Subject: Good mission
Author:
Posted on: 2015-11-12 01:11:00 UTC
Not much to say in terms of commentary: this was a good mission, and good work showing off your characters' reactions to the fic.
But of course, no SOH176 reply would be complete without corrections, so:
1) [pokémon trainer the mini-Missingno] laughed mockingly. “That mean I win! Mini one, pony-girl zero!”
Ami is in human disguise in this mission, yes? Then how did the mini know that Ami is a pony?
The same issue appears later:
“Fairy-boy, why you steal Mommy’s pizza?” asked sliver conference.
2) poképurse the mini-Missingno: Minis are created via misspellings of canonical names. But you've made clear in this very mission that there's no such thing in canon as a "poképurse". Hence there should be no mini.
3) The agents were teleported to Wendi’s general area again, but thanks to a glaring word error, she entered not the tall grass at the center of the park, but the same generic forest.
What word error? I did not catch anything that would have implied that the Sue went anywhere but the National Park.
But that aside, good mission.