Subject: Re: Uh oh, guys...
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-27 01:08:00 UTC
I think somebody's just salting the road with different powers and stuff... (Why are all these things written first-person? Beginner authors would be better served to write in third until they get the hang of things, especially grammar and narrative flow...)
I'm just going to shake my head at the site now.
And I return with a fic that is begging to be PPC'd.
(Okay so this is by the same author as the Lituriture Adventures of Molly Smith, but hey.)
A different kind of Angle, which details, apparently "what happens when a weeping angle shows up in my bedroom, but its not just a regular weeping angle, this one is made of white marble."
Not only is it a self-insert, but... weeping. angles.
I think a protractor is necessary for this mission.
But, should we make a wiki page for the Circle of Lemmings? There's one for the Pit. I could make it if someone else more eloquent/experienced in making wiki pages/familiar with the Circle of Lemmings doesn't want to.
You could start, and I'll jump in later. :'D
Nesh made one recently, but it's not the most in-depth, seeing as we just discovered it. You're welcome to edit if you like.
http://www.quotev.com/story/1473041/Lost-Now-Found/?random=1
It's just... *groans* this person has obviously never read or watched Chamber of Secrets, and I was able to deduce that from the first chapter. HERMIONE IS NOT A HALF-BLOOD SHE IS A MUGGLE-BORN AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE A SISTER PEOPLE GET OVER IT!
Okay, I'm done now. Carry on with destroying your brains.
And if she did, her parents would not have named the sister SAMANTHA. Seriously, you think parents that name one daughter after an obscure character from greek mythology would name their other kid something so pedestrian? Please. The same applies to Samantha as a middle name for Hermione... now I have to go to the Lexicon and look up what Hermione's mother's name really is. I will bet you any amount of money that there is nobody named Saphire in the entire world of Harry Potter.
SNAPE IS NOT HER FATHER FUDGE OFF YOU FANBRAT GAHhhhh......
…is the reviews. I like to check the reviews on Suefics to see whether a) there are any and b) whether they're concrit or just Suethors encouraging their fellow Suethor. Usually when I've checked the reviews on the circle of lemmings they are encouraging the author to keep writing. But this one actually had someone point out that Hermione's parents were Muggles.
A flicker of light in this dark Circle…
But I can already tell that the first one has a fragile waist. Which means any agent should be able to snap her in half. Should they be so inclined. Which I think they will be.
The second BREAKS UP THE RON/HERMIONE. 'Nuff said.
And the third…I second Lily's rant below.
Especially that last one. I think a little bit of my soul just died.
Otherwise I'd happily spork it myself. I mean I've seen the movies, but doubt I'm clued up enough on canon in order to defend it.
That said, most of the charges in these things are just so blatant I reckon any sane person could pick them out.
Indeed. This whole thing is clearly nothing but borrowing the universe in name only as a vehicle for the obnoxiously named sue. On the other hand, the charges are so blatant that you could probably hop in this one with a fictionary in one hand and a weapon of your choice in the other and have the sue killed by the second chapter.
Did someone say something about killing a Lemming!Sue within two chapters? I'm in! :P
Sure, soon as I've got permission and killed the Narnia one, you can come and help us kill this one dead, unless someone else already has dibs.
I feel your pain. I've only read the first two chapters and it's already horrid. Have some Bleeprin mixed into that tea.
I think somebody's just salting the road with different powers and stuff... (Why are all these things written first-person? Beginner authors would be better served to write in third until they get the hang of things, especially grammar and narrative flow...)
I'm just going to shake my head at the site now.
Eh, I started writing first person myself. I found third person to be harder, personally.
But yeah, what next, Hawkeye breaking free from Loki's mind control because Ferret-girl telepathy'd a mouse to jump down his trousers mid-punch out with Black Widow?
I'm talking about beginner-beginners. People who don't skip some of the introductory steps by learning via reading, especially - from a technical standpoint, first can be harder to get things right in, but you're probably good if you've done enough first person perspective reading that you can learn a bit by osmosis.
