Subject: Uncanon potions: The choice for all your bad fanfic needs
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Posted on: 2015-11-13 02:18:00 UTC
How do they not have a way to reverse the potion anyway? You think a school with some of the best wizards in the world would have something to help.
So I found this fanfic which is about a Hetalia canon,Romano, some how being the personification of Equestria and South Italy at the same time.
The fanfic is called "Southern Heir" and poor Romano is replaced by an alicorn stu.
Characters in Hetalia are meant to reflect their people and not their leaders and Romano being an Alicorn makes no sense at all. He'd be the most common pony type in Equestria to reflect the population. I'd go on more but I'm not sure everyone would be interested in it.
However while reading the adventures of Stumano I couldn't help but wonder,how bad do fanfics like this get?
So what is the strangest thing you've guys have seen a fanfic author and/or fan artist do to a poor canon or canons?
While I can't recall the name of the fic in question (though you could probably find it through some intensive searching online. If you're a masochist), I do remember that it involved the Tenth Doctor (from Doctor Who) being kidnapped, turned into a vampire, and repeatedly raped and tortured by a possessive!vampire!Master.
There was also mpreg involved, if my memory serves me correctly.
Bob turning into Glitch Bob in Reboot was kinda weird.
Also Finn losing his arm in Adventure Time.
Not What it Appears gives Hermione really neglectful Replaced!parents, which leads to her and Harry getting "rescued" by Dumbledore and McGonagall's twin non-canon children, who then proceed to use a spell, which is so Glaurunging uncanonical that it is definitely capable of tearing the continuum asunder on its own, to turn them back into babies.
Now let's see... Hermione is eight at the start of this mess, which means that we are probably in 1987.
The spell turns them into 8 months old babies. So if you add about 10 years you get that... the events of HPSS (which are copied almost word for word) happen in 1997, a full Glaurunging six years later than in canon. Apparently, Voldemort is really patient now.
This thing also has the highest count of uncanonical relatives that I've ever seen: Dumbledore and McGonagall (talk about a crack pairing) have 8 non-canon children, and an untold number of non-canon grandchildren. McGonagall somehow had a son with Glaurunging Voldermort, who also had a son with Bellatrix. Said son then had a child, which gives Voldemort three too many uncanon relatives. And finally, Hermione is the biological daughter of Regulus Black.
and just for the record, here is the canon shattering spell:
Before me sits a child in shadow. I call the gods to bring him (her) to the light. Bring forth a new slate and begin again.
Erase the memories long since black
Erase the feelings never to come back
I am this child's father (mother)
I am this child's blood
From me this child shall learn
For me this shall mourn
From this day forth this this child is mine forever more
Return Harry (Hermione) to an age to start again to start anew and bring them to safely to my arms! .
Okay first off was this written before or after Dumbledore was officially confirmed gay? Because if it was written afterwards the whole pairing him with McGonagall seems a bit on the homophobic side.
Not that the rest of the fanfic isn't terrible but I am really wondering about that part specifically.
She confirmed that way back in 2007 and this badfic was first published on the Pit in 2010.
You'd think fanfic writers would respect things like that.
Then again, there are a lot of things Suethor don't respect, so sadly it isn't that surprising. D:
In His little girl we have a potion gone wrong that drains most of Hermione's intelligence and gives it to Ron, which obviously would have made them really OOC if this ever continued. Said intelligence draining gradually leaves Hermione with the mentality of a toddler.
Her parents abandon her, she is given another highly uncanonical potion, which makes her phisically a toddler and then she gets adopted by Harry which convulutely turns him into a legal adult and there is the unexplicable mention of "magical adoption" making the child look like their adopted parents...
Yeah, I am definitely going to mission this thing after I am done with Rini's Horrible Death.
How do they not have a way to reverse the potion anyway? You think a school with some of the best wizards in the world would have something to help.
the effects of most potions aren't permanent. Because in this fic, Snape, of all people, states outright that the effects of the intelligence draining potion are PERMANENT. * headdesks *
But perhaps the worst part of this whole mess is that Hermione's (really OOC) parents outright reject her because they " don't want to be reminded every day that Hermione is dead. " Look, I unfortunately know from personal expirience what's like to someone in your family suffering from severe memory loss and it's definitely not pretty and it can very unsettling, but you can't just abandon your own child like that. I mean, if you were to substitute the potion for a stroke or trauma-induced amnesia, would they still react like that?
