I don't know why this is surprising to me, but it is.

I don't know. Something about you, Granz, just made me assume that you were some kind of ethereal, birthday-less entity, who has always existed and always will.
Well, that's clearly not true, now, is it?
What a dope I must be, to believe that, eh?
Happy birthday, Granz, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your eternal existence.

My gift upon you is: very long lived cheese.
So it won't go off, even if you don't like cheese and never eat it.

Happy birthdaaaaaaay!

Many happy returns, etc.