Subject: From the Minister of Distressing Statistics...
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-24 19:14:00 UTC

Prime Minister,

Let us not mince words. We are on the verge of a major economic crisis. My analysts (the ones who are either not fleeing the country with all of their money or currently standing on a ledge outside the building) have predicted a 79 percent chance that the country will default on its loans over the next year. We must find a way to reinvigorate our GDP without further spending ourselves into debt. My suggestions will not be popular, but we have some popularity to spare.

1) Make cuts to several of our largest programs, those being social programs and the military. I'm not suggesting to gut them, but we have to tighten our belts a little bit.

2) Fractionally lower the capital gains tax and corporate tax rates. Businesses are not investing, and we're going to need to give them some incentives to do so again.

3) Consider making hard drugs illegal again, or at the very least restricted. I know that flip-flopping is seen as a major political sin, but so far the negatives for this policy are outweighing the potential positives. We've lost the support of parents and damaged our nation's health, and for what? Some support from the liberals and about 1.5 billion in revenue?

Yours sincerely,
PoorCynic, MoDS

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