This fic... by
son_of_heaven176
on 2015-02-14 03:56:00 UTC
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Wow. Even the excerpts are enough to show how ridiculous this fic was! I honestly had the urge to headwall; the badfic was so stupid.
Good work sporking it.
But there are still errors:
1) The most recent series arcs were actually pretty helpful in terms of character development.
You're missing an apostrophe: The most recent series' arcs...
2)watching the students and Team Rocket apply Potions to the Pokémons’ wounds
"Pokémon" is the same in the singular and the plural. Move the apostrophe: "Pokémon's wounds"
3)Another mini-Missingno, Houen, flew over to join the others, this one looking like a little black ghost.
This one is not as much an error as it is an FYI. "Houen" is the correct transliteration of the Japanese name for the region, even though the English version spells it "Hoenn." But this mission is yours and Iximaz's, so I'll leave it up to you whether you want to keep the Houen-mini or not.
4) I’m not to keen on owning one, anyway.
Missing an O: not too keen
5)and you never found someone trying to steal your horde
Homophone error. The correct word is horde.
You hoard stuff. A big enough horde might be able to take your stuff away by force.
6)“It was nice to see you, too,” the Armored Bird Pokémon replied
Skarmory, you've forgotten your own species name? It's Armor Bird; no -ed.
I like this a lot by
Hieronymus Graubart
on 2015-02-13 11:53:00 UTC
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But Since eatpraylove is still doing homework:
and a moment later, the it had launched itself at him,
Mini alert: Terrodactyl should be “Terrordactyl"
Potential pronoun problem: He looked at him and shrugged.
The paragraph break may be sufficient to imply that this is Ripper looking at and then answering to Falchion, who spoke in the last paragraph, but it is not very clear.
And good Whirlwind or two would redirect them if anything went wrong, anyway.
Apparently an "a" is missing between "And" and "good".
HG
Nice work! by
eatpraylove
on 2015-02-12 18:47:00 UTC
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I honestly wasn't expecting Ripper to ever show up again. Good to know he got a bit of redemption.
Anyway, a couple things I noticed:
...that he he had been squatting upon.
Stray "he."
"Cori Falls? I must dare say, brother..."
That's not how you use "dare say," and adding "must" just sounds silly. Replace with "I must say" or "I must admit".
...Pokémon trainer versions of themselves with an aesthetic akin to the newer games.
So are Rina and Randa disguised as main-character lookalikes or an NPC trainer class or what? Be specific, please.
Rescued minis: pokemon (pixels)
Didn't we establish here that no two minis have the same misspelled name? Missingno are weird, so the rule might not apply to them, but as I recall, pokemon is shaped like an Aerodactyl skeleton.
I'd add more, but I have some homework to do.
I caught a mini-(future)Agent. by
Voyd
on 2015-02-12 15:25:00 UTC
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The triceratops' name is Marsha, not Martha.
Main reason I remember is because it's a homophone for my late grandmother's name.
I haven't finished reading, but so far the mission's pretty good! I'm just waiting for someone to sing Walk the Dinosaur near Ripper.
That was fun! by
Huinesoron
on 2015-02-12 10:16:00 UTC
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My main feeling from this mission is one of being kept constantly off-balance - mostly by Ripper. Zombie raptor Deinonychus, Archeops, character motivation... he just kept throwing out new stuff to absorb. (And you'll be glad to hear, I hope, that not reading the mission he first appeared in doesn't stop me understanding what's going on)
Also. Smaug in a Poke Ball. :O Perfect.
hS
(There would've been a response ficlet from the DMSE&R here, except that I'd misremembered which of my adopted agents were in that department. Sorry!)
*Applauses, cheering and celebratory trumpets* by
Edhelistar
on 2015-02-12 03:08:00 UTC
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Let me congratulate you both for the hard work!!! Well since Miss Dives did two jobs, but already took a "Nimbus 2000", it seems fair that only receives one gift for her hard work. *Takes out a weird golden disc* Here, have a Gen-IV TM-25, I'm sure you'll have a use for it. *winks*
And you my dear metallic friend, have a Gen-IV TM-91, even if you don't like it, I think you could get something for it in a exchange with someone. *disappears into the shadows*
Oh, Skarm, could I ask you to edit the Wiki? by
Iximaz
on 2015-02-12 01:26:00 UTC
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I'll take care of my agents' pages tomorrow, but I've been kicked off the desktop for the evening and will be unable to do any editing until then.