Well, I'm definitely not a newbie now. Just a lurker. Here, ignore my monologue and have a plate of cheeses.

Have a sewing machine to hide in.

So you'll always look cool without trying!

Have a shovel enchanted to dig up... um... I think this is one page of the Book of the Damned.

I'll just... be over there.

As yer newbie gift, have this replica of the One Ring, that also works as TM25 Thunderbolt! You can also have this brand-new Net Ball and a sealed Safari Ball with a 0.001% chance of having a Chansey in it.

Have a box of Jacob's Cream Crackers and some Wensleydale. Cheese, Gromit!

Also, what's your favourite Pokémon? Type? Gym leader? Generation? Side-game? :D I'm excited for more Pokémon buddies.

Welcome! Have an Apple of Discord

To be honest I have no idea what it does.

Have one of my own shed feathers, and a Lyra plushie (now 100% free of any suspicious holes)! :D

Hello, hello, and welcome to the PPC! I'm Ivy, unofficial and self-declared resident deductionist. It's good to meet you! Have some chocolate; on the right is some fancy imported type with ginger and cashews, and the left contains Bleeprin. Happy reading!

-Vee

*high-fives* Have some popcorn to eat while you read the Original Series, a Focus Sash, and a jar of Zap Apple jam!

Have a seat by the fireplace. Don't worry, there's a below average chance it's a gateway to the elemental plane of fire.

For your gift, take this Replica Holocron. Useful for storing ancient knowledge of all sorts.

I look forward to seeing you around!

Have a random item as a welcoming gift! *rummages through closet* Have a pair of beaten-up sneakers and a cursed ring.

Please accept this elegant and finely-crafted starter Pokémon:-



Iiiiiiit's Onix!

And your starting item is:-



Copper Ammolet from Enter The Gungeon!

The Ammolets are really interesting items, in that they boost the damage of multiple-target moves by 25% and grant them an additional effect, in this case a 30% chance to burn. However, Onix isn't necessarily the 'mon to use them on. While STAB Earthquake is nice for burn spreading, Onix's Attack is hot trash and its low Speed means it won't be able to spread many of them. Additionally, there's a limit to how useful burn spreading even is for a physically defensive 'mon like Onix. The best thing to do would probably wait for it to evolve, but if you're determined to use it, try a Jolly one with EVs in HP and Speed and the ability Sturdy. Then, you'll want to give it the moves Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stealth Rock, and Explosion in the last slot - not a lot of people realize that the Ammolets affect moves like Explosion and Selfdestruct. Most importantly though, have fun. =]

I may fight you about best pony... RD all the way.

But besides that, welcome! Make yourself comfortable and have a slice of Infinite Pizza

Have these black-hole chocolates, please. So, you presented us some of your fandoms, so only question left is how many PPC stories did you read until now? Enjoy your stay.

(P.S.: By vertue of utterly destroying a giant robot, Rainbow Dash is the best pony. Better patch up the way you write her name.)

Tonight has hit me in the feels, but I can still offer something: a lullaby I learned at the same time.

Once in a time, there lived a boy, together with mother and father.
The dad beamed with joy, the mom wept with woe, for she wanted a daughter.
The son loved them both with all his heart, for he didn't know any other.
Yet you should not fret, my darling child, you should neither mourn nor cry.
The dad was sweet cane, the mom gingerbread, the son a marzipan pie.

...I am a girl, and a Canadian. I'm a native English speaker so feel free to mock my muck ups. I also have interest in creating original works like art, writing, and video garmes (not to mention I'm a Jim Mother******' Sterling SON[!] fan)

*Spaceballs puns intensify*
Hullo there, new person! Have a cup of soothing mint infusion. And the accompanying Nug, of course.

Good day, Midnight Starr.
Always good to have more people. The more the merrier, and such.

Suppose I ought to give you a fake gift you can't use in real life, then.
I give you: One of those plastic grabber claws!
They look real bloody cool, don't they? Think you can grab from miles away, don't you?
Nope.
It'll break within two uses, so use them wisely.

Make sure you check out the constitution if you haven't done already, as well as our FAQs available on the wiki. All of these things are linked up in our header there.

If you've got any other questions or just want a chat, feel free to hit me up on my email up there; it might take a wee bit because currently I'm on a ship, but I do try to reply promptly.

-July

...to spell "Princess Luna".

Jokes aside, welcome to the Board! Have some hydrophobic water to commemorate the occasion. It's a part of any complete breakfast.

So, a fellow Pokémon trainer, eh? Firstly, allow me to direct you to the ongoing PPC Pokémon Tournament's thread. You can find the Google doc with all of the matches and the bracket so far in there. Secondly, what's your favourite starter? I'm partial to Piplup myself-- Empoleon is a hella cool 'mon, isn't it?