I transferred the major changes into a new file.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/108sqm4_79vMO-09NG4DYMSkxOSXonq9DlRVaKCv3X6c/edit?usp=sharing

It seems that species names seem to be the same name as the planet and nationality. I don't capitalize human or cat, but to use hat planet naming conventions, we would be Terrans and the cats would be called Terran felines. Or would it be Terran Cat?

If you mean can you have stories for both prompts in the same document, I'm pretty sure the answer is 'yes, just make sure it's clear where each one starts'. On the other hand, looking at your wording and the doc makes me think you meant 'can I write one story using both prompts', which...is a pretty neat idea, though I have no idea if that's an okay/done thing or not. Someone else want to clarify? Do we even have an answer for this yet?

A Bit of Light Betaing (because I noticed some things but don't actually have much free time right now):

In terms of the actual story, which I glanced through a very little bit (okay, I mainly read through the ending for some reason): I see you have a Klingon in there. That's cool! Is the Klingon meant to be a particular Klingon (I believe there are only two currently identified as agents--Morgan's former partner, and Kozar)? Or is he a new one? Either way, he needs a capital letter on 'Klingon' (see Memory Alpha for how it's used--which is quite simple: just capitalize it!--and for more information on Klingons).

Speaking of more information on Klingons: what September says to him? That should get her a *very* angry Klingon, not a Klingon who gets distracted by the ball of whatever it is (do I...want to know? My current guess is 'horse dung', except...from the centaur? Which sounds like a slur against centaurs, but...)

And, of course, speaking of the ball and the interaction with the Klingon and everything: it seems...kind of nonsensical. Even leaving aside the Klingon not really reacting to the insult apart from stomping over, I don't understand what the ball is, why it's there, what the Klingon knows about it (or why he should care), and, perhaps most importantly, why the Klingon feels so urgently responsible for it that it's the only thing he focuses on.

Also: er, would a Babysitters Club character really swear like that? I was under the impression they didn't really do that in those books, though my knowledge admittedly comes from the first few Snark Squad reviews of the books and not from reading them myself. Also: Babysitters, no apostrophe. There's some ridiculous reason in one of the first few books.

One more small thing: Kelly says she comes from a "Ben 10 Men In Black crossover." Crossovers are generally denoted by either an x (as in Ben 10 x Men in Black) or a slash (as in Ben 10/Men in Black). As well, titles of movies, TV shows, books, magazines, and so on (probably games as well) are usually italicized, giving us "Ben 10/Men in Black crossover." And, lastly, Men in Black doesn't have 'in' capitalized, according to iMDB and grammar rules. (Similarly, Star Trek has no hyphen and gets italicized.)

...and one last thing: I don't see any mention of which prompts you've used, and I can't really guess (partly because I don't exactly have them all memorized). So: which prompts have you used? And might I suggest putting them somewhere visible in the doc, either before or after the story text?

Hope that helps a little.

~DF

Kelly Stone is a human from a Ben 10 MIB crossover. She worked for a bunch of aliens who had an exorcism business. It was a scam because they would set up the hauntings.

She had polarized reading glasses which would prevent neuralysation. I would like for her to be able to keep the uncanonical technology.

Kelly has a mean streak, but mostly it should be directed towards Sues and badfic. Most of her moods are defined by how irritated she is. Almost nothing really surprises her. If she says "good job" and means it, she's actually really impressed.

Kelly is very picky about what she eats and drinks. She also hates getting substances on her, but getting muddy is considered highly annoying instead of something to freak out about. She prefers to keep her RC and equipment neat and tidy. This is not OCD, it's just recognizing that keeping things organized makes life easier.

Kelly is good at predicting what will go wrong and avoiding it. She has an almost obsession with the Ironic Overpower, which means that not having the worst thing try to happen is slightly disturbing for her.


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September Johnson came from an artist colony. The ideal personality type was Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. Since September was a more down-to-earth type, she was a bit of an outcast. She's also shy. She doesn't seem to have any special artistic talent. She would have been good at science if she had been encouraged to pursue it as a child. She loves science fiction.

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Tom had to leave the field because he couldn't control his non-specific mental problem when he doesn't get enough sleep.

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I hated writing the Orkan. Hopefully that plothole was lined with spikes.