Subject: *pats Lily comfortingly on the shoulder*
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-28 02:12:00 UTC
I feel your pain. I've only read the first two chapters and it's already horrid. Have some Bleeprin mixed into that tea.
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I have gone to the Circle of Lemmings... by
on 2012-11-23 00:04:00 UTC
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And I return with a fic that is begging to be PPC'd.
(Okay so this is by the same author as the Lituriture Adventures of Molly Smith, but hey.)
A different kind of Angle, which details, apparently "what happens when a weeping angle shows up in my bedroom, but its not just a regular weeping angle, this one is made of white marble."
Not only is it a self-insert, but... weeping. angles.
I think a protractor is necessary for this mission. -
Kind of off topic... by
on 2012-11-29 21:20:00 UTC
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But, should we make a wiki page for the Circle of Lemmings? There's one for the Pit. I could make it if someone else more eloquent/experienced in making wiki pages/familiar with the Circle of Lemmings doesn't want to.
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I think so. by
on 2012-11-29 22:05:00 UTC
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You could start, and I'll jump in later. :'D
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You've been beat to it. by
on 2012-11-29 21:51:00 UTC
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Nesh made one recently, but it's not the most in-depth, seeing as we just discovered it. You're welcome to edit if you like.
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Right, going to go check it out. (nm) by
on 2012-11-29 22:05:00 UTC
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More dreck by
on 2012-11-28 00:45:00 UTC
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http://www.quotev.com/story/1939015/I-am-Voldemorts-daughter/8/
The whole story is just full of 'what', but the linked bit particularly.
http://www.quotev.com/story/2059665/Broken-Hearts-Dramione-Love-Story/
"Hermione Granger's heart is broken when Ron leaves her stranded on their wedding day. She bumps into Draco Malfoy at a restaurant..."
And the rest as they say ishistorya particularly awful task for some poor sods in the PPC.
http://www.quotev.com/story/2369425/Hogwarts-Royalty/
"Voldemort didn't turn evil, Harry's parents never died. Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Gabriella Peyton Grace Alexandria, is sick of acting, as she makes her way to Hogwarts. She falls in love...What will happen when she comes to know the truth of her father? how will this affect her as the future Queen of England?"
No. Just no. -
And another HP fic to add to the mix. by
on 2012-11-28 03:47:00 UTC
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http://www.quotev.com/story/1473041/Lost-Now-Found/?random=1
It's just... *groans* this person has obviously never read or watched Chamber of Secrets, and I was able to deduce that from the first chapter. HERMIONE IS NOT A HALF-BLOOD SHE IS A MUGGLE-BORN AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE A SISTER PEOPLE GET OVER IT!
Okay, I'm done now. Carry on with destroying your brains. -
Eaugh. by
on 2012-11-28 22:11:00 UTC
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And if she did, her parents would not have named the sister SAMANTHA. Seriously, you think parents that name one daughter after an obscure character from greek mythology would name their other kid something so pedestrian? Please. The same applies to Samantha as a middle name for Hermione... now I have to go to the Lexicon and look up what Hermione's mother's name really is. I will bet you any amount of money that there is nobody named Saphire in the entire world of Harry Potter.
SNAPE IS NOT HER FATHER FUDGE OFF YOU FANBRAT GAHhhhh...... -
The interesting thing about this oneÂ… by
on 2012-11-28 11:01:00 UTC
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…is the reviews. I like to check the reviews on Suefics to see whether a) there are any and b) whether they're concrit or just Suethors encouraging their fellow Suethor. Usually when I've checked the reviews on the circle of lemmings they are encouraging the author to keep writing. But this one actually had someone point out that Hermione's parents were Muggles.
A flicker of light in this dark Circle… -
I've only read a bit of eachÂ… by
on 2012-11-28 02:28:00 UTC
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But I can already tell that the first one has a fragile waist. Which means any agent should be able to snap her in half. Should they be so inclined. Which I think they will be.
The second BREAKS UP THE RON/HERMIONE. 'Nuff said.
And the third…I second Lily's rant below. -
What. Seriously, what. by
on 2012-11-28 01:21:00 UTC
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Especially that last one. I think a little bit of my soul just died.
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It's a shame I don't know more about HP by
on 2012-11-28 01:34:00 UTC
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Otherwise I'd happily spork it myself. I mean I've seen the movies, but doubt I'm clued up enough on canon in order to defend it.
That said, most of the charges in these things are just so blatant I reckon any sane person could pick them out. -
I'm still wondering what the hell is with the last one. by
on 2012-11-28 01:47:00 UTC
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Seriously? Voldemort not evil? Harry's parents not dead? But... but... but then where the flying hell did the entire plotline of the Harry Potter books go? Tell me!
Oh, so this Sue means to just... completely dismiss the plotline of the Harry Potter books, drag in One Direction and Percy Jackson for a super-mega-confusing-as-frak crossover, and bastardise the entire Royal Family (seriously? The royal house of England is the WINDSOR family. If mummy is the Queen and Sue is the princess and she's engaged to the Prince of Wales - now wait a hot sec, that means she's engaged to her BROTHER. Because the Prince of Wales is next in line for the throne, not her, and the Prince of Wales is generally the eldest son of the reigning monarch because male primogeniture passes the throne to the guys and why am I talking about this I am Chinese-American for crying out loud) in the process?
Also: FRANCE HAS NO KING. FRANCE NEEDS NO KING. And what imaginary French monarch in their right mind would ever, ever, ever name their kid Gèorge; it's Georges in French for one, and most French princes/kings were named Louis.
