Subject: CONGRATULATIONS
Author:
Posted on: 2016-03-17 12:38:00 UTC

Since it is, in fact, your birthday, I will take the liberties of being you.
*clears throat dramatically*
CONGRATULATIONS, COMRADE, FOR YOU ARE ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING GREETED BY THE GLORIOUS VOID! TODAY WE CELEBRATE THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH, WHEN IN FACT YOU ARE ONE DAY CLOSER TO INEVITABLE DOOM!
Hurrah! *tosses confetti*
Also, happy Saint Patrick's Day, and all that!

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