And I'm pretty sure...

Subject: And I'm pretty sure...
Author: Iximaz
Posted on: 2015-10-13 20:18:00 UTC

I wasn't a person who would sleep with anyone for free because it was the only way I could ever hope to get laid, or had an abusive home life, or was crazy about Tinker Bell to the point of obsession, or spent lunchtime sobbing in the bathroom stall (ONE TIME, PEOPLE, ONE TIME... okay, two or three, but still), and I certainly never got mauled to death by a vengeful ghost, but that didn't stop a girl in my class writing a character based on me like that. (Long story short, we had to write short stories to share with the class, and it was horrible.)

And the thing was? One of my friends thought the girl had written me pretty accurately. I didn't speak to her for three months because of it.

Tl;dr, while it's highly doubtful Harry Styles is a drug dealer with a supervillain girlfriend, there are still other aspects of his personality you might think you have right but are way off the mark.

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Badfic thread by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-12 14:41:00 UTC Reply

We haven't had one of these for a while, so I'll start it off with:

Oblivion -- A Sue with mutant invisibility powers stalks a character replacement of One Direction's Harry Styles who is not a pop star but a bookworm and drug dealer.

Boudin's Badfic 3: Electric Boogaloo by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-23 17:38:00 UTC Reply

This one is a series, so I'm just going to link the TV Tropes page: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/ThePrayerWarriors

This is... horrible. A bunch of godmodders go to different continua and 'purify' them (Read: Converting them to Christianity) or kill them because they're 'Satanic.'

If this isn't a trollfic, and I highly doubt it is, it's written by some ultra-right wing nut. If anyone wishes to spork this abomination, you're gonna need something powerful to take the godmodders. My personal suggestion? Portal them into Hell itself. They want to fight the Devil so bad? Let 'em try.

Ehhh. by Iximaz on 2015-10-23 18:39:00 UTC Reply

It certainly looks bad, but it's just like with Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles; yes, they're horrible, but there's so much emphasis placed on religion that you really can't spork it without treading on some toes. Best to just leave it alone.

I strongly disagree. by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-24 01:25:00 UTC Reply

The heroes captures a man, cut off all his limbs, blind him, but spare his life SPECIFICALLY SO HE CAN SUFFER WITHOUT KILLING HIM so he can repent. These are the f***ing characters we're suppose to ROOT FOR. That fic needs to BURN.

Badfic is badfic. You can spork things like this with one simple charge: Trying to shoehorn a religion into a continuum that does not focus on said religion. Anything involving prayer or things like that can simply be labeled uncanonical-religion is never mentioned in Harry Potter's world, for instance, so anything that would be considered out of the ordinary in World One would probably be unlikely there as well, considering that the Harry Potter continuum is essentially part of an otherwise identical universe to World One.

(Plus, we could just charge 'em for trying to shoehorn in a religion that has no place in the continuum in question.)

Furthermore, the "Prayer Warriors" are implied to be native to World One-they're Sues, and therefore, our problem. We're all in this to kill bad fan fiction: religion shouldn't get a free pass.

And finally, dibs on that HP fic. I think that it'll be a good way for me to start writing out Carnage as a character.

Sorry, this doesnÂ’t work by Hieronymus Graubart on 2015-10-26 11:23:00 UTC Reply
There is a church, and a Christmas service, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and although they have a Yule Ball in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the winter feast at Hogwarts is generally referred to as "Christmas". Also, since we apparently agree that the potterverse is just like World One unless stated otherwise, all kinds of Christian and non-Christian denominations exist there, including the ultra fanatics the Prayer Warriors are based upon. Thus, you cannot charge for "uncanonical-religion is never mentioned in Harry Potter's world", or for shoehorning something in that implicitly is already there (and probably one of the reasons for the International Statute of Secrecy).