The Anglophile in me needs her tea. Sorry. -
*Passes Lily some Chai with ginger biscuts.* by
on 2012-11-28 22:15:00 UTC
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Indeed. This whole thing is clearly nothing but borrowing the universe in name only as a vehicle for the obnoxiously named sue. On the other hand, the charges are so blatant that you could probably hop in this one with a fictionary in one hand and a weapon of your choice in the other and have the sue killed by the second chapter.
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Pops head around door... by
on 2012-11-28 23:29:00 UTC
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Did someone say something about killing a Lemming!Sue within two chapters? I'm in! :P
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You're ahead of the crowd. by
on 2012-11-29 03:49:00 UTC
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Sure, soon as I've got permission and killed the Narnia one, you can come and help us kill this one dead, unless someone else already has dibs.
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*pats Lily comfortingly on the shoulder* by
on 2012-11-28 02:12:00 UTC
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I feel your pain. I've only read the first two chapters and it's already horrid. Have some Bleeprin mixed into that tea.
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Uh oh, guys... by
on 2012-11-27 00:11:00 UTC
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Avengers fans might be pissed.
It's a Thor/OC story, to start. The main character is an animal shapeshifter with animal telepathy and powers over the elements who had supposedly been with S.H.I.E.L.D. Since she was ten years old.
I skimmed through the there chapters. All I saw was... Well, not good.
SPaG is okay-ish, but it's clear the characters - Thor especially - are Suefluenced.
Black Widow is also apparently scared of ferrets, who knew. -
Re: Uh oh, guys... by
on 2012-11-27 01:08:00 UTC
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I think somebody's just salting the road with different powers and stuff... (Why are all these things written first-person? Beginner authors would be better served to write in third until they get the hang of things, especially grammar and narrative flow...)
I'm just going to shake my head at the site now. -
Re: Uh oh, guys... by
on 2012-11-27 01:17:00 UTC
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Eh, I started writing first person myself. I found third person to be harder, personally.
But yeah, what next, Hawkeye breaking free from Loki's mind control because Ferret-girl telepathy'd a mouse to jump down his trousers mid-punch out with Black Widow? -
Re: Uh oh, guys... by
on 2012-11-27 01:25:00 UTC
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I'm talking about beginner-beginners. People who don't skip some of the introductory steps by learning via reading, especially - from a technical standpoint, first can be harder to get things right in, but you're probably good if you've done enough first person perspective reading that you can learn a bit by osmosis.
... For some reason, this doesn't change the fact that, trawling the reaches of published and unpublished original fiction and fanfiction, I'm finding that an unusually high proportion of first-person narrators are sues... Someone should take a statistical look at that. -
Re: Uh oh, guys... by
on 2012-11-27 01:52:00 UTC
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I would, but I'm scared to try.
Ancient history wrote Mary Sues like crazy, is rather not find then in modern literature outside of the internet if I can help it. -
Browse the YA romance section by
on 2012-11-27 18:35:00 UTC
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And happy hunting or avoiding...
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YA romance? by
on 2012-11-27 18:44:00 UTC
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You're talking Twilight level smut, aren't you.
Ugh... -
Nope by
on 2012-11-27 18:55:00 UTC
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I'm talking sues that actually tried to have a plot... so, a bit of a level up from Twilight, but still fairly annoying. And a lot of the JYA *for girls* fantasy with romance subplots is sueish too... I'm so glad that I started reading stuff like Witch World and Lord of the Rings when I was that age.
Seriously, people, if you ever wonder why young women read bad novels, it's because there's nothing else on offer for the broadest portion of casual readership. Now, if people would stop assuming that teenage girls needed unrealistic romance or unrealistic boring highschool drama,and judging girls who like decent books as "too nerdy," we wouldn't have a problem...
*Rants off into the sunset, kicking trash cans.* -
I know, right? by
on 2012-11-27 22:15:00 UTC
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The formula for the average teen novel:
A teenage girl, who claims to be an social outcast and doesn't think she's pretty (and almost invariably complains about her chest).
Her nemesis, miss evil popular cheerleader.
A super awesome hot guy who is like, totally the sweetest and most perfect guy EVER.
Assorted BFFs.
An extremely stereotypical high school, where the cliques are easily defined and labeled.
A life changing event, like moving to a new school.
Some drama, as ultra perfect guy seems completely out of reach due to plot related circumstances/being of a different social status. This makes up most of the plot. BFFs may console her, the nemesis will try to steal the guy or upset her life in some other way.
Some big event, like a party or a dance. Heroine dresses up in an overdescrbed outfit that makes her look gorgeous. Plot is coming to a climax--heroine, aided by this outfit and maybe by some friends, gives the nemesis her due, gets with the perfect guy, and might resolve the rest of the plot while she's at it. Guy and girl kiss with long sappy description, and book ends.
This is all done from first person.
I have to admit, I read the occasional teen novel. Some of them are well written, and both the hero and heroine are developed, interesting characters. Then it's just a good romance. And even the other kind can be fun to read just because. I indulge my idiotic girly side every once in a while.
Although in general, I dislike teen romance. Lord of the Rings for the win! -
And you wonder... by
on 2012-11-28 01:37:00 UTC
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why so many young women write Sues. After all, when a majority of the books marketed at the young adult female age group conform to that basic plotline, those who don't branch out and read, say, the classics or any other books not geared specifically towards them tend to fall into the mentality that that's the fundamentals of a good story.
I find it funny how that's also the plotline of many chick flicks and a couple Taylor Swift songs. Seriously media, stop pushing this sh!t on young women. -
*Offers Lily a cookie* by
on 2012-11-28 21:49:00 UTC
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I am so glad every time I meet "normal" girls who purchase this kind of media that I grew up catching frogs and reading sci-fi and fantasy and Black Beauty.
