Hello, I'm an aspiring fanfic author. For awhile (some 7-5 years ago), I wrote truly terrible fanfiction, but had no idea, because all I got were generically positive reviews left by people who expected the same in turn. Fortunately, I read my own work at the end of every year, and tend to recognize when it is truly bad. However, knowing that it was bad didn't help me improve, so when, at 14, I finally recognized my first novel-length story as being terrible, I was so disheartened I stopped writing. Last year, however, after years of not writing, I tried my hand at it again, and am finally producing work I feel I can be proud of. Sadly, I'm still somewhat hindered by only having a few reviewers who really review.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tear my most recent work to shreds and give me an objective criticism of what I'm doing right, and, more importantly, what I'm doing wrong.
Fair warning, as well: My work tends to be pretty NSFW. It's not porn, but the violence can be fairly intense, I don't shy away from describing graphic injuries, and the source materials themselves are known for being pretty grimdark (one actually being the trope namer). Sexual content in my work isn't prevalent, but it does show up, though not in actual sex scenes.
The fanfic I'd like criticized is Ascendant Sun, Burning Moon. It's a crossover of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Exalted, so ideally I'd like someone familiar with both. If not both, though, you should probably be at least familiar with Exalted, as I'm told my story is more friendly to non-Buffy fans than non-Exalted fans.
Here is the link, and I thank you in advance for any aid you can offer:
http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-28231/InDrk+Ascendent+Sun+Burning+Moon.htm
Sincerely,
Fenrir666/Indrk (depending on which site you find me on)