Better pro-mission arguments would be:
- This version of Hogwarts needs to be burned strictly based on being an uncanonical straw-castle filled with pumpkin-headed straw-men. The actual dispute in which these straw-men are used doesn’t matter at all.
- The Department of Technical Errors could have a feast with this, without actually discussing the content (except internal continuity).
If you can restrain yourself, and are sufficiently skilled to write agnostic, genderless, alien agents who genuinely don’t understand misogyny and homophobia, don’t care to comment on the human’s beliefs, and leave judgement of anything that the Prayer Warriors claim to be commanded by their god (yes, that includes the cruel punishments that so upset you) to the Spanish Inquisition or whoever may feel fit to act as a scripture canon expert, you may be able to write a decent mission. But I’m not sure whether you would have fun doing it this way, and if you don’t have fun doing it and the community doesn’t want to see it done anyway, you better shouldn’t do it.

(Note: I’m agnostic, so this is none of my concerns, but the Spanish Inquisition might well have decided that claiming to be a prophet chatting with Jesus is blasphemous and that the heretic should be burned on the stake.)

HG (who MST’ed "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" in the 2014 badfic games, because that’s the place to where I take my Bad Ideas)
Um. No. by Iximaz on 2015-10-24 03:00:00 UTC Reply

Religion is just too touchy a subject to bring into mockery, even if you directly avoid mocking the religion itself. The badfic is just too entwined in the religious aspect to make it a target. Hands off. It's been noted in several places that we don't go there. I tried to claim Prayer and Miracles a while back and got told no for these exact reasons. Sorry.

Your attitude of "We're all in this to kill bad fan fiction: religion shouldn't get a free pass." comes uncomfortably close to violating the Constitution. Watch it. We're not going to bash a fic because we don't agree with the religious beliefs presented. No, not even if we don't like it. No, not even if it appears to be a troll. There's plenty of other badfic out there that you shouldn't need to go after the religious ones.

*sigh* Alright... *puts away pitchfork* by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-26 21:42:00 UTC Reply

Ah well, I do still have plenty of badfic for anyone to pick from!

My Little Raptor: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/123623/my-little-raptor
Some guy gets sent into Equestria as a Jurassic Park-style raptor. However, he apparently got there by touching a skeleton of a Velociraptor-a species that, as most of you know, was chicken-sized and covered in feathers. Besides that major paleontological screw-up, a bunch of bit character dinosaurs arrive as well, and all in all, it's just. So. BORING.

Redemption: Trixie's Revenge: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/64999/redeemption-trixies-revenge

Trixie gets command of an army of dinosaurs. Yes, really. Just by skimming the fic, it's obviously a trollfic: there is not one capital letter, run-on sentences are everywhere-someone needs to take this down, and quickly.

Mistress-do-Well: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/134240/mistress-do-well
What is this I don't even. Just... get Bleeprin if you mission this. You'll need it.

The Untameable King: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/272821/the-untamable-king
An Indominus Rex, which is somehow living in the prehistoric past when it was genetically engineered, is frozen in ice and reawakens in Equestra. Besides that idiotic concept, there's tons of beige prose, and I'm pretty sure that at least one mini of the word 'dinosaur' was created in the very first chapter. Stand aside, ladies and gents: this one's mine!

My Life With Ponies: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/155784/my-life-with-ponies
A Gary Stu dinosaur of a completely new species has somehow been living in the Everfree Forest undetected for over 1,000 years, and has somehow adopted two changeling children. Yes, really. Taking this bastard down's gonna be difficult: he can apparently use some kind of radar to detect creatures. Again, I'm going to be sporking this fic, and anyone who wants to beta it just needs to email me.

Twilight's Dollhouse: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/91302/twilights-dollhouse
Twilight gets depressed that she's going to outlive all her friends. So she does the natural thing-turn them all into animated dolls against their will by poisoning them! This is on the same level of messed-up as Cupcakes, and believe you me, it will meet the same fate.

No. by To The Scapemobile! on 2015-10-24 02:22:00 UTC Reply

You are flat-out wrong about this. Religion in badfic is a far more complicated question than you seem prepared to acknowledge. I do think you can have a mission to a not!Christian badfic when the stars align correctly (Brewdening Love would be my pick if pushed), but your views make me ashamed to be on even vaguely the same side as you.