(Yeah, I read a lot of horse books when I was eight - many of them were the same, but a lot of books marketed at kids always boil down to the same standard plots, especially something that basically boils down to fantasy-fulfilment, such as horse and pony books. Still, I like to think that finding out that too many similar horse books bored me when I was eight and nine, and noticing that I could successfully predict the plot of every new Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys book that I picked up helped me grow up and stay away from the repetitive romance tripe when I was a teen. At least horse books and Nancy Drew are essentially harmless.) -
I've made it my goal to... by
on 2012-11-28 22:06:00 UTC
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...write stories that don't have a predictable, formulaic plot, and barring that, to tell the plot in a new way that entertains rather than bores.
Personally for each fandom I usually check to make sure any potential plots I have haven't already been written. And if there is I have to ask myself if my rendition can make it better. If it can, I go for it. If not, I promote what's already there. -
I've made it a goal... by
on 2012-11-28 22:20:00 UTC
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... To write original fiction that doesn't give a frack about marketable plotlines and which isn't suspiciously similar to things I've already seen. This means that any romance that goes on comes up because I'm halfway through writing and I realize that characters have chemistry, (this has actually earned the appreciation of a few people... who wish it would happen more often, but eh,) and that if I have a plot that could have been standard, I try and do something to make it funny, interesting, point out problems with the genere, or crossed with another genre.
I haven't written much fandom in a while, but I usually stick to things that would be plausible as "forgotten episodes," or cut chapters, or stuff about minor characters. I usually figure that if I don't pay attention to the vast body of fandom's strange ideas about characters, I'll do better. Though I do check if my plotbunnies are just migratory things from a fic I read a couple weeks ago or if they're the real thing. -
Yes. by
on 2012-11-28 22:41:00 UTC
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Makes sense, definitely, although our goals may be shaped by experiences. I write two OFUs, for one, which are essentially a meta version of every other fantasy school plot out there. What makes them different are the classes, the focus of the overarching semester, the antagonists. I have formulaic bits taken from OFUM, but I try to add a twist, to convey it in a new way.
As for fandom I've made a name for myself with Sherlock AUs, including a Sherlock/Tangled crossover and a Never Let Me Go AU. The existing fics out there for Tangled were unfinished, and one of them seemed a bit OOC. The existing Never Let Me Go AU obviously never read the book. So my versions didn't seek to copy them, only sought to be my take on the subject and hopefully be an improvement from what was there before. -
Sherlock/Tangled? by
on 2012-11-29 03:36:00 UTC
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Well. I'm not certain how I should approach that one except for with copious quantities of popcorn.
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I've made it my goal... by
on 2012-11-28 22:27:00 UTC
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Let's just keep this going eh?
I've made it my goal to try and write as outside of the normal cliches as I can without totally demolishing the story or its, potential fanbase.
And if I do write with troperiffic disregard, I've made it my goal to make it totally awesome.
I'm off to a passable start, I feel. -
*Crashes through the fourth wall* by
on 2012-11-29 03:45:00 UTC
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Sure, let's keep this one rolling.
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Keeping this goingÂ… by
on 2012-11-29 00:38:00 UTC
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I've made it my goal to…
Write well.
Yes, that's it. As I said earlier, I enjoy the occasional well-written teen novel. I don't care if the plot has been overdone, if it's written well I wil enjoy it. Granted, it's harder to write something well if the plot is overdone and silly.
And I write what I want to read. So I just try to write well with whatever idea I have. Most of the time, those ideas aren't clichéd just because I don't tend to gravitate towards that. But if I decided to do, say, a Christmas fic, my only goal would be to write it well. -
Sweet. by
on 2012-11-29 03:47:00 UTC
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Well, if there's anything guaranteed to make books worthwhile, it's to have people writing something they'd want to read.
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Exactly my point! by
on 2012-11-29 17:19:00 UTC
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It would improve the quality of any sort of writing. I mean, I don't put my characters through a Sue test if I think they're getting Sue-y, I step back and imagine that this was a story I was reading, and would I like this character. So far, I don't think a Sue has ever been posted to ff.net under my name. :)
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Sad to admit. by
on 2012-11-27 23:16:00 UTC
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I'll just say "this" because I'm busy spite-laughing at the truth behind your post.
the worst part is: it's so hard to find a good YA Romance book, even if you know such things exist. -
Oh, good Lord, I didn't realize you meant THAT... by
on 2012-11-27 19:35:00 UTC
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Oh shit, you were talking worse things...
I have no words, truly. I don't have much place to talk, being a guy, but I definitely know the feeling.
Actually, I think what saved me was that some of the earliest books I read were old Calvin and Hobbes comic books my dad used to own. They were so ridiculous that when I saw the similar plots used later as serious things, it turned me off that story and soared my poor eyes.
Writing those plots in a joking fashion like I do also helped, because I know better than to take my comedy writing seriously. -
Yeah by
on 2012-11-28 21:44:00 UTC
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I started to read a couple years early (I was three,) so I got a lot of extra kids-section reading done between the ages of seven and ten. I learned comedy early and knew better than to take those later teen paperbacks seriously. It also gave me a taste for fantasy, so I followed a couple of anthologies and the classics directly into the adult section at eleven or twelve and didn't come back out except on my way out of the library.
That and I've always spent enough time reading that I don't want to waste my time on predictable, sueish high school drama. ;) -
A response: by
on 2012-11-28 22:32:00 UTC
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This, this, and a heap of this.
With a side of this.
Wedged between two this's.
On a bed of this.
