Subject: Egads, you've discovered my secret!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-04-20 03:10:00 UTC
I am, indeed, the oldest woman in the world! Great, now I have to find a new screen name. Dangit, Larfen!
Seriously though, that made me laugh quite a bit. ^_^
-Alleb
It's my birthday! My first birthday in the PPC, actually. In all my *microphone feedback* years of life, I've never had the pleasure of being part of online community quite so nice as this one. So I'm glad I get to spend my *drowned out by Generic Crowd* birthday here.
Alright, so, I'm a rather private person. I haven't told anyone on here my age (or any other information about me, really) and I doubt I ever will, but I'm curious; how old do all of you think I am?
-Alleb
*gasp* How dare I? To atone for this terrible offence, I present you with an enormous block of chocolate dusted with platnium, because platnium is cool.
Also, have some Dubious Boxes. I'm really not sure what's inside, but the one on the left is shaking. It's probably safe...
I hope you've had a lovely day, and all those birthday sentiments.
-Vee
*gingerly takes Dubious Boxes* I hope these don't explode or anything...
I did, thank you! It was excellent.
-Alleb
This one digs up major artifacts. Watch out for the intelligent ones.
As for my best guess... I'd say 16 to 22.
That reminds me of something. I can't find the image, so I'll just quote it: "Video games are so weird. 'Hey, you just killed that giant goat man, have some shoes you're not intelligent enough to wear.'"
Excuse me while I go dig up some artifacts. ^_^
-Alleb
Here, take this birthday pizza, it's tradition in my family.
As for your age, I'm going to guess early twenties. I don't really have a reason, but I trust my instincts.
Thank you! Hum, birthday pizza doesn't sound like a bad tradition at all. That should be A Thing.
-Alleb
I might look a bit like a bowling ball that's been wrapped in a thick layer of fat and lard, but let me tell you, I have the brain of a super sleuth, the nose of a bloodhound, the eyes of a hawk and the fabulous legs of a Peruvian supermodel.
I've got you figured out, Miss.
You are 117 years old, and are the oldest living woman in the world.
Congratulations, Susannah Mushatt Jones!
Happy birthday, and don't die too soon, you old bird, you!
I am, indeed, the oldest woman in the world! Great, now I have to find a new screen name. Dangit, Larfen!
Seriously though, that made me laugh quite a bit. ^_^
-Alleb
I've had a whole three post conversation with Ivy.
Pretty experienced.
...I can confirm this as fact. Good job, Larfen. I'm proud.
-Vee
I mean, you're both a wizard and a sorcerer!
How can I compete with that?
You're rather capable yourself in the magic department. Someday you will earn your wizard badges and wear a purple cloak in public.
-Vee
Well, now I have to test out new screen names. Erhm... Alleb2 it is.
-Alleb2
Have a large swishy skit made out of fruit roll-ups! My guess is that you are in your late teens: younger kids are often too foolish to protect their personal information in any way, shape, or form; and when adults protect their personal information, they often don't worry as much about age, since pedophiles aren't going after them any more.
--Key is not Ivy and never will be
P.S. Hey, you know how parents tell you that the nice person about your age could easily turn out to be a pedophile? Does anyone tell the pedophiles that? Has their been a documented case of undercover pedophiles accidentally seducing each other? I'm sure this has happened, but I can't figure out the right keywords to search. Each sending each other fake pictures stolen from other people's profiles. . . I wonder what happened when they found out. Did they feel victimized?
Yeah, young kids don't belong on the internet. 'Tis a scary place.
I've... never thought about that. I kinda hope it's happened, honestly. That would be hilarious.
-Alleb
Where they talk to each other and "share tips," etc., so they'd recognize pretty quickly if someone was pulling a typical trick on them. But the Internet's a big place, and people are spacey, so who knows, it probably has happened.
You refer to anyone younger than late teens as "young kids!" You are probably somewhere in your 20s!
--Key is still not Ivy
But most teens could probably still be called young kids. *in best old man voice* "Dad gum whippersnappers! Get off my lawn!"
-Alleb
You're so good at that.
I tend to refer to young teenagers as "young kids" because I'm friends with a lot of them and don't want to be taken for one myself *shrug*
I'm not being consistent in this thread, am I. Okay.
--Key should go home
Everyone's a young kid to me.
Mm, that's understandable.
Ah, it's fine. I'm never particularly consistent either.
-Alleb
I honestly never thought about your age. If you don't feel comfortable telling us about yourself, I totally understand and won't force the issue. Have a box of chocolate cupcakes. ^_^
I don't think about age much, either, but I prefer to be cautious. Ooh, cupcakes!
-Alleb
I always got the feeling that you were a teenager. So, uh, 18 today? That's my best guess.
(Actually, you remind me a lot of an old friend, so my guess is probably influenced by her age)
Perhaps, perhaps. Or maybe Larfen is right and I'm over a hundred. ^_^
-Alleb
Have black-hole chocolates and black-hole-coffee.
Now, for the age-guessing, I'll go for safety and someting between late teens and early twenties
Thank you!
Late teens to early twenties, eh? Very interesting.
-Alleb
Because of that, you're not getting a song! :P
.
.
.
.
.
Nah, I couldn't do that *nods at the Band*
GRAB THE CHAIR, BOYS! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER BUCKET-KICKER!
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
As for your question... Hmm, I always assume people to be in their teens (even if they're in their 30s... BUT THEY LOOK LIKE TEENS, DANGIT!), therefore I'm gonna guess 17-ish, max. 19.
Nice song! Thank you!
Ha, yeah, I usually guess teens as well.
-Alleb
And I'm guessing mid to late teens? You seem mature enough, of course, but your pauses between posts make me think you're in college or something, IDK.
Thanks for the birthday wishes! Are you right? Are you wrong? We may never know! *grins*
-Alleb