Also, bear in mind that Permission Get! usually takes a few goes, and having seen a few of your requests over the years? It's hardly a foregone conclusion you're going to get it. Especially on the strength of your post here. If you think we're writing missions because the badfic has to die, then you've missed the point so badly your bullet ain't even on the same planet.

I used to be and feel like you. I got better, for the most part. I'm sure you will too, given time.

Out of line, Scape. by Iximaz on 2015-10-24 03:01:00 UTC Reply

Your post was extremely rude and condescending, and the comment about GB not getting Permission was especially unnecessary. I think you owe an apology.

Yeah, not had a good day. by To The Scapemobile! on 2015-10-24 04:20:00 UTC Reply

That doesn't excuse anything, though. I'm sorry for laying into GB.

Whoops by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-24 01:26:00 UTC Reply

Sorry about the redundancy. I didn't notice it until I posted the reply.

Note by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-23 17:39:00 UTC Reply

By "I highly doubt it is", I mean that I highly doubt it isn't a trollfic. Just a clearup for anyone who gets confused by the wording.

Even more badfic! by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-20 00:56:00 UTC Reply

My Little Pony: Kaiju Rumble (MLP:FIM/Godzilla): http://www.fimfiction.net/story/161705/my-little-pony-kaiju-rumble
Twilight somehow nearly dies in the events of 'A Canterlot Wedding,' and is granted the powers of Destoroyah, Godzilla, and Spacegodzilla for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Suffice to say, she's replaced. Kill it with Oxygen Destroyers. (Actually, that's not a bad idea..)

Equestrias Tyrannosaurus Rex: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/194631/equestrias-tyrannosaurus-rex
A talking T-rex gets sent to Equestria. Other than that ridiculous premise, the wording and formatting is awful, and the canonical characters are pretty out of shape, too.
Here you guys go! by GlarnBoudin on 2015-10-17 20:04:00 UTC Reply

Rise of Tyrannobeast: http://archive.primalcarnage.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=3268
Probably the only Primal Carnage badfic in existence, this was basically the result of an awful writer putting up a crappy story and getting the living hell trolled out of him. The Stu is... actually rather plain-A T. rex with Giganotosaurus arms. But he's the least of your worries: OCs are EVERYWHERE, the English language is totally butchered, and there's a ton on non-canon events going on.

For you, Mother: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/152312/for-you-mother
Derpy gets executed for some reason, so Dinky somehow gets imbued with dark magic and starts brutally murdering ponies. Spelling and grammar are all right, but Dinky-Sue is just... horrifying. Bring anti-magic and Bleep products. You'll need 'em.

Transformed: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7513938/1/Transformed
Rainbow Dash turns into a carnivorous pony-dragon hybrid, going on a murderous rampage and devouring ponies. Pinkie also goes psycho, and the two somehow fall in love. Also, there's a monster hunter pony OC who needs to be dealt with, too.

The Quest for the Holey Grail: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7984354/1/The-Quest-for-the-Holey-Grail
This is, without a doubt, the WORST fanfic I have ever seen. You guys remember my idea for alternate mini types a while back? This... thing is why I suggested it-to make the swarm of creatures that will result from this a bit more fun to write. Characters are thrown together with no explanation, grammar is thrown in the trash, and absolutely nothing makes sense. *Breathes* Don't go into this alone. You NEED help for it.
Here are a few I found a short while ago. by SkarmorySilver on 2015-10-13 22:02:00 UTC Reply

"Avatar: The Legend of Keyx Book 1: Earth" - Orphaned at a young age and forced by an evil overlord to fend for himself, Keyx, a human boy, must overcome obstacles and find his destiny to protect his new friends on their journey to save the world... The first chapter is hard to get through but if you give it a chance it gets good as you go on. Somewhat lore friendly, i tried to make it merge into the world, sorry if it doesnt
Apparently, this is a sort of sequel series to both AtLA and LoK. With elves. And talking animals. And bad grammar.

