Subject: Hat firmly screwed on.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-05-10 20:33:00 UTC
Hoom, hoom.
Fic to spork: I have no idea what SeaQuest is and none of the people I asked knew it, so I can't really say whether the fic breaks canon, but it definitely has Sue warning signs. The SPaG isn't fantastic, either.
Writing ability (technical): Definitely better. However, your SPaG still has some pretty glaring errors (like comma/full stop substitutions and missing quotation marks). I think you could really use more betas. My own rule of thumb — y'know, for stuff I publish — is never less than two betas, three if I'm not certain and more if I'm doing something big or drastic. Further, leaving stuff like "RC {number}" in when you can just say "the RC" makes your piece looks unfinished.
As a note, the present tense on the Injerd prompt is annoying and not done often, but not too bad an attribute.
PPC knowledge: Mostly solid, except for the recruiter at the job fair (I don't think the PPC does that?) and the implied eating of Pokémon in the Cafeteria (ew, no). Also, Medical (the department) is capitalised.
Activity: So far, the most I've seen out of you is a) activity related to your Permission and b) one-liners appended to stuff other people say. I feel that you're not really involved with the community right now. Not posting a lot is completely fine — RL eats your time, you're away from Internet, whatever — but right now the little you post has no interaction in it, which is pretty bad.
Writing ability (creative):
-The Kelly and Injerd prompt is pretty good, as Key noted. One thing that is really problematic, though, is that it's basically cut off; the ending is way too abrupt and not a natural "ending point" (like, say, leaving for the mission).
-The Kelly and September prompt, well. It feels kinda robotic, there — not too much feeling. Further, September's problem is really confusing — did she eat something bad or is she having her period? Further, the thing about fandoms — I had to google "Topher Brink" to figure the mission is Dollhouse; you should really try to make your writing accessible to people unfamiliar with the fandom concerned (it is my humble opinion that doing so is one of the signs of a truly good PPC writer).
-The food fight prompt has two problems: the cook's mood swing, which is pretty jarring, and the lack of any food fight in a prompt about a food fight. It also looks cut-off.
-The last prompt has one really big problem: it's a prompt about DAC despite it being supposed to be about a robot wearing a paper mask. September and Kelly's interactions are OK, though.
-The "personality" section in Kelly's profile doesn't fit what we actually see of her. September and Injerd's are much better.
Conclusion: almost and with marked improvement, but not quite yet. The clincher of my decision is the activity bit; the PPC is a community first and a shared universe second. Unless another PG objects, Permission denied.
(Don't give up. You're nearly there.)