... For some reason, this doesn't change the fact that, trawling the reaches of published and unpublished original fiction and fanfiction, I'm finding that an unusually high proportion of first-person narrators are sues... Someone should take a statistical look at that.
I would, but I'm scared to try.
Ancient history wrote Mary Sues like crazy, is rather not find then in modern literature outside of the internet if I can help it.
And happy hunting or avoiding...
You're talking Twilight level smut, aren't you.
Ugh...
why so many young women write Sues. After all, when a majority of the books marketed at the young adult female age group conform to that basic plotline, those who don't branch out and read, say, the classics or any other books not geared specifically towards them tend to fall into the mentality that that's the fundamentals of a good story.
I find it funny how that's also the plotline of many chick flicks and a couple Taylor Swift songs. Seriously media, stop pushing this sh!t on young women.
...write stories that don't have a predictable, formulaic plot, and barring that, to tell the plot in a new way that entertains rather than bores.
Personally for each fandom I usually check to make sure any potential plots I have haven't already been written. And if there is I have to ask myself if my rendition can make it better. If it can, I go for it. If not, I promote what's already there.
Well. I'm not certain how I should approach that one except for with copious quantities of popcorn.
Sure, let's keep this one rolling.
Well, if there's anything guaranteed to make books worthwhile, it's to have people writing something they'd want to read.
It would improve the quality of any sort of writing. I mean, I don't put my characters through a Sue test if I think they're getting Sue-y, I step back and imagine that this was a story I was reading, and would I like this character. So far, I don't think a Sue has ever been posted to ff.net under my name. :)
I'll just say "this" because I'm busy spite-laughing at the truth behind your post.
the worst part is: it's so hard to find a good YA Romance book, even if you know such things exist.
When I head to the bookstore, almost every single YA novel will involve a romance subplot. I mostly have to stick to adult fiction (or head to the children's section - I'm pretty sure that last time I went, that's where, say, the So You Want To Be A Wizard novels were.) One of my friends has a litmus test where if a teen novel mentions anything resembling romance on the back cover/inside flap or in the first chapter, then she's not going to get it.
Hey, the kiddie section rocks for inspiration.
I had a book on dragons AND magic, AND pirates from that section. It was amazingly helpful!
the mat underneath the lowest bar of fanfiction quality, as famously mentioned by Araeph.
Welcome to the sludgepit known as the Circle of Lemmings, indeed. Have a truckload of Bleepolate milk.
You have been warned.
http://www.quotev.com/story/1353485/Why-would-he-love-a-freak-like-me-Teen-Titans-Love-Story/
She's Raven's cousin, Slade's daughter, Jinx's sister, Johnny Rancid's sister, she can shapeshift into a wolf and uses the exact same kind of spellcasting as Raven, she's a firebender, at 16 she owns 'the hottest dance club in the city' and is teh best DJ and singer ever, she's both a loner AND fun and outgoing, sweet and kind, aka NOT A LONER AT ALL.
I'm out of nm&m's.
Blaaargh indeed.
-Gives Firemagic some Bleepolate milk-
This makes no sense. At all.
-Drinks a cup of Bleeptea-
Damn it, I'm already working on one MST, I can't handle two right now!
I happened upon a God!Sue.
Yes you read that right. Not a Godmode!Sue who has complete and ultimate power. A 'Sue that is a god.
Somebody call the ESAS, or heck, even the entire DMS. Greek mythology and the Percy Jackson fandom has never wept so much.
This involves anyone with Agents to contribute to the cause as well as people willing to beta read. Please give me emails and the names of the Agents (if applicable).
I'll be sending 'round a word document with the text of the fic for copypasta purposes, and we'll go from there.
I haven't read Percy Jackson, but I started reading Greek Mythology in first grade (a heavily censored version in the school library, granted).
If you need a couple more agents, Lynn Gillies and Arthur Briggs are available. If you just need a beta, I can do that as well. LLWatts@juno.com
Can my Agents come along even without Permission. I think it's okay for group writing?
If I might point out, Riese's agents are the same ones he co-wrote with before he got Permission as the ones he uses now that he has Permission.
So, I think it can work.
But keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who has not participated directly or indirect in any missions to date.
I can beta read the competed work if need be. Right now, I'm a bit burned out on GDocs, so it's easier if I can just email my entire list of edits.
Because, as you know, I don't have Permission. I have the bio, and I have a story that I need to look over again as well as have it beta-read but other than that, I'm almost there. If I'm deemed worthy, that is.
You probably already have this, but for convenience's sake, my email is beeg97@yahoo.com.
but if it is, count me in!
And we'll put myself and my agents, Vid and Trask, down as a definite "maybe" for the actual mission. Unfortunately, my finals are coming up.
kkrone@carthage.edu
I really need to make another internet-shenanigans account...
But I am working on the document that will be my first stab at obtaining it.
But I have an extensive knowledge of Greek Mythology and Percy Jackson, so I can most definitely beta. My email is my hermioneofvulcan@gmail.com.
I'll probably be using Lana and Narav.
That username up there, at cox dot net
Kill It With Fire.
Yet another who doesn't have Permission, but gah!
Θα σας δάκρυ της σπονδυλικής στήλης μας και τυλίξτε το γύρω από το λαιμό σας άθλια!
There's one good curse I worked up in google translate. Not sure how to pronounce it, though.
It says, "I should tear out your spine and wrap it around your miserable throat!", for the curious.
We've had to translate several of them in Archaeology, and I have to say that one of my favorites loosely translates as "may your intestines turn to water," (i.e. may you have explosive diarrhea until you die from it.)
Nice. That had to have been Egyptian in nature.
They're usually the ones that are straight to the point, aren't they? (If that was a Bartimeus reference like I think it was, you get a cookie with sprinkles.) That particular curse tablet was from the baths of Minerva Sullas in England, but there's something delightfully vicious about the writer's mindset anyway. :)
Think he/she might have been a PPC agent before it was a thing? I think so.
It takes a loose nut to make up such intricate curses and hexes.
She did retire in a fictional Rome after all.
If so, then we must cherish this relic of our organization's co-founder within some form of vault.
Your sentiment is shared greatly. If I had permission, I would send my agents out there without a care as to whether or not they were qualified. I myself am not a huge fan (having read the books when I was younger but kinda abandoning the new series) but I have a friend who is obsessed with the series and just thinking of her reading males me cringe. She would be horrified.
On that note though, I will gladly beta for whichever mission this happens to spawn if I don't end up directly involved with it, seeing as I know the continuum pretty well.
I happen to have been quite obsessed with Greek Mythology as a kid. I will happily help you kill this.
I also know the Percy Jackson series and the Egyptian spinoff, but not the Roman one.
Seriously, what in the name of Olivie's magitek arm is this?
From the primordial chaos. Trying to pass itself off as a sue. I know the Roman spinoff (and finally finished reading the original series,) and I second your demand for this to be sporked. (Or, looking at the reply chain, it's possible that I fifth or tenth it - math has never been my strong suit.)
If we're amassing a DMS-wide assassination attempt, sign my Agents up. I know a bit of Greek mythology and I have friends who can probably clue me in on what the freak is wrong with this fic Percy Jackson-wise.
I'm okay-but-not-great with Greek Mythology. I can help with details where needed with a bit of cheating and teh wikiz.
Sadly, as I have no permission and am a bit tuckered out from the big Co-write I just did at the moment, I'll just be watching from the sides. But by all means, put on a damn good show for your fellow agents.
But it only exists in my Specs and Co. canon, and involves me releasing the full powers of the entire Specs and Co. group, as well as channeling Unbridled Rage and Death Incarnate through multiple big and explosive guns, swords, magic fields, knives, axes, and spears and whatnot.
So, becoming The Creator and uberdestroying everything won't work, sadly.
Hey, that site is a lucrative source of inspiration as well as a cesspool of disgust. So long as it keeps giving me workable MST content, I'm willing to hack through the madness.
Good luck on the Permission, and Siingard preserve your just soul, because goodness knows you'll need the help.
Because the bottled courage and the bottled wisecracks weren't enough.
