Subject: Nice little mission. {= )
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Posted on: 2016-05-31 23:13:00 UTC

I'm glad to see someone taking on a more obscure (as far as missions go) genre of fanfic. I liked the little ways the agents created trouble just by being themselves, such as Des insisting that a scene break was coming any minute now, really; him having to figure out his new eyes; and the Librarian almost losing an eye to a teenager by being slow.

I'm also both pleased and slightly miffed to see the See-Through Device in action: pleased because I love it when people remember things and bring them back, but miffed because I was gonna do it and you ninja'd me. ^_~ It's okay, though; my use of it probably won't appear for a good long while yet anyway, the way my writing is going.

My only critique is that, in my estimation, you missed an opportunity for a good gag with the line "He turned around to leave, but found that his boots refused to budge." I figure either he's twisted his body around impossibly or else he's stepped out of his boots and left them glued to the doorstep; either way, it would've been funny. {= )

Aaand I am out of time to write more. Will hopefully read more later.

~Neshomeh

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