(Wherein Specs makes an open-faced "this" sandwich with French fries and this-flavored dip.) -
Oh, definitely. by
on 2012-11-27 19:21:00 UTC
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When I head to the bookstore, almost every single YA novel will involve a romance subplot. I mostly have to stick to adult fiction (or head to the children's section - I'm pretty sure that last time I went, that's where, say, the So You Want To Be A Wizard novels were.) One of my friends has a litmus test where if a teen novel mentions anything resembling romance on the back cover/inside flap or in the first chapter, then she's not going to get it.
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Yup by
on 2012-11-28 21:35:00 UTC
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Although, a lot of the JYA (Middle School marketed,) fantasy has pretty good stuff at my local library, but that's because it doesn't have romance subplots or, if it does, it's incidental. I agree completely with the adult and kiddie sections having the best stuff: picture me, ten years old (or you could just picture Hermione Granger - the stack of books was about the right size,) explaining to the librarian why I had half my stack from the adult section and half from the kids section.
That happened a lot, now that I think of it. But So You Want To Be A Wizard was in JYA at my library, probably because the first few books were written long enough ago that they probably were marketed for kids, on the assumptions that older teens would read adult novels. -
Re: Oh, definitely. by
on 2012-11-27 19:39:00 UTC
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Hey, the kiddie section rocks for inspiration.
I had a book on dragons AND magic, AND pirates from that section. It was amazingly helpful! -
I must thank you Lily... by
on 2012-11-26 22:06:00 UTC
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...for now I know where I can get my next mission fic from! :D
On another note: oh gods what in the multiverse have I just let into my brain?
*eats Bleep-banana*
...
*eats several more* -
That, I believe, is the muck that lurks below... by
on 2012-11-27 00:00:00 UTC
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the mat underneath the lowest bar of fanfiction quality, as famously mentioned by Araeph.
Welcome to the sludgepit known as the Circle of Lemmings, indeed. Have a truckload of Bleepolate milk. -
Thanks, I think I'm going to need it... (nm) by
on 2012-11-28 00:46:00 UTC
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- That, I believe, is the muck that lurks below... by on 2012-11-26 23:59:00 UTC Reply
- That, I believe, is the muck that lurks below... by on 2012-11-26 23:59:00 UTC Reply
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Admin please delete this one? (nm) by
on 2012-11-27 00:00:00 UTC
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Welcome to the Circle of Lemmings... by
on 2012-11-26 22:13:00 UTC
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You have been warned.
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BLAARGH by
on 2012-11-26 13:36:00 UTC
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http://www.quotev.com/story/1353485/Why-would-he-love-a-freak-like-me-Teen-Titans-Love-Story/
She's Raven's cousin, Slade's daughter, Jinx's sister, Johnny Rancid's sister, she can shapeshift into a wolf and uses the exact same kind of spellcasting as Raven, she's a firebender, at 16 she owns 'the hottest dance club in the city' and is teh best DJ and singer ever, she's both a loner AND fun and outgoing, sweet and kind, aka NOT A LONER AT ALL. -
Have some bleepnerds by
on 2012-11-26 22:09:00 UTC
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I'm out of nm&m's.
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Re: BLAARGH by
on 2012-11-26 18:19:00 UTC
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Blaaargh indeed.
-Gives Firemagic some Bleepolate milk-
This makes no sense. At all.
-Drinks a cup of Bleeptea- -
What in the flying seven circles of Hell?! by
on 2012-11-26 14:38:00 UTC
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Damn it, I'm already working on one MST, I can't handle two right now!
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Upon clicking the "random" button multiple times... by
on 2012-11-26 01:54:00 UTC
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I happened upon a God!Sue.
Yes you read that right. Not a Godmode!Sue who has complete and ultimate power. A 'Sue that is a god.
Somebody call the ESAS, or heck, even the entire DMS. Greek mythology and the Percy Jackson fandom has never wept so much. -
All right, role call for the Goddess-killing mission! by
on 2012-11-27 00:03:00 UTC
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This involves anyone with Agents to contribute to the cause as well as people willing to beta read. Please give me emails and the names of the Agents (if applicable).
I'll be sending 'round a word document with the text of the fic for copypasta purposes, and we'll go from there. -
I'll help! by
on 2012-11-27 18:42:00 UTC
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I haven't read Percy Jackson, but I started reading Greek Mythology in first grade (a heavily censored version in the school library, granted).
If you need a couple more agents, Lynn Gillies and Arthur Briggs are available. If you just need a beta, I can do that as well. LLWatts@juno.com -
If it's alright by
on 2012-11-27 12:09:00 UTC
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Can my Agents come along even without Permission. I think it's okay for group writing?
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I think it's okay. by
on 2012-11-27 15:21:00 UTC
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If I might point out, Riese's agents are the same ones he co-wrote with before he got Permission as the ones he uses now that he has Permission.
So, I think it can work.
But keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who has not participated directly or indirect in any missions to date. -
I can finalize-beta read. by
on 2012-11-27 03:45:00 UTC
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I can beta read the competed work if need be. Right now, I'm a bit burned out on GDocs, so it's easier if I can just email my entire list of edits.
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Definitely available for beta, unsure for actual writing. by
on 2012-11-27 02:51:00 UTC
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Because, as you know, I don't have Permission. I have the bio, and I have a story that I need to look over again as well as have it beta-read but other than that, I'm almost there. If I'm deemed worthy, that is.
You probably already have this, but for convenience's sake, my email is beeg97@yahoo.com. -
I might have to ask Nesh if it's alright.. by
on 2012-11-27 01:31:00 UTC
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but if it is, count me in!
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I can definitely beta by
on 2012-11-27 01:14:00 UTC
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And we'll put myself and my agents, Vid and Trask, down as a definite "maybe" for the actual mission. Unfortunately, my finals are coming up.
kkrone@carthage.edu
I really need to make another internet-shenanigans account... -
And I ought to point out that I have no Permission by
on 2012-11-27 01:34:00 UTC
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But I am working on the document that will be my first stab at obtaining it.
