd at least know enough about music to start bobbing his head to the beat just like a bird, though.
My main feeling from this mission is one of being kept constantly off-balance - mostly by Ripper. Zombie raptor Deinonychus, Archeops, character motivation... he just kept throwing out new stuff to absorb. (And you'll be glad to hear, I hope, that not reading the mission he first appeared in doesn't stop me understanding what's going on)
Also. Smaug in a Poke Ball. :O Perfect.
hS
(There would've been a response ficlet from the DMSE&R here, except that I'd misremembered which of my adopted agents were in that department. Sorry!)
Thank you kindly! A lot of the stuff that Ripper provided was actually from his homefic and my very first mission (which was the one he first appeared in, incidentally). If I had to choose one of the four Suvian characters to rescue, it would most likely be him, because he had the most potential to become a more balanced character in his own right. I was worried that his return wouldn't go over as well as it did, but I'm happy that it turned out okay.
Would "Smaug in a Poke Ball" make a good Creative Curse? 'Cuz I'd definitely have Falchion use it...
My favorite line was definitely "Smaug, I choose you!" I half-expected him to come and roast me for typing that. Let's hope he never finds out.
...and one is dead and the other neuralyzed, I'm sure he won't find out... Unless a Smaug replacement becomes an agent, however I find that quite unlikely.
Let me congratulate you both for the hard work!!! Well since Miss Dives did two jobs, but already took a "Nimbus 2000", it seems fair that only receives one gift for her hard work. *Takes out a weird golden disc* Here, have a Gen-IV TM-25, I'm sure you'll have a use for it. *winks*
And you my dear metallic friend, have a Gen-IV TM-91, even if you don't like it, I think you could get something for it in a exchange with someone. *disappears into the shadows*
Ms. Dives can be in receipt of a Paracelsus and Felix Summerbee Chocolate Frog Card... both original and with a poster size print of the artwork.
As for you, pointy metal bird, I have forbidden knowledge for you on these dubious rectangular TM-looking things.
Ahem:-
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Spinning Head (Steel) (Skyridge 97)
BP: 40 | Damage: Physical | Target: Adjacent Enemy | Base PP: 15 (max 24) | Effect Proc: 10% | Accuracy: 80% | Priority: -1
Hits up to 3 times. 10% chance to cause Confusion on each hit.
Power Count (Dark) (EX Dragon 21)
BP: ** | Damage: Special | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 5 (max 8) | Effect Proc: -- | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: 0
Deals Damage based on the average damage of the target's Damaging Moves.
Metallic Lift (Steel) (EX Deoxys 26)
BP: -- | Damage: Status | Target: Single Ally | Base PP: 20 (max 32) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: 0
The target Pokemon is immune to Ground-type attacks for 5 turns (8 if holding a Magnet)
Spearhead (Flying) (EX Deoxys 26)
BP: 100 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 10 (max 16) | Effect Proc: 20% | Accuracy: 75% | Priority: 0
Has a chance to lower the opponent's Speed stat by 1 stage.
Shining Horn (Fairy) (EX Delta Species 55)
BP: 40 | Damage: Physical | Target: All Adjacent Enemies | Base PP: 10 (max 24) | Effect Proc: 50% | Accuracy: 90% | Priority: 0
Chance to Flinch the opponents.
Cry For Help (Normal) (EX Delta Species 55)
BP: ** | Damage: ** | Target: ** | Base PP: 15 (max 24) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: **% | Priority: 0
Use a randomly-selected move another member of your team knows.
Air Crash (Flying) (Great Encounters 53)
BP: 60 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 10 (max 16) | Effect Proc: 50% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: -1
Chance to Disable the last damaging move the target used.
Mach Blade (Flying) (Stormfront 51)
BP: 40 | Damage: Physical | Target: Adjacent Enemy | Base PP: 30 (max 48) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: +1
No additional effect
Steel Coat (Steel) (Undaunted 21)
BP: -- | Damage: Status | Target: User | Base PP: 15 (max 24) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: --% | Priority: 0
This Pokemon's Defence and Special Defence cannot be lowered for 5 turns. After 5 turns, increase this Pokemon's Defence and Special Defence by 1 stage.
Razor Wing (Flying) (Undaunted 21)
BP: 80 | Damage: Physical | Target: Adjacent Enemy | Base PP: 10 (max 16) | Effect Proc: 30% | Accuracy: 90% | Priority: 0
Chance to Paralyze the opponent.
Hook Claw (Flying) (Boundaries Crossed 95)
BP: 120 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy| Base PP: 5 (max 8) | Effect Proc: 100% | Accuracy: 50% | Priority: 0
Chance to Confuse the opponent.
Cargo Jet (Fire) (Plasma Storm 87)
BP: -- | Damage: Status | Target: User | Base PP: 10 (max 16) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: --% | Priority: 1
The user loses 1/8th of their health. Remove all status effects. Additionally, if the user has lost or consumed its held item, another appears in its place.
Wing Cutter (Flying) (V.S. 7)
BP: 18 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 15 (max 24) | Effect Proc: 10% | Accuracy: 95% | Priority: +1
Hits up to 5 times. Chance to Flinch.
Metal Gravity (Steel) (EX Power Keepers 98)
BP: -- | Damage: Status | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 15 (max 24) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: -2
The target takes double damage from Steel-type moves. If the target is a Steel-type Pokemon, it loses that typing.
Silver Feather (Flying) (Supreme Victors 83)
BP: 60 | Damage: Special | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 5 (max 8) | Effect Proc: 20% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: 0
Chance to raise all stats by 1 stage.
Metal Max (Steel) (Supreme Victors 83)
BP: 20 | Damage: Status | Target: User | Base PP: 5 (max 8) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: 80% | Priority: 0
This attack's Base Power doubles with each consecutive use, to a maximum of 160.
Joust (Fighting) (XY 80)
BP: 40 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 20 (max 32) | Effect Proc: --% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: +1
Removes the enemy's held item.
Tailspin Piledriver (Steel) (XY 80)
BP: 120 | Damage: Physical | Target: Single Enemy | Base PP: 10 (max 16) | Effect Proc: 10% | Accuracy: 100% | Priority: -1
The user is locked into this attack for 2-3 turns, after which it becomes Confused. Chance to Flinch.
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This took for-bleedin'-ever so I hope you appreciate it. =]
I'm not familiar with the Pokemon card game (it's been forever since I collected the cards in the first place), but it's the thought that counts! Ditto (heh) for Edhelistar's TM Flash Cannon, which is kindly appreciated even though my Special Attack stat is just awful.
I could probably find a use for Mach Blade, Razor Wing, Steel Coat, and Tailspin Piledriver, though!
I call dibs on Razor Wing, by the way! A chance of paralyzing the opponent is always welcome when it comes to set-up moves.
I'm surprised you didn't take Shining Horn, though. It's probably the most broken move of the lot, being a damaging move with a decent attacking type that has a huge chance to flinch. =]
Also, I can do this for any and all Pokemon agents at the request of their authors, so hit me up if you want TCG moves.
Zeb says to tell you thank you. ;)
I'll take care of my agents' pages tomorrow, but I've been kicked off the desktop for the evening and will be unable to do any editing until then.