Subject: I'm sorry, but you're completely wrong
Author:
Posted on: 2016-11-24 03:44:00 UTC
The best character was clearly the Bowtruckle.
But yeah, the movie was brilliant. Easily the best Harry Potter movie, though the fact that I didn't have a book to compare it to helped. Also Newt the Bowtruckle was very cute and obviously needed cuddles. >.>
Iximaz: Okay, I just want to start this off by saying I FRIGGIN' CALLED IT.
Aegis: Well of course you called it, you've been talking with the walking spoiler. And you still fell for the red herring.
Iximaz: Oh, shut up, you did too.
Aegis: DID NOT!
Iximaz: DID TOO.
Aegis: DID NOT, slander and calumny! Well, maybe a bit, but only for five minutes or so. Besides, around now people reading this probably haven't the slightest idea what we're talking about.
Iximaz: Fine, fine. We'll get on with the review. As a fair warning, spoilers ahead.
AHEM.
...
...
...
Oh my god, you guys, I can't believe they killed the niffler.
Aegis: Well, the reveal that it was actually Dumbledore more than made up for it. By now, the audience has probably gathered that we are, in fact, kidding. But if you don't want spoilers, leave now.
Iximaz: Okay, for real, you guys: I loved this movie. I can't say it enough. It was almost good enough to make up for the Cursed Child fiasco because nothing can really make up for that mess of a glorified fanfic NO I'M NOT STILL MAD ABOUT THAT. The humor was spot-on, the characters were likeable especially the niffler he was the best, the plot was engaging, and I had the stupidest grin on my face the whole time I was watching it. Almost nothing but overwhelming praise for it.
Aegis: Aw, now I can't fanboy over it. Hmm. I suppose the best place to start would be the format. Shush, Ix, I'm not talking about the niffler. You can do that. Something to note is that we both saw this in 3D, and it was worth it. There are several moments that are extremely immersive. A few even made me flinch, and the Apparition may well give you motion sickness- it's THAT cool.
Iximaz: Oh, yeah, the Apparation was really cool, especially how much it was used in the final showdown; it makes sense, considering they were both practiced wizards instead of students. BUT OKAY, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE OBSCURUS AND MY THEORY ABOUT ARIANA?
Aegis: No. We can't. Mostly because I agreed with it. Go on and explain.
Iximaz: Okay, for those of you who for whatever reason haven't seen the movie yet but want the spoilers anyway, an Obscurus is a dark force of magic that is created in young wizards when their magic is deliberately suppressed though constant abuse (theory as to why this didn't happen to Harry: the Dursleys only neglected him, never forcibly squashed his magic outbursts). *puts on tinfoil hat* Ariana Dumbledore, after her encounter with the Muggle boys who beat her, was kept locked up in the house and it was implied that Kendra Dumbledore abused her children, but that didn't prevent Ariana's now-damaged magic from randomly bursting out at times. What if Grindelwald first found out about Obscurials through Ariana before she was killed, because she was slowly turning into one? *removes tinfoil hat*
Aegis: Oh, go ahead and spoil the whole thing, why don't you! For those of you who don't know, there was a long-standing rumor that Grindelwald would be appearing. When it was announced that Johnny Depp would be portraying the wizard, and would be making an appearance in this film, the rumors flew thicker and faster than Dementors chasing Harry Potter that Grindelwald was a lot closer than most people believed. In fact, he was Graves. And, at long last, those rumors can finally be. . .
. . .
Confirmed! When Graves gives Credence a token to call him with- a token in the form of Grindelwald's logo? Both Ix and I got funny looks from the entire audience from the palpable squeeing. Dark wizard pimp aside, it was awesome.
Iximaz: ...Yeah, he totally looked like a wizard pimp and not Dumbledore's archnemesis. Which was a tad disappointing. But I still totally called what happened with Graves! HA! *clears throat* Anyway, the only major complaint I have about the movie is the resolution. Because frankly... that was kind of stupid.
Aegis: Oh, you mean the bit where the Thunderbird made venom rain over New York? Venom which failed to make contact with the majority of the populace, by virtue of their being indoors like EVERY SINGLE NEW YORKER, and ensuring that half of the Muggle- sorry, "No-Maj" population now recall an Obscurus wreaking havoc and devastation over all of New York? Yeah, that bit was moronic. However, it did make an interesting point when it noted that Muggle physiology differed from magic physiology, enough that the venom affected only the Muggle population. Just so long as they don't end up using Midichlorians, I'll be fine with it.
Iximaz: I still think they would've been better off calling in the Men in Black.
Aegis: Makes you wonder why they started off with a perfectly good shot of the Statue of Liberty if they didn't want to switch her torch with a neuralyzer, really.