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Don't have Permission... by
on 2012-11-27 00:44:00 UTC
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But I have an extensive knowledge of Greek Mythology and Percy Jackson, so I can most definitely beta. My email is my hermioneofvulcan@gmail.com.
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Extra "my", sorry. (nm) by
on 2012-11-27 00:44:00 UTC
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Count me in by
on 2012-11-27 00:12:00 UTC
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I'll probably be using Lana and Narav.
That username up there, at cox dot net -
As a complete Greek Mythology geek by
on 2012-11-26 23:14:00 UTC
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Kill It With Fire.
Yet another who doesn't have Permission, but gah! -
OH. MY. GODS. by
on 2012-11-26 17:23:00 UTC
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I feel a rant coming on...
She's doing the Percy Jackson equivalent of the Tenth member of the Fellowship: joining the quest in The Lightning Thief. In a later book, Chiron explains that three is a strong number and objects (key word) to a four member quest (and none of the characters there were Sues!). And she seems to be usurping Annabeth's role. I wouldn't be surprised if she breaks up the Percabeth.
And not only is she messing with that numerology, she's the fourteenth Olympian! In the mythology, Hestia stepped down so Dionysus could become an Olympian and keep the number twelve. But of course that doesn't matter to the Sue.
And oh, lookit that, it can't decide if it's movieverse or bookverse.
And she gets turned to stone by Medusa and COMES BACK.
And the best lines are plagiarized right from the book.
And minis.
And she gets claimed as a GODDESS. If only I knew how to curse in ancient Greek (Klingon doesn't seem appropriate).
Gods, I want to kill her. I don't have Permission, but if whoever sporks it needs help with Greek Mythology/Percy Jackson, I am available. In fact, I offer in advance to beta read. -
Kai su, teknon? by
on 2012-11-26 22:04:00 UTC
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I can't curse in Greek either... but I know where I can find some extaordinarily vulgar Latin, if you want.
People who break up Percy and Annabeth should be sporked with lightning bolts.
... Earth to suethor, there's a reason that the demigods were, well, demigods. Hercules may have become a god, but that was just handwaving when they wrote everything down to try and reconcile cities that called him a god with those that didn't. Notably, others didn't.
I'm still writing my permissions fic, it's about three pages and almost done. Of course, I've come back to school and it's trying to kill me once more... -
Google Translate can get downright shakespearean. by
on 2012-11-26 22:09:00 UTC
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Θα σας δάκρυ της σπονδυλικής στήλης μας και τυλίξτε το γύρω από το λαιμό σας άθλια!
There's one good curse I worked up in google translate. Not sure how to pronounce it, though.
It says, "I should tear out your spine and wrap it around your miserable throat!", for the curious. -
I was going to break out the curse tablets by
on 2012-11-26 22:20:00 UTC
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We've had to translate several of them in Archaeology, and I have to say that one of my favorites loosely translates as "may your intestines turn to water," (i.e. may you have explosive diarrhea until you die from it.)
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Or, that works too. by
on 2012-11-26 23:04:00 UTC
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Nice. That had to have been Egyptian in nature.
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Egyptians... by
on 2012-11-27 01:22:00 UTC
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They're usually the ones that are straight to the point, aren't they? (If that was a Bartimeus reference like I think it was, you get a cookie with sprinkles.) That particular curse tablet was from the baths of Minerva Sullas in England, but there's something delightfully vicious about the writer's mindset anyway. :)
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Quite so, I think. by
on 2012-11-27 03:51:00 UTC
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Think he/she might have been a PPC agent before it was a thing? I think so.
It takes a loose nut to make up such intricate curses and hexes. -
Sure it's not Acacia relocated to England? by
on 2012-11-27 08:24:00 UTC
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She did retire in a fictional Rome after all.
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That'd be EPIC. (nm) by
on 2012-11-28 02:48:00 UTC
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It could be. by
on 2012-11-27 13:33:00 UTC
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If so, then we must cherish this relic of our organization's co-founder within some form of vault.
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Re: OH. MY. GODS. by
on 2012-11-26 19:57:00 UTC
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Your sentiment is shared greatly. If I had permission, I would send my agents out there without a care as to whether or not they were qualified. I myself am not a huge fan (having read the books when I was younger but kinda abandoning the new series) but I have a friend who is obsessed with the series and just thinking of her reading males me cringe. She would be horrified.
On that note though, I will gladly beta for whichever mission this happens to spawn if I don't end up directly involved with it, seeing as I know the continuum pretty well. -
What the flying... by
on 2012-11-26 12:43:00 UTC
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I happen to have been quite obsessed with Greek Mythology as a kid. I will happily help you kill this.
I also know the Percy Jackson series and the Egyptian spinoff, but not the Roman one.
Seriously, what in the name of Olivie's magitek arm is this? -
It's an abomination by
on 2012-11-26 22:07:00 UTC
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From the primordial chaos. Trying to pass itself off as a sue. I know the Roman spinoff (and finally finished reading the original series,) and I second your demand for this to be sporked. (Or, looking at the reply chain, it's possible that I fifth or tenth it - math has never been my strong suit.)
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Why is she named Moria?! by
on 2012-11-26 06:25:00 UTC
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If we're amassing a DMS-wide assassination attempt, sign my Agents up. I know a bit of Greek mythology and I have friends who can probably clue me in on what the freak is wrong with this fic Percy Jackson-wise.
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Moria? Oh, come on... by
on 2012-11-26 10:10:00 UTC
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I'm okay-but-not-great with Greek Mythology. I can help with details where needed with a bit of cheating and teh wikiz.