Oh, then there is this lovely bit of really poorly executed fourth-wall breaking:" Up to now, this narrative has dwealt on Hermione's plight. The effects of the potion on her. Now, let's switch to Ron's. You may remember, and hopefully you do, or you've got short term memory loss issues, that the potion was meant to give Ron all the intelligence that Hermione lost. You might have assumed, since Ron's name was mentioned, literally, only ten times in the last chapter, compared to Hermione's twenty-four, that maybe since the potion was made so badly, Ron had escaped all its effects. "
Also, the author somehow managed to misspell Weasley as Weasly a grand total of ... 16 Glaurunging times!
Madoka Magica Rebellion had some interesting stuff goign on, but turning poor Homura (who has her issues and surely is at least a bit obsessed with Madoka, but she's been though A LOT) into some sort of reality warping, flanderized, self-appointed Devil who remade the whole universe into one where Madoka is safe, against her own wishes, and justifying it with the power of "love" was pretty much headdesk material.
The even worse thing?
I'm not talking about a badfic. I'm talking about actual canon.
I don't know how the heck Homura would gain all that power to be the devil. Maybe it is in the movie or something but I really don't understand that part.
In magical girl anime, emotions are power. Homura's emotions just happened to be wildly out of control.
Well I know that,but the series had ended with Madoka literally becoming a goddess and the embodiment of hope with no physical body.
I would figure it would be hard for Homura's powers to reach that level.
Given how much of her life Homura dedicated to Madoka, how much pain and suffering she endured and how many times she went back to try to save Madoka, it really shouldn't be that surprising that she could be so powerful. Her devotion to Madoka is probably the strongest and most unwavering emotion felt by anyone in the cast.
I thought the whole point of that was the idea of love going /too far/ and becoming stalkerish obsession. From the way I saw it, Homura herself had flanderized her mental image of Madoka so much that she misinterpreted what Madoka said to her, or even subconsciously forced Madoka to say something she could interpret the way she wanted. It's the whole 'sunk cost' fallacy and such, where she's put so much effort into saving Madoka that she's utterly convinced herself that Madoka is a perfect, precious thing that needs to be protected instead of a literal god.
Personally, I always saw the little purple lizard as being the last shred of Homura's sanity, or good sense, or whatever you want to call it, right before it went splat and Akumura took over.
Heck, we don't even know exactly how Homura stole Madoka's power. COonsidering how throrough of an explanation we get abou why Madoka was so powerful in the first place, the "corrupted her soul gem with love instead of despair" thing makes no sense, as the power of a Puella Magi or a Witch is related mostly to the power at the time of the contract AFAIK.
Let's not delve in the huge plothole of how the omniscient Madoka didn't see what was going to happen ("I can see every universe that exist or could have existed", remember?), or even why Nagisa is even there (she accomplishes very little and is basically just Charlotte fans pandering)
Frankly, the movie feels almost like deliberate fan trolling IMHO, and a direction that should not have been taken. Homura's seen Hell already, before Rebellion she was already broken and barely held together by paper tape.
Was there any need to put her into a grinder, so the resulting dust was something that cannot be defined as Homura Akemi anymore? No, god damn it.
But in Nagisa's defense, she's adorable.
She somehow got more powerful than Madoka despite only (again, somehow) stealing a fraction of her power.
Twilight Sparkle becoming a hybrid of Godzilla, Destoroyah, and Spacegodzilla. I wish I was kidding.
Oh gosh what kind of fanfic was that?
Oddly enough, the actual kaiju never even directly appear in the story.
The moment chosen for this change was somewhat logical, but after that the canon is drowned in an eldritch mix of beige prose, bad plagiarism and no logic. Not cool.
I don't suppose you'd happen to have a link? Because I could see that going in some extremely, ahem, intriguing directions, and I'd be interested to see what actually happens.
Name's ReVamp. Be warned however; the Suethor is slauthering White Night, Dead Beat and Proven Guilty, real issues of a Vampire!Dresden aren't really adressed, he cannot understand that Murphy is called Karrin, not Karen, and... Just see it by yourself. The Suethor wrote many others DF stories if you really have got a trainwreck syndrome.
I have to wonder if any plagiarism is good plagiarism.
The plagiarism is blatant, but the author couldn't even do this right, like a person ripping off an essay on the web, then "tuning" with its own bad style.
By the way, WCV are "emotional vampires", more on par with succubi and inccubi.
But seeing Fate Testarossa replaced to the point she tortures her own daughter was the only time badfic actually made me cry because of how bad it is.
Just wow.
The Suethor couldn't just understand that Nanohaverse protagonists are almost literaly pure good. The whole canon got remplaced this way.
In that one, Fate also tortures someone, but one she tortures is Schach and does it in front of Vivio. It's just as bad, but I don't think it is the same one. I previously though it was, but Des said it was Vivio getting tortured, which was not what happened in All Throught With This Niceness and Negotiation Stuff.