"Five Nights At Freddy's OC x Animatronics" (NSFW, NSFB) - Tyler's job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza was scary but exciting... [NOT FINISHED]
Bonnie rapes the main character. In the first chapter. And it only gets worse from there.

"Naruto Life as a Host Family" - Naruto after leaving with Jiraiya uses an old seal to travel to the world of Monster Musume No Iru Nichijou where he becomes the host family for the girls, while continuing his training to defeat the Akatsuki and bring Sasuke back.
So basically, Naruto gets Kimihito's personality and replaces him in a retelling of Monster Musume - and does a host of irrelevant things besides. Also, questionable SPaG. Voyd and I are planning to tackle this one personally, btw!

"Breakdown" - Dixie tries to bring together Krocodile isle and DK island. But is brutally murdered. Tiny doesn't take the death well. She move back to her birth island where she meets someone she never expected to see again. (BEING REDONE)
And the murderers are three female Kremling OCs. Make of it what you will.

I don't know any of those 'verses... by Tawaki on 2015-10-15 19:56:00 UTC Reply

...but that second one... Kill it with ~~fire~~ dioxygen difluoride!

My contribution. by James Shields on 2015-10-13 18:44:00 UTC Reply

DW gets hauled off to the mental institution

Okay, I know anyone who is even slightly familiar with D.W. from Arthur is really annoyed by her behavior and the fact that her parents never seem to punished her for ANYTHING, but this is simply insane.

It's two paragraph long, but it definitely should have way more paragraphs, seeing as the first one is a HUGE block of text and the second one also is, though to a lesser degree.

Then there is the D.W. bashing. Even taking in account just how annoying she is, it is far too much. And why the hay is Arthur recording D.W. to "humilhate her in front of the entire city"? She may be his annoying little sister, one that gets way with far too much, but she is his little sister nonetheless, and there enough tender moments between the two in the show to prove that they do love each other despite their quarrels.

Then there is the disproportional retribution of D.W. taking to her imaginary friend, mouthing off the Tibbles and Buster and throwing a tantrum (a.k.a somewhat normal behavior for a FIVE year old), and then being promptly called a psychopath and crazy. Not only that but she actually gets sent to a mental institution, as the title blantantly says.

Oh, and Arthur also uses Glaurunging chloroform to knock her out. Yeah.
Re: Badfic thread by Tawaki on 2015-10-13 15:32:00 UTC Reply

Children of the Luck Dragon and the Moon > By: Braveheart2015
Are you ready for high school? Nicky, Stella and Bella are!
My Little Pony - Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,237 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: Sep 25 - Published: Sep 3 - Status: Complete - id: 11486659

My comment: What the h₁éḱwos am I reading here?

Know thy audience, Tawaki. (nm) by dramaticsoprano on 2015-10-17 02:00:00 UTC Reply
What language did you just cuss in? (nm) by eatpraylove on 2015-10-15 02:13:00 UTC Reply

That wasn't actually cussing, but an egghead!pony pun by Tawaki on 2015-10-15 19:50:00 UTC Reply

That's one of several Proto-Indo-European words for horse.

One idly wonders... by Scapegrace on 2015-10-16 08:47:00 UTC Reply

What the PIE for "Pinkie" would be. =]

Be aware... by Desdendelle on 2015-10-12 20:49:00 UTC Reply

That we don't mission RPF any more.

But is it forbidden? by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-12 21:45:00 UTC Reply

Or is it just that no-one's interested in writing missions for RPF anymore? The wiki doesn't explain why it stopped.

Either way, I know I'd love to read some more RPF missions. Badly done Real Person Fics are so much much worse than other forms of badfic. They really, really need to be dealt with! And the results are very satisfying to read afterwards.

IIRC... by Desdendelle on 2015-10-12 22:05:00 UTC Reply

It is verboten, but I don't remember why. Probably has to do with the fact that those are, y'know, real people.

