Subject: I want more.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-05-22 11:02:00 UTC

As far as I remember, your spin-off wasn’t actually my favorite back in the days when I read everything on the complete list of PPC fiction before joining the Board. But what I’ve seen from you since you returned – woah! There’s been a lot of development, either on your side or mine (or both). Over the past few years I learned a lot about the PPC and fandoms I didn’t know. I probably should go back and reread July and Calpunia’s story to see whether I can enjoy the diversity and originality more now. If I only had the time to do everything I want to do.

Nevertheless, even with beta readers of this caliber, some lines escaped the proofreading:

Out the door and back into the corridor, July fell into step next to Library, her pace and footing matching that of other woman's.
Shouldn’t this be either "matching the other woman’s" or "matching that of the other woman"?

We try to find two people each, and it should work out to hopefully enough.
Missing word "be"? I’m not sure whether this is intentional.

I think I might have accidentally on purposely sold myself to the US military ...
Shouldn’t this be either "on purpose" or "purposely"? Again, I’m not certain whether July making small mistakes in her dialogue is intentional.

Do look like a masochist?
As far as I know Nume, he wouldn’t leave out the "I"?

I’m looking forward to the actual mission, and how you’ll make this SFW.

HG

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