Iximaz: But anyway, stupid resolution aside, the rest of the movie was... fantastic.
Aegis: *is too busy facepalming to respond at the moment*
Iximaz: >:) Alright, alright, joking aside, it really was a good movie; while I can understand why some people might not like the "gotta catch 'em all" vibe it had going, I think it was well-done and I loved seeing all the creatures in the book (and then some!) come to life on the big screen. It definitely would've been hard to convey just how cool they were in writing.
Aegis: Yep, I agree on pretty much all counts, though the Occamy tempts me to try. Those things were gorgeous. I have to say, it doesn't come off as a "gotta catch 'em all" premise. There's a nice emphasis placed on the political thriller aspect- namely, Grindelwald's rise to power, and on character development for our stars. Seeing the Eleventh Doctor with a TARDIS trunk was extremely amusing, even if he was posing as Newt Scamander.
Iximaz: Not to hate on Redmayne, but I just kept seeing Matt Smith in his performance. Which was pretty good, I gotta say. ^^; He was adorkable and basically everything a Hufflepuff should be.
Aegis: Makes him perfect for a "gotta catch 'em all" protagonist. Nobody else would be able to make the spot checks.
Iximaz: Especially for that niffler. Which was, hands-down, the best character. Any of you who say otherwise are wrong.
Aegis: *preferred the Occamy* Occamy are cool.
Iximaz: Except when you somehow manage to lob a cockroach across a room into a tiny little teapot to trap said Occamy.
Aegis: Honestly, I have no idea how it was even surviving on said cockroaches when it was the size of an apartment, but you've gotta admit, the giant blue serpent with shining scales was gorgeous. Not to mention a dead ringer for Quetzalcoatl.
foofooman3: One thing I have to ask: Grindelwald, the most powerful Dark wizard of the age, defeated over fifty aurors single-handedly but was taken out by a nerd with a bat?
Iximaz: Pff, pretty much. So, final verdict: 9/10 stars. Take one off for the ending. Otherwise: awesome movie and definitely worth the ticket money. I can't wait to see it again.
Aegis: More than worth the ticket movie. Overall, it was the best Pokemon story featuring the Doctor as a protagonist against a backdrop of Palpatine the Pimp's rise to power that I have ever seen. 8/10, would see again. One star for the ineffectual ending, one star for the arbitrary nature of the Obliviation of Jacob Kowalski. Seriously, Newt drops the case at his feat filled with silver eggshells that have obviously hatched, claims that they come from a magical creature, and this presents no problem. And yet his love interest walks in and suddenly he remembers everything?
*raises skeptical eyebrow*
Er, right. Ix says shut up, so I'll just go then, shall I?
Because no one is bringing up the parts I thought were important! (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS ahead!)
Sometimes, rarely, I latch onto a character and see every scene from their point of view. I reflexively invent a running commentary of their thoughts and feelings. While watching this movie, this happened to me. . . with Credence. You can imagine how upset I am.
I think it's totally amazing that this character, mentally ill as the result of trauma, isn't just a danger that had to be stopped. He has hopes and dreams and people he cares about. And the GREATEST THING EVER is that when the team from MACUSA comes to shoot him down, they look needlessly violent: our heroes were well on their way to talking him down. They could have calmed him, gotten him into treatment (not that they were likely to have any decent mental health treatment in this time period, but this time period didn't have Nifflers either) -- his death was a preventable tragedy stemming from governmental over-reliance on militarized law enforcement.
And this happens in real life.
And all those kids I saw in the audience will hopefully internalize that Credence didn't need to die and grow up and make the world a better place.
Who knows, maybe that's all a load of dingo's kidneys. But it might not be and that makes me hopeful.
So yeah, the only character I was seriously invested in probably won't be showing up again. And there seems to be little chance of Newt/Jacob happening (although it NEEDS TO), so I'm not likely to watch the rest of the movies.
Other things: my mom is a total nerd about Jewish New York history, and she pointed out that if Jacob Kowalski is living on Orchard Street, he should probably be Jewish, but his last name isn't a Jewish last name. However, Tina and Queenie are Goldsteins, a very Jewish last name, and it's kind of weird that Queenie is blonde. Basically, I want more of their family history.
Although maybe I don't, considering how adeptly their family history is handled in the movie. Could anyone tell what Tina's relationship to Credence and the New Salem-ers was? I was confused, as were the two people I watched the movie with and the two people I asked afterwards. . . help!
One last point: if MACUSA is apparently progressive enough to elect an African-American woman president, why is she the only POC in a position of any power? The only others in the entire movie: foreign diplomats (different governments, don't count), a nurse/executioner (who didn't seem to give orders, just to carry out her particular job), and. . . no, wait, I think that's it. All the Saints and the donkeys they rode in on.