Yeah, OK. by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-12 23:14:00 UTC Reply

In that case, have a Harry Potter fic from the same site instead. (I don't normally look at HP stuff, but it was linked from the sidebar of the RPF.)

Anyway, to quote the Author's Note: "So I have always liked James and there were hardley any fanfics about him because ether everyone loved him with Lily or they thought that they would ruin the series. BUT I decided WHY not."

Uh, probably because it means breaking up James and Lily, and ruining the series. That's why not! The clue was in the bit that mentioned breaking up James and Lily, and ruining the series.

This Sue is a Metamorphagus, and a straight A student, top of the class in several subjects, with speshul hair and eye colours, and speshul air and water control powers, is "skilled in legitimacy and occulmacy", and owns a telepathic phoenix!

The Author's Note adds: "(If I make her sound perfect tell me)." But I don't think this Suethor would pay any attention if we did...

I don't know enough about HP by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-13 20:16:00 UTC Reply

...to trust myself to give concrit without flaming.

I can see how the story's wrong, but don't know enough to suggest how to put it right.
At least you should try by son_of_heaven176 on 2015-10-13 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Who knows? She might listen. I once ran across a Bakugan badfic that I would have posted on this very Board, but I reached out to the author, and lo and behold! she was receptive to concrit.

Don't remember it being banned. by Huinesoron on 2015-10-12 22:10:00 UTC Reply

But if it is, that's the reason. Somewhere between 'writing stories about real people is kinda squicky even if you're trying to "protect" them' and 'isn't saying whether a real person is OOC kind of really judgemental?'.

(The only memory I have of the subject coming up was, I believe, this conversation - someone asks if it's banned, Desdendelle says yes, I say 'I don't remember that!'. It's a funny old world.)

hS

Speaking as someone who has had RPF written about them... by Iximaz on 2015-10-13 13:55:00 UTC Reply

It is very painful to see, hear, and/or listen to. Especially when the person who wrote it is convinced that everything they wrote is true.

Even if you go into RPF with the best intentions, you gotta remember: in fiction, you're able to get directly inside the characters' heads. In real life, you don't have that advantage. Heck, I had some real life 'friends' who thought the story my classmate wrote about me was true, and they supposedly knew me better than anyone.

Just my two cents, but I think we ought to stay away from it, because the only person who would really be able to call what's OOC would be the real people themselves. Otherwise, you can end up being even more wrong than the fic.

Good points, but... by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-13 20:06:00 UTC Reply

...for the fic I linked to, I think we can be sure that Harry Styles isn't an American drug dealer, and he doesn't have a mutant superpowered stalker/girlfriend.

We don't need to get inside his head to know that!

And I'm pretty sure... by Iximaz on 2015-10-13 20:18:00 UTC Reply

I wasn't a person who would sleep with anyone for free because it was the only way I could ever hope to get laid, or had an abusive home life, or was crazy about Tinker Bell to the point of obsession, or spent lunchtime sobbing in the bathroom stall (ONE TIME, PEOPLE, ONE TIME... okay, two or three, but still), and I certainly never got mauled to death by a vengeful ghost, but that didn't stop a girl in my class writing a character based on me like that. (Long story short, we had to write short stories to share with the class, and it was horrible.)

And the thing was? One of my friends thought the girl had written me pretty accurately. I didn't speak to her for three months because of it.

Tl;dr, while it's highly doubtful Harry Styles is a drug dealer with a supervillain girlfriend, there are still other aspects of his personality you might think you have right but are way off the mark.

My sympathies. by Sergio Turbo on 2015-10-14 15:16:00 UTC Reply

I know what it means to go through this kind of stuff. I know very well.

My middle-school years were hell.
Ouch! I am sorry you had to go throught that. *hugs* by James Shields on 2015-10-14 03:28:00 UTC Reply

I will never understand why some people will go out of their way to hurt others like that. I never had RPF written about me, but I do unfortunately know what is like to be made fun of for ridiculous reasons.
No one should ever have to live throught something like that. My heart goes out to you. *glomps*
(*hugs*) That sounds horrible. by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-13 22:05:00 UTC Reply

I'm sorry you had to go through something as awful as that. It can't have been easy for you, especially when the girl shared it with the whole class. (I hope the teacher had something to say to her afterwards!)

