Subject: A review.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-02-10 18:44:00 UTC

First, and foremost, well done. I like your writing style, and your agents fascinate me so. I find it interesting how Rayner hates badfic characters with such a passion, while if Marvin and Printworthy were to find him in a fic, they would probably jump for the kill. A human male Rainbow Dash that eats meat? Sounds like a Stu to me! That said, he is very fun to read. You have definitely expanded his character beyond what I would expect from such Gary Stus. I look forward to reading more about him in the future.

As for E.V.(i)L? She is the near perfect opposite of Rayner, in almost every way. She is sympathetic to badfic characters, he wants to see them all hang; she is light and highly magical, he is bulky with minor magic; the obvious male, female; and other contradictions. This provides wonderful opportunities for conflict. However, they will have to learn to at least respect each other before all too long. Two agents that hate each other and will always hate each other gets old after a while. I'm not saying they need to like each other in the next mission or anything, but do keep this in mind.

Now, mission itself. I already stated how I did not see how this mission should exist. The fic was bad, no question, and it was good to see it go. However, I am just not sure a PPC mission was the way to go about it. An MST? Particularly scathing review, ala Nostalgia Critic? I don't know. I do like the character exploration that goes on in this fic, however.

The minis are questionable, to say the least. I grumbled, but accepted that creepers should not be capitalized, and could make a mini. Fine. However, all of the others? They are not names. They are descriptions of enchantments. I may be wrong, but if somebody said something like Wingardleiam Levyosa in a badfic, it would not cause a mini. This is a grammar/spelling error, but not one that would cause minis. At least, in my view. How appropriate we have a topic discussing this very issue just a little further down on the page.

Now, onto more positive comments, as I do have a lot of them. First, I see you watch Game Theory. Creepers are plants that explode to spread seeds? Yeah, I know where you got that theory.

Salvo, now there is an interesting character. A creeper spy? We just have to make sure he does not feel threatened, or things could go real bad, real quick. I do like him though. Is it bad that I imagine him as dressed like a mob boss? Blocky cigar hanging out of his mouth, black suit, the works. Given his love for blue crystals, perhaps it would be best to keep him away from Breaking Bad badfic. Just saying... You know, all of the recruiting these two do will either give Rayner and E.V.L. all sorts of vacation time, or on the Sunflower Official's blacklist. We shall see.

Speaking of Salvo, I liked how E.V.L. was dead-set on recruiting him. You can just see her wanting to give these characters a second chance, not unlike herself. Oh, she may think she wants to kill them all, but deep down, she hopes she can be of use to somebody. ...Well, that or she is building an arly of badfic characters to take down the PPC. Either way, we will have to keep an eye on her.

Beyond that, I don't have much to say, other then well done. I like your style, and while Rayner may edge a little close on the Stu scale for my comfort, I look forward to reading more from these two.

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