Sadly, as I have no permission and am a bit tuckered out from the big Co-write I just did at the moment, I'll just be watching from the sides. But by all means, put on a damn good show for your fellow agents. -
I know of a way to kill a "God"... by
on 2012-11-26 02:00:00 UTC
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But it only exists in my Specs and Co. canon, and involves me releasing the full powers of the entire Specs and Co. group, as well as channeling Unbridled Rage and Death Incarnate through multiple big and explosive guns, swords, magic fields, knives, axes, and spears and whatnot.
So, becoming The Creator and uberdestroying everything won't work, sadly. -
On a tangent: by
on 2012-11-24 22:03:00 UTC
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There are Narnia Sues as well on this person's profile.
http://www.quotev.com/story/2209168/Time-is-no-barrier-to-Narnia/
*Implodes.*
*Sweeps self up.*
Sorry about that, guys, but Narnia sues are an enormous pet peeve of mine.Especially sues that are so horrible that I can't see how Aslan would ever let them into Narnia and who go there for the purpose of jumping in the sack with Edmund.
I'd feel much worse about the amount of fanfic on this person's profile that I'd like to see MST'D or outright slain, but every time I go there I find something else that ticks me off...
This does it, guys. As soon as I go home and get the notebook where I scribbled that story, I'm trying for permission. Then all my school-related stress will be unleashed upon such horrible grammar and characterization as I am capable of finding. Circle of Lemmings, beware! (Though, has anybody else noticed that you can find a mission just by opening the site up? Egads, I must kill the thing that I named!) -
One man's nightmare is my MST fuel. by
on 2012-11-25 14:57:00 UTC
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Hey, that site is a lucrative source of inspiration as well as a cesspool of disgust. So long as it keeps giving me workable MST content, I'm willing to hack through the madness.
Good luck on the Permission, and Siingard preserve your just soul, because goodness knows you'll need the help. -
I have bottled rage by
on 2012-11-26 01:43:00 UTC
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Because the bottled courage and the bottled wisecracks weren't enough.
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I'll throw in bottled N.U.K.E. as well. by
on 2012-11-26 01:52:00 UTC
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Nature's Ultimate Killer of Everything, Liquid-Condensed Explosive version! (Specs and Co. brand quality!)
Trust me, you'll need the Magic Molotov Cocktail. -
Thanks. by
on 2012-11-26 21:59:00 UTC
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I'll be sure to use it in conjunction with the holy hand grenade.
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It works best with Holy Carpet Bombing runs... by
on 2012-11-26 22:11:00 UTC
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Might think about contacting Riese - everybody's favorite Inquisitor! I'm sure he's got something in those pockets of his.
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Would killing the sue... by
on 2012-11-26 22:17:00 UTC
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By dropping her in the way of her stupid world war 3 be too good for her?
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I had a solution... by
on 2012-11-26 23:02:00 UTC
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British soldiers use her as a weapon to demolish the Neo Nazi army by Suefluencing them to kill each other, and then kill her so that she can never cause harm again.
It's elaborate, but I'm fairly certain whatever general is in charge of the British forces (Because this would have to take place in or near England) can be easily convinced. -
Er... by
on 2012-11-26 23:15:00 UTC
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Personally I would prefer to kill her in a way that provides the least chances of her using her Suefluence on the surroundings.
So perhaps we could drop her off at the ground zero of an inevitable nuclear bombing in WW3? -
I like it. by
on 2012-11-27 01:29:00 UTC
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Portal in, portal out, kill her with her own story. We'd have to round up the Hitler spawn too - there's a high chance that the character needs killing even if I haven't seen them put an appearance in the actual fic yet.
On the other hand, since they're more a presence than a character, would they just disappear? -
Maybe. by
on 2012-11-27 03:54:00 UTC
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Like a poltergeist after the binding spirits are exorcised? Probably.
That, or he'll take on good ol' Adolf's face and be that much more of a nuisance. -
Can we just make a Logic Bomb by
on 2012-11-27 02:00:00 UTC
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Drop it on WW3!Europe, and watch it all just magically poof into nonexistence because WW3!Europe in the modern era is simply illogical?
(seriously if there was ever going to be a WW3 it would happen primarily in the Middle East) -
Yes to Logic Bombs! (nm) by
on 2012-11-27 12:44:00 UTC
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A bit of hilarious irony by
on 2012-11-27 13:38:00 UTC
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In my latest Gameinformer magazine, Viacom is advertising a game called "Remember Me," wherein the government corporations of Earth, 2083, control everybody's minds for profit, and can bleach them at will.
The main character is a female ex-memory hunter named Nilien (that's probably a typo), and one of her trademarks is that she can create her own combo strings out of thin air, which is the game's selling point.
Well, she also has sort of, "technological magic", and here's where the irony comes in:
One of her powers is called Logic Bomb. I kid you not. -
I'm down for it. by
on 2012-11-27 03:49:00 UTC
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Or out would be a giant turf war between America, China, North Korea, and the Middle East.
But in all honesty, Europe's mutual hatred of themselves and their neighbors is truly how they keep peace - "Go to war with France? I'll choke on the cigarette smoke!" -
Certainly seems like... by
on 2012-11-27 03:53:00 UTC
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...the Eurozone at least can't really go to war with each other without f*cking up their economy first since they all have the same currency and stuff.
Also nuclear weapon proliferation: only some nations have nukes, others don't. France, for one, gets most of its power from nuclear energy; it doesn't take too much to turn that down more destructive channels.
Really, if it comes down to it the US military can kill everyone in the world five times over, and I think most other nations know that soooo... -
That's true. by
on 2012-11-27 04:01:00 UTC
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Well, maybe not FIVE TIMES, because remember, the Cold War (I seriously almost typed Chilly Dispute) both built up and then brought down the number of nukes Russia, America, or really anybody was allowed to have.
