Subject: 75 missions!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-10-25 17:08:00 UTC
Ix and Charlotte provide some constructive criticism to a Peter and the Starcatchers OC.
Short mission, I know, but it was also a short fic. I'm a bit nervous if the length affected how well I was able to tell the story, so concrit would be really appreciated.
I liked the fact this mission staged more scenes between Ix and Lottie, and I'll admit that I find refreshing to see an ending where death of a glitterbag isn't involved, or rather a scene where there is hope that there won't be a glitterbag at the end.
And... I'm curious about that last scene. I don't know this fandom, so I'll admit that in the dark here.
Like Ix said, They certainly got the part about what else starstuff does to you—the floating, the happiness, the sounds, potential immortality and permanent flight—right.
In Peter and the Starcatchers, Peter gained the ability to fly and never age because he handled a trunk full of leaking starstuff. The overexposure (allegedly) made him the way he is in Peter Pan (though PatSc is more like an AU prequel of the book than anything).
Aside from flight and immortality, starstuff can turn birds into fairies and fish into merpeople. It also mutated a salamander into some sort of giant creature that escaped into Loch Ness. Along with that, it can also grant people enhanced strength and senses, be used to power rockets... basically, it's the Deus Ex Machina to end Dei Ex Machina.
I’m fond of the short form. If there isn’t much to say, there’s no need to drag it out. Also it’s good to get an occasional reminder that not all OC’s need to be killed.
Ix and Charlotte’s mutual affection feels more balanced in this and the previous mission than it had been in the last Harry Potter mission. I think you have it right now. (I wonder whether being in her home continuum might have affected Ix negatively.)
And we got a nice cliffhanger. Will Ix be cured permanently, or does Starstuff only work in the Starcatchers universe?
Keep up the good work.
HG, who didn’t find errors, but wanted to comment anyway.
I have to say, I envy Ix's access to PPC technology...
Overall, I thought the mission was good, and it's nice to see a more constructive approach to PPC missioning, as well as an affirmation that not all OCs are Sues. The only real criticism I have is that the ending seems like a bit sudden, especially if you're not familiar with the canon. Maybe an earlier mention of what starstuff does would be helpful for those of us who are unfamiliar with it?
I'm trying to see where I could possibly fit in a mention of what starstuff does without turning it into an "as you know" approach. I did kind of think this was enough, though:
“Aside from ignoring the part where handling starstuff with your bare hands is a Bad Idea, it seems like this author’s pretty familiar with the canon, from what little we’ve seen,” Ix agreed, nodding. “They certainly got the part about what else starstuff does to you—the floating, the happiness, the sounds, potential immortality and permanent flight—right. And I suppose if they were going to later show Kiki had similar ancestry to Peter, then her being able to handle it might be excusable. Maybe.”
Unless you think there's more that could be included?
Maybe just drop in a mention of it healing any disease or injury? I guess I just didn't jump from that to "it'll cure lycanthropy."