Subject: More errors.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-10-04 04:15:00 UTC

Womb Raider

1) “Don’t disguises always change your outfits? And your species too every now and then.”
Punctuation errors. Consider this: “Don’t disguises always change your outfits? And your species, too, every now and then?

2) He did so albeit rather reluctantly, ultimately asking about her research instead of confessing his true feelings to her.
Missing comma before "albeit".

3)The agents scrambled for cover behind some random stalactites and watched them struggle.
So the agents can walk on ceilings? If not, the word you're looking for is "stalagmites." Remember: "C" for ceiling (stalactite); "G" for ground (stalagmite).

4) “unsafe bondage removal method i.e. risk of accidental immolation”
Missing commas: “unsafe bondage removal method, i.e., risk of accidental immolation”

5) “Is nearly being impaled by those things a commonplace work hazard?” asked Backslash, glancing nervously at her line turned makeshift javelin.
Missing hyphens: "glancing nervously at her line-turned-makeshift javelin"

That aside, that was a very interesting mission. It was certainly better written than the badfic!

Reply Return to messages