But if you think that'll stop Israel from going balls-out first chance they have on the entire Middle East... How is America holding them BACK? That's what I'd like to know. -
I don't know by
on 2012-11-27 18:48:00 UTC
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But I wish Israel and it's neighbors would stop chucking rockets at each other. I'm supposed to dig there this summer, I'd rather not do it under a foot of rubble.
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Also a viable solution. by
on 2012-11-26 23:27:00 UTC
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Hey, I never said I agreed with my plan. But it does kill two birds with one very painful stone.
Although, nuclear warfare is kind of funny like that, too... -
Erm... sh*t. by
on 2012-11-25 15:08:00 UTC
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Okay, what the frick, how do I copy-paste the text on my cell phone?
I swear to god, if I have to rewrite every single word, I will drop a N.U.K.E. (Specs and Co. brand quality!) Explosive on the Circle of Lemmings. -
The answer is still "you don't", but by
on 2012-11-26 00:17:00 UTC
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I've created a tutorial for how to obtain text from the circle of lemmings.
The blog is locked, yes, but password is circleoflemmings. -
Oh. by
on 2012-11-26 01:24:00 UTC
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Shit. Laptop for Christmas, then.
Also, for the curious, N.U.K.E. Stands for Nature's Ultimate Killer of Everything. It's essentially a giant magic missile. -
I'll get you a cleaned up copy of the Narnia fic then by
on 2012-11-26 01:47:00 UTC
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once I get off work.
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Surprised oh! by
on 2012-11-26 02:03:00 UTC
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I was actually going to forego it for Fanfiction.net, but thanks!
And this time, I think I'll do a solo MST first before I offer to do a group one.
Mobike Gdoc. Whai. -
Sent you a word document. by
on 2012-11-26 06:29:00 UTC
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If you need a gdoc version tell me.
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Bad news: you don't. by
on 2012-11-25 23:54:00 UTC
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Give me the link; I can get you the text (it requires a computer or at least the ability to view the source code of the fics).
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I... Adolf Hitler's son WHAT? by
on 2012-11-25 01:20:00 UTC
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Seriously, you'd think that Germany's post-WW2 trauma would be enough to prevent the kid from rising to power, provided old Adolf ever had it in him to spawn.
It's 2012 and she thinks Neo-Nazis are the problem we're gonna face in our brave new world? Really? -
That. by
on 2012-11-26 01:42:00 UTC
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I think I might dibs this particular fic - I ended up working on something for permission (turned out to be for my own amusement too,) today, but I want to do a full chapter. I think fans of Abhorsen, the Myst games, and the PPC will like the premise. :)
The problem is that the spelling and grammar was enough better than "The Liturature Adventures," that I'm not 100% certain that I can get it with Department of Technical Errors charges... on the other hand, there's the history and canon violations, so I might be able to get it on DTE alone. -
The main character's name is Isabelle. by
on 2012-11-26 12:37:00 UTC
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I speak for my fellow co-MSTers: SPARE THE BITCH NO MERCY.
Izabelle from the Weeping Angel fic was bad enough. -
HTML fail by
on 2012-11-24 22:03:00 UTC
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And the strike should have ended with the Edmund thing. *eyeroll*
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What's the mini for that universe? by
on 2012-11-23 17:02:00 UTC
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Because whatever it is, it's now crying and covered in spines. That's a promising fic for a mission... Sometime I will get permission, I swear...
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I think in this case... by
on 2012-11-23 19:07:00 UTC
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Turning the Weeping Angles into mini-Reapers would mean a lot of missing geometry jokes.
Like how the Nuzgul aren't mini-Balrogs, I think the Weeping Angles could be a separate entity from the mini-Reapers. -
True by
on 2012-11-24 16:02:00 UTC
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We've had plenty of one-off minis that override the usual types of mini because the narrative laws of comedy said so.
(I know the Weeping Angels, but I know nothing about the reaper - my Who is extraordinarily scattered and probably spans a couple of doctors.)
Go, Rouge Weeping Angles of Satin! -
All you wanted to know about the Reapers... by
on 2012-11-24 19:18:00 UTC
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...but were afraid to ask.
Courtesy of the TARDIS Index File, the fan-run Doctor Who wiki. -
I finally know why they were chosen by
on 2012-11-24 21:44:00 UTC
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Nothing like a creature that is allowed into the universe by damage to the space/time continuum to represent Dr. Who at the PPC.
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*Reapers by
on 2012-11-24 16:03:00 UTC
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Post preview has failed me yet again, but I do know to capitalize that.
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Re: What's the mini for that universe? by
on 2012-11-23 17:55:00 UTC
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DW's mini is the mini-Reaper.
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Not that I know much about Doctor Who... by
on 2012-11-23 14:03:00 UTC
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But I do know that they're weeping angels, not angles. And I don't know where she is because I haven't seen much Doctor Who, but it seems like it's someplace canonical, and if so HOW IN THE MULTIVERSE DOES SHE GET INTERNET ACCESS?
Whoever sporks it should kill the Sue by making her do trig problems. Because of all the angles.
And "pokadot" is a new Sue color, apparently. It should clash horribly with the "burgandy" I found in this jewel of a fic: http://www.quotev.com/story/2369225/So-what-if-youre-an-androidA-Commander-Data-love-story/
By the way, how did you make the name of the story the link? -
Noooo, the 'Sue colors are multiplying. by
on 2012-11-23 15:26:00 UTC
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The making-words-into-hyperlinks thing is part of HTML format. With similar codes you can also make words bold, italic, and a ton of other more complicated things. I found that Wikipedia actually has a decent tutorial for the codes.