Nature's Ultimate Killer of Everything, Liquid-Condensed Explosive version! (Specs and Co. brand quality!)
Trust me, you'll need the Magic Molotov Cocktail.
I'll be sure to use it in conjunction with the holy hand grenade.
Might think about contacting Riese - everybody's favorite Inquisitor! I'm sure he's got something in those pockets of his.
By dropping her in the way of her stupid world war 3 be too good for her?
British soldiers use her as a weapon to demolish the Neo Nazi army by Suefluencing them to kill each other, and then kill her so that she can never cause harm again.
It's elaborate, but I'm fairly certain whatever general is in charge of the British forces (Because this would have to take place in or near England) can be easily convinced.
Personally I would prefer to kill her in a way that provides the least chances of her using her Suefluence on the surroundings.
So perhaps we could drop her off at the ground zero of an inevitable nuclear bombing in WW3?
Portal in, portal out, kill her with her own story. We'd have to round up the Hitler spawn too - there's a high chance that the character needs killing even if I haven't seen them put an appearance in the actual fic yet.
On the other hand, since they're more a presence than a character, would they just disappear?
Like a poltergeist after the binding spirits are exorcised? Probably.
That, or he'll take on good ol' Adolf's face and be that much more of a nuisance.
Drop it on WW3!Europe, and watch it all just magically poof into nonexistence because WW3!Europe in the modern era is simply illogical?
(seriously if there was ever going to be a WW3 it would happen primarily in the Middle East)
Or out would be a giant turf war between America, China, North Korea, and the Middle East.
But in all honesty, Europe's mutual hatred of themselves and their neighbors is truly how they keep peace - "Go to war with France? I'll choke on the cigarette smoke!"
Well, maybe not FIVE TIMES, because remember, the Cold War (I seriously almost typed Chilly Dispute) both built up and then brought down the number of nukes Russia, America, or really anybody was allowed to have.
But if you think that'll stop Israel from going balls-out first chance they have on the entire Middle East... How is America holding them BACK? That's what I'd like to know.
But I wish Israel and it's neighbors would stop chucking rockets at each other. I'm supposed to dig there this summer, I'd rather not do it under a foot of rubble.
Hey, I never said I agreed with my plan. But it does kill two birds with one very painful stone.
Although, nuclear warfare is kind of funny like that, too...
Okay, what the frick, how do I copy-paste the text on my cell phone?
I swear to god, if I have to rewrite every single word, I will drop a N.U.K.E. (Specs and Co. brand quality!) Explosive on the Circle of Lemmings.
I've created a tutorial for how to obtain text from the circle of lemmings.
The blog is locked, yes, but password is circleoflemmings.
Shit. Laptop for Christmas, then.
Also, for the curious, N.U.K.E. Stands for Nature's Ultimate Killer of Everything. It's essentially a giant magic missile.
once I get off work.
I was actually going to forego it for Fanfiction.net, but thanks!
And this time, I think I'll do a solo MST first before I offer to do a group one.
Mobike Gdoc. Whai.
If you need a gdoc version tell me.
Give me the link; I can get you the text (it requires a computer or at least the ability to view the source code of the fics).
Seriously, you'd think that Germany's post-WW2 trauma would be enough to prevent the kid from rising to power, provided old Adolf ever had it in him to spawn.
It's 2012 and she thinks Neo-Nazis are the problem we're gonna face in our brave new world? Really?
I think I might dibs this particular fic - I ended up working on something for permission (turned out to be for my own amusement too,) today, but I want to do a full chapter. I think fans of Abhorsen, the Myst games, and the PPC will like the premise. :)
The problem is that the spelling and grammar was enough better than "The Liturature Adventures," that I'm not 100% certain that I can get it with Department of Technical Errors charges... on the other hand, there's the history and canon violations, so I might be able to get it on DTE alone.
I speak for my fellow co-MSTers: SPARE THE BITCH NO MERCY.
Izabelle from the Weeping Angel fic was bad enough.
And the strike should have ended with the Edmund thing. *eyeroll*
Because whatever it is, it's now crying and covered in spines. That's a promising fic for a mission... Sometime I will get permission, I swear...
