Subject: Bloody. Good.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-01-02 02:00:00 UTC

I do recall you, at some point, mentioning that the idea of the PPC was for a focus on the characters - sort've making stories about them, around the missions. You've done an awesome job at it, seriously. I love how you used that wraith, and that final big important bit relating to the Notary that I won't spoil because it's very good is. Er. Very good. The delivery of that flashback, mate. That delivery.
I dunno, your characters are remarkably relatable (or likable, or whatever, at least), especially for what they, technically speaking, are, and, that's certainly a point in your favour, oy? What we ought to be doing, especially in a setting as outlandish as the PPC.

Your handling of Luna, too, was bloody great. It's pretty rare that we get such an insight into how the canons feel during badfic and, even though I'm not at all aware of her character, or anything at all ever about MLP, I did feel genuinely sorry/horrified for her.

Er. Criticisms?
Well, I suppose that one bit, near the start, where they were sort've panicked, trying to escape that first person segment, ended oddly. It built up suspense well, and was a great way of establishing who's familiar with the continua, and whatnot. The build-up was well done, I just feel that the final escape - 'the RA beeped a few times and allowed them to portal to relative safety' is written a bit too vague, y'know? I feel like with that sort of event - the end of all the build-up - ought to be more punchy, y'know? More gritty and specific, as opposed to vague, and such.
But, you know. That's essentially nitpicking, at this point.

You have also taught me what pronking is, for which I am very glad.

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