This was fun. by
the Irish Samurai
on 2015-11-25 13:19:00 UTC
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I like how the organisation felt both similar to, and different from, the normal PPC. I especially liked how the ship names were taken from standard PPC characters.
There was one word choice which seemed a little odd to me, 'The Lambda-class shuttle Constance span through the void'. I'd tend to use 'spun' as the past tense of spin myself, although that might just be because span has a different meaning in engineering terms (the distance between two supports of a beam, or the unsupported length of a cantilever beam).
Arikae's tactic at the end was an interesting one to think about. It's funny, all of the holograms we see in the films are semi-transparent, and usually blue-shifted. Not the sort of thing that you'd ever be able to mistake for the real thing. Yet I'm sure I've seen several similar tactics used in the EU, including at least on example where a decoy fleet of holographic ships distracted an Imperial fleet. Which, if I'm remembering it rightly, kind of implies that even the capital ships in Star Wars rely purely on visual targeting.
But yeah, it was good quick thinking on her part to come up with a distraction like that.
You've got some very nice lines, my favourite here was 'Arikae's eyes flickered open. "My everything hurts," she protested. "That's just not fair."'.
One other little thing that I've just noticed is that it started off with curly quotes, but switched to straight quotes in the early part of the third section (the one that starts with 'There is no passion; there is serenity.'.
- Irish
Well done by
Hieronymus Graubart
on 2015-11-22 20:06:00 UTC
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Except
... she asked once she the pain had subsided a little.
One word too much.
HG
Speaking about PPC AUs, paging Scapegrace by
son_of_heaven176
on 2015-11-18 23:02:00 UTC
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What's the status of the Pokemon AU?
Impressive. by
Hardric
on 2015-11-18 15:32:00 UTC
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That's a great idea for an AU, although I couldn't probably be part of it; I get carried away pretty easely by my emotions, so I wouldn't make for a good Jedi (Although I think that the 'living droid' approach about them from the Order post-Ruusan was bound to cause disaster, but that's only personal opinion).
Let's hope that Episode VII will live up to the best parts of the Legends continuum.
(P.S.: How do you put italics here?).
That's really cool. =] by
Scapegrace
on 2015-11-18 15:08:00 UTC
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And now I have more impetus to work on the Pokémon AU. Like, at all. =]