Turning the Weeping Angles into mini-Reapers would mean a lot of missing geometry jokes.
Like how the Nuzgul aren't mini-Balrogs, I think the Weeping Angles could be a separate entity from the mini-Reapers.
We've had plenty of one-off minis that override the usual types of mini because the narrative laws of comedy said so.
(I know the Weeping Angels, but I know nothing about the reaper - my Who is extraordinarily scattered and probably spans a couple of doctors.)
Go, Rouge Weeping Angles of Satin!
...but were afraid to ask.
Courtesy of the TARDIS Index File, the fan-run Doctor Who wiki.
Nothing like a creature that is allowed into the universe by damage to the space/time continuum to represent Dr. Who at the PPC.
Post preview has failed me yet again, but I do know to capitalize that.
DW's mini is the mini-Reaper.
But I do know that they're weeping angels, not angles. And I don't know where she is because I haven't seen much Doctor Who, but it seems like it's someplace canonical, and if so HOW IN THE MULTIVERSE DOES SHE GET INTERNET ACCESS?
Whoever sporks it should kill the Sue by making her do trig problems. Because of all the angles.
And "pokadot" is a new Sue color, apparently. It should clash horribly with the "burgandy" I found in this jewel of a fic: http://www.quotev.com/story/2369225/So-what-if-youre-an-androidA-Commander-Data-love-story/
By the way, how did you make the name of the story the link?
The making-words-into-hyperlinks thing is part of HTML format. With similar codes you can also make words bold, italic, and a ton of other more complicated things. I found that Wikipedia actually has a decent tutorial for the codes.
If you are using HTML though, you need to preview the message before you post it, because if you get one character wrong it will do something like turn the entire text into italics.
Just the basic bold, italics, and strike through. When I get a chance I'll look at the tutorial.
Turn the entire post, plus all replies while in reading mode, into the link to a page you were trying to post for permission, but you stupidly forgot to close your tags.
A million sorries, whoever had the misfortune of trying to figure out how to escape that mess.
Well, I haven't seen any DW episodes past Wedding of River Song. But I don't think this author has either... or most of the other episodes.
Perhaps I can get Riaa'lzhor in on this, maybe with Lana. I'm at (that little username right above this post) at-symbol cox dot net.
I haven't MSTed before, but have trouble *not* snarking at things outloud.
Email is singingthethunder1@gmail.com
Just make your intro and start in on the fun!
I don't know much about Doctor Who, but I'm willing to offer the same brand of humor that have birth to Onua's Lovecave of Uncanonical Boners!
Of course, I'm stuck on just my cellphone again, so it'll be a bit tough, but...
But I swear, if you bring Uncanonical Boners into this, I will strangle Agent Caroline.
And we'll figure mobile GDoc out somehow.
There are so many things to poke fun of! The angles made of white marble, her taking 1015 minutes to get ready (that's about 17 hours folks), the compleat stranger (I'm imagining a man that's been folded accordion-style), the angel making her travel backwards instead of forwards in time, and so many other things that I can't type right now because my brain is turning to mush. That was only part of the first chapter.
Is still beeg97@yahoo.com and I check it constantly, so send me a note if we are doing this.
'Kay.
I'm waiting on KittyNoodles; she said she was interested.
Good good, this is like a Dr. Who version of My Immortal.
Also, 500,000,000 followers. I can't even get 200 VIEWS on my DA account, let alone more than, like, three subscribers. How the hell does she have so many people watching her Circle of Lemmings profile and not telling her how badly it sucks?
Remember that their blood is made of antifreeze and they follow each other off cliffs. :)
If I knew more about Doctor Who I would write a mission, but since my Agents are specialised in Sherlock and already slated to take on Molly Smith, I think they'll be fine sitting this one out.
Count me in the MST! I'm lilywinterwood@gmail.com.
Normal people do go backwards. She's a special snowflake who goes forwards in time.
They're so mischievous!
How would...
My...
My brain! Oh my god, it's leaking out my ear!
Crap! CRAP!!