I mean, torturing someone in front of your child will hurt her a lot, and this thing is That One Badfic for Des. I cannot remember him mentioning any other Nanohaverse badfic that hurt him so much as this one.
I kinda really don't like the badfic. For obvious reasons.
I couldn't even begin to imagine a Nanoha bleepfic worse than that one, so that makes sense. The wording in your previous post just confused me a bit, that's all.
In a similar note, I would have to name the Serena replacement featured in my upcoming mission, who brutally tortures and then murders Rini. But the worst part is that is the entire point of the Glaurunging bleepfic. It's torture porn written by someone who hates Rini to the point that they would write her getting brutally tortured and killed by her own mother!
That's your first mission right?
Revenge fanfics are some of the worse ones I've ever read. I'm surprised there aren't that many revenge fanfics that have been missioned actually.
Revenge fics are indeed some of the worst ones. Why the heck would anyone think of doing that to a little girl is beyond me. Sure, Rini can be annoying sometimes, but that is absolutely no reason at all to do something this vile to her. Just as bad as is the "motive" they give Serena: Rini "daring" to love and show innocent affection towards her own father. For such "crimes" , Serena saws all ten of her fingers off and then rips her heart out.
Annie in Gunnerkrigg Court is a sweet, kind girl who is in a lot of pain for much of the story, trying desperately to deal with what happened to her mother and its aftermath.
Annie in Everybody In Annie's Forest is insane and a serial rapist and likely murderer. Also the phrase "fire cock" features heavily in proceedings.
I was Not Best Pleased by this turn of events.
I'll have to go read that mission now.
It's kind of worrying fandoms seem to always have fanfics with tquiet characters "snapping" or whatever they call it.
It's Harry Potter again, but this time, he's thrown into Middle-earth and turned into a simpering, dewy-eyed toddler for reasons that are never satisfactorily explained.
~Neshomeh
I've actually found like two fanfics where Harry is a city representation in hetalia for like little reason. In one he was London and in the other he was a city in Switzerland.
Rapist!evil!Dumbledore and hermaphrodite!woobie!Snape. Because that's a thing that happened, however much we might want to pretend otherwise.
I don't get Hetalia at all, TBH. I tried watching it a while back, and just found it too fast and chaotic to look at for long, not to mention the somewhat degrading characterizations of some countries. For anthropomorphic personifications of nations, I prefer Scandinavia and the World.
~Neshomeh
... to Kimihito Kurusu from Monster Musume.
And it's used as an excuse for hard vore.
... either that or Lily Potter being a necrophile interested in Dobby's corpse. *shudders* That's in Valon and Kala's fourth mission.
and by fun I mean head meeting the table frustrating and creepy.
I know I'm pretty much running the bashing of my old shame completely into the ground here, but that one replacement of mine was the first thing that came to mind - I'm pretty sure there are worse instances of derailment out there, but this was the most blatant I wrote personally.
For the uneducated, an online friend and I once co-authored a mega-crossover which included, among the long list of continua involved, The Incredibles and Jurassic Park, and the later chapters involved turning Violet (who's normally sweet, shy, insecure, and pretty snarky at times) into a ferocious mutant Tyrannosaurus with the abilities of camouflage, an impenetrable hide, and telepathic mind-speech. The last chapter of the fic before the epilogue actually had her outright ordering a villainous character replacement murdered, pun totally not intended, in cold blood.
The weirdest part? V-Wrex predated the Indominus rex by the better part of three years.
Did you base the name on the Vastatosaurus rex, by chance?
Speaking of which, how goes that King Kong mission? Personally, I recommend dumping her into the chasm and calling it a day.
And that mission probably won't happen for a while, partly due to Real Life and partly due to big plans for some of my agents. But I promise I'll get to it... eventually.
I've read that mission actually! Gosh that mission was a fun read. The original fanfic wasn't of course but the mission itself is great.
A murderous Violet really does make little sense,it's a good thing you realized that and pulled good ocs out of it. So many people I've seen don't realize it or shun criticism meant to help them.
And you aren't the only one with bad characterizations and bad megacrossovers.
Somewhere deep within gaia I have a megacrossover where mew mews are reborn as my favorite characters. I had it based on another gaia's users fanfic where sailor moon characters were reborn as other show main characters.
...into a Loli who dresses up like a Catholic schoolgirl. And then he gets magic surgery to become intersex and have Snape's babies. He also spends most of the fic depending on Snape to solve all his problems and he cries a lot.
I will never understand the whole pairing Harry with Snape thing. Even if it wasn't pedophilia it wouldn't make sense.