If you are using HTML though, you need to preview the message before you post it, because if you get one character wrong it will do something like turn the entire text into italics. -
I know a bit of HTMLÂ… by
on 2012-11-25 03:28:00 UTC
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Just the basic bold, italics, and
strike through. When I get a chance I'll look at the tutorial. -
Or, in my case... by
on 2012-11-24 11:35:00 UTC
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Turn the entire post, plus all replies while in reading mode, into the link to a page you were trying to post for permission, but you stupidly forgot to close your tags.
A million sorries, whoever had the misfortune of trying to figure out how to escape that mess. -
An MST would be perfect. by
on 2012-11-23 01:08:00 UTC
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I stopped reading after "I broght out by laptop and logged onto Quotev.com. I had 500,000,000 followers..."
That's one-fourteenth of the world's current population that follows her Quotev, folks. One fourteenth.
I noticed an attempt at making a cool French name: "Dames-Forte". It would translate into "strong woman" but the "Dames" is in plural form, making it grammatically incorrect. Why do names always have to be symbolic with these characters?
That Ancestry.com reference made me laugh. So you're in the far-flung future and the first thing you think of is: "Hey, I'm going to check out my family line on a 21st century website."
What. -
If it's being offered... by
on 2012-11-23 02:00:00 UTC
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Hey, I'd be willing to MST this if nobody else is.
I'd even be willing to Co-write an MST of this.
It'd be good practice. (With GDoc on mobile devices, especially. What a pain.)
Heck, maybe I'll do one of each and post mine on my DeviantART for people to read.
Just say the word, Gung-Ho Specs is waiting. -
Actually... by
on 2012-11-24 00:05:00 UTC
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Well, I haven't seen any DW episodes past Wedding of River Song. But I don't think this author has either... or most of the other episodes.
Perhaps I can get Riaa'lzhor in on this, maybe with Lana. I'm at (that little username right above this post) at-symbol cox dot net. -
Added you to the doc. :'D (nm) by
on 2012-11-24 07:54:00 UTC
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Ah... by
on 2012-11-24 00:37:00 UTC
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I could try to wedge you in, but we've got... Well,
Cast list:
SC
KittyNoodles
ThatOne
Mare Elm
Lily
Eroeda
Its... pretty crowded. You can join if you really want to, but just know that you'll be adding in a lot of commentary to compensate for, well, everybody. -
Can I nose in on this MST by
on 2012-11-23 16:57:00 UTC
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I haven't MSTed before, but have trouble *not* snarking at things outloud.
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Re: Can I nose in on this MST by
on 2012-11-23 17:15:00 UTC
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Email is singingthethunder1@gmail.com
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Sure, lemme add you to the doc. by
on 2012-11-23 19:08:00 UTC
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Just make your intro and start in on the fun!
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I would love to MST this thing! by
on 2012-11-23 03:13:00 UTC
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I don't know much about Doctor Who, but I'm willing to offer the same brand of humor that have birth to Onua's Lovecave of Uncanonical Boners!
Of course, I'm stuck on just my cellphone again, so it'll be a bit tough, but... -
Yay. by
on 2012-11-23 03:30:00 UTC
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But I swear, if you bring Uncanonical Boners into this, I will strangle Agent Caroline.
And we'll figure mobile GDoc out somehow. -
I would do a Co-Write MST. by
on 2012-11-23 02:15:00 UTC
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There are so many things to poke fun of! The angles made of white marble, her taking 1015 minutes to get ready (that's about 17 hours folks), the compleat stranger (I'm imagining a man that's been folded accordion-style), the angel making her travel backwards instead of forwards in time, and so many other things that I can't type right now because my brain is turning to mush. That was only part of the first chapter.
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Email, by the way... by
on 2012-11-23 02:51:00 UTC
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Is still beeg97@yahoo.com and I check it constantly, so send me a note if we are doing this.
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Thankies. by
on 2012-11-23 02:52:00 UTC
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'Kay.
I'm waiting on KittyNoodles; she said she was interested. -
Gah, jeezuhs! by
on 2012-11-23 02:28:00 UTC
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Good good, this is like a Dr. Who version of My Immortal.
Also, 500,000,000 followers. I can't even get 200 VIEWS on my DA account, let alone more than, like, three subscribers. How the hell does she have so many people watching her Circle of Lemmings profile and not telling her how badly it sucks? -
Lemmings. by
on 2012-11-26 22:14:00 UTC
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Remember that their blood is made of antifreeze and they follow each other off cliffs. :)
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Count me in too! by
on 2012-11-23 02:25:00 UTC
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If I knew more about Doctor Who I would write a mission, but since my Agents are specialised in Sherlock and already slated to take on Molly Smith, I think they'll be fine sitting this one out.
Count me in the MST! I'm lilywinterwood@gmail.com. -
Akay. by
on 2012-11-23 02:31:00 UTC
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I know who you are, Lily. We're watching you.
ooo-OOOO-oooooooooo...
That, and you critiques my first permission attempt profiles, remember?
(Just keep in kind, I know GDocs has a chat window on it... Well, I can't use the chat window for whatever reason, and I have to re-synchronize with everybody every time somebody writes something.
So, patience will be necessary.) -
Oops, other way around. by
on 2012-11-23 02:19:00 UTC
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Normal people do go backwards. She's a special snowflake who goes forwards in time.
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Ah, those rouge angles of satin... by
on 2012-11-23 00:22:00 UTC
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They're so mischievous!
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Oh boy, there goes my bodily essence... by
on 2012-11-23 00:09:00 UTC
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How would...
My...
My brain! Oh my god, it's leaking out my ear!
Crap! CRAP!!