Oh, the teacher had something to say to her, alright. by Iximaz on 2015-10-13 22:09:00 UTC Reply

"What a creative story! It was spooky; a very nice horror story. If anyone writes something better, I'll be very surprised." ...yeah, she was the teacher's very obvious favorite.

Meanwhile, I got told to make my story about a dragon getting trapped as a human 'more original'.

What!?! That should not be allowed! by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-10-13 23:59:00 UTC Reply

That teacher was way out of order!

(*more hugs*)
Tell me who these human sharts are. by To The Scapemobile. on 2015-10-13 23:05:00 UTC Reply

I have a mighty need to turn these bags of solid misery into something resembling melted burger meat. Not that I am at all sarcastic.

... Today on "Drunkgrace Posting"... (nm) by Scapegrace on 2015-10-14 15:00:00 UTC Reply

Ducking hell. by Hardric on 2015-10-13 22:23:00 UTC Reply

I mean seriously? Your teacher was a Twitard cultist, wasn't she? I mean, the way you're describing this, that girl was just getting at you for the hell of it through a ridiculous story, and she just gave her her blessing like it was nothing.

You really got hit the with the spiky end of the stick here, sorry for you.

Eh, wasn't the worst thing ever. by Iximaz on 2015-10-13 22:25:00 UTC Reply

Won't go into all the gory details.

Anyway, yeah. So that's why I don't like RPF. Even if it's not written maliciously like the one about me was, and even if the person sporking it has the best intentions, it's possible to be wildly off in your assessment of what a real person would do in certain situations.

Yeah. by JulyFlame on 2015-10-13 13:15:00 UTC Reply

They aren't explicitly banned, it's just not a thing we do any more in general, because like mentioned, it's kinda squicky.

The last missions involving RPF were written by Trojie, and I remember her sidestepping most of those issues pretty carefully, but they're still there and very easy to trip into facefirst. Especially with something like fics that'd go to DBS.
And then I jump in with my by doctorlit on 2015-10-13 02:20:00 UTC Reply

"I also remember these conversations, but don't know the origin and would totally love if the unofficial ban were lifted because it would add potential variety to my everyone's spinoff."

If the community agrees. >_>

I've got some suggestions to add. by Hardric on 2015-10-12 19:45:00 UTC Reply

Both of them deal with the Dresdenverse, and the first one is a crossover :

- " Blurred Lines". A crossover with Twilight, featuring a Stu Warden, and a cheap imitation of Dresden, is going to his new assignment in the North-West. I only read the first chapter for now, but it's already a train wreck all around.

- "WhatYouWishFor". It could have been a good idea, showing the first time Harry worked with the police of Chicago, but this story goes just as well as the title suggests.

P.S. : If it's not inconvenient, could I get other Boarders' opinions about the second one, please? I'm thinking about picking this one when I'll try to get Permission.
RE: Badfic thread by eatpraylove on 2015-10-12 15:28:00 UTC Reply

Yikes. Real Person Fic is weird enough already without the whole mutant thing.

I have a contribution of my own. This used to be on Unclaimed back before I did my epic cleanup (which might be due soon again...), and since it wasn't deleted I preserved the information in OneNote. So here it is again, "Vongola XI: Our lives". Whoever first posted it said it best:
Let's see... She's the daughter of the Decimo, which is Tsunayoshi Sawada. She is as strong as her father, and oh look, she also has guardians that are either the son or daughter of one of Tsunayoshi's guardians.

Oh, and does anybody have a one-shot they can recommend for a first MST?

I think I got one. by James Shields on 2015-10-13 03:47:00 UTC Reply

Rini's Horrible Death. It's two chapters long and Bleepfic levels of awful. It's also my new target badfic, BTW, but this thing deserves to be taken down in every way possible, so please go for it!