--Key has been taking an African-American Film History class and may never be able to watch mainstream movies again.
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Perhaps you didn't notice—it was a real blink-and-you'll-miss-it little moment—but there WAS a hint that some part of Credence survived. A little scrap of fiery shadow stuff was seen escaping out of the subway by what seemed to be its own power. Newt noticed it, but of course didn't let on. So, there might be hope! Though, if he does come back, who knows what kind of shape he'll be in mentally, physically, etc.
And I did approve of how they portrayed Credence's completely unnecessary fate, too, just not in a way I could've articulated nearly as well as you did. {= )
~Neshomeh
And sweet Djel, you're right. I did see that. I just couldn't believe my eyes...
I suppose I've got to see the next one, then! :P
--Key
The best character was clearly the Bowtruckle.
But yeah, the movie was brilliant. Easily the best Harry Potter movie, though the fact that I didn't have a book to compare it to helped. Also Newt the Bowtruckle was very cute and obviously needed cuddles. >.>
Yaaay, we saw the movie today, so I don't have to worry about spoilers anymore! But you might, so caution reading ahead. {= )
Anyway, yeah. I liked it. It was fun. For me it was just good, though, not great. It had a lot of really good stuff going for it, but I think it was trying to do just a little bit more than the run time allowed for. I really would have liked to get more in-depth with the characters—Barebone and the New Salemers felt especially shafted to me. Like... who even is that lady? Why does she hate witches/wizards so much? Why is she such a bitch? Maybe there were explanatory details that I missed, but that's kind of my point: I would've liked a little more time to expand on these things.
I also wanted more information about all the marvelous creatures we got to meet so briefly. I honestly wouldn't have minded more romping around New York catching escaped beasties. We could have done something new instead of going after the niffler a second time, even. Yeah, he was adorable, but still.
I'm not entirely clear on what the heck Grindelwald was doing there, either. Not in New York in general, I totally get that he showed up because of the Obscurial and that he probably knew a thing or two about them thanks to Arianna, but how was he able to get into what looked like a fairly high position in MACUSA coming fresh from causing mayhem over in Germany (if it was Germany)? Was there a real Graves whose place he took, or what? And why did he go to all the trouble himself? Does Grindelwald work alone, or does he have followers who might have gone in his place? Inquiring Minds Want To Know!
Also, I love Jacob and I think it's totally bogus that he got himself neuralyzed Obliviated at the end. Did he decide he'd gotten in over his head? Was he worried about making trouble for his new friends? I don't know! We didn't have nearly enough time to get to know him, and I'mma pout about it. Hmph.
Just... so many questions. o.o Hopefully the next movie will answer some of them.
~Neshomeh
Grindelwald killed the real Graves and took over his position, apparently.
I guess I kind of overlooked the rest because my brain filled in information from the Magic In North America pieces and the Fantastic Beasts book, so I didn't even realize there was a lack of exposition in those facts. ^^;
I'm sure we'll be seeing Jacob next time, what with Queenie showing up at the end and all. Fingers crossed; I really liked his character, too.
Jacob will be back, I'm sure. And he remembers most of it too. Keep this in mind: the venom removes bad memories. For the vast majority of the muggles, they were either terrified or unaware of the magic going on. But Jacob was having the time of his life, for most of it. There were moments of terror, removed, adding to the idea that it was all a dream. But the rest of it? The best moments of his life.
Phobos said the same thing; I just forgot to mention it.
Side-note: Bleeprin is made from aspirin and brain bleach, right? And Swooping Evil venom is basically brain bleach that erases only bad memories, right?? So there's actually a canonical Potterverse substance that would make perfect bloody sense as one of the two active ingredients in Bleeprin, which I remind you is manufactured at the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy???
This is my new headcanon, and you can't stop me. ^_^
~Neshomeh
What if Neville remembered, in some primal way, what happened to his parents? What if he was dosed up on the fruits of Newt's labours sixty-odd years down the line? What if he was adversely affected by the potion? What if that's at the root of his short-term memory problems?
It's a new way to wipe memories isn't it? And it can cover a city the size of New York so that is always helpful.
I totally agree though the movie was good. I'm so glad Jacob Kowalski didn't end up the bumbling one note comic relief like I feared.
The reveal of Grindenwald actually surprised me, and I got the feeling that he allowed himself to be captured. After all, he probably is capable of wandless magic.
Also, I like how the ending with Jacob hinted that he did remember something, probably with the help of Queenie.
And yeah, MACUSA won't be able to keep him for long... should be fun seeing him break out.