She tends to, after all--the Quik Quotes Quill certainly made some interesting things out of Harry's answers in the fourth book. She's just taking a...slightly different tack with Jacques, even if she does do a fair bit with his angst as well. She's also added things, and twisted them--for one thing, the only dead Ianto Jones Jacques has ever come in contact with was a replacement. He was recruited long before Ianto's death in canon and thus has no memory of it.
In fact, a regular version of the final two excerpts might run like so:
Well, that hadn't worked. She was still impressively undistracted from all the questions he didn't want to answer. He had to admire her tenacity, even if he wished she had less of it.
Time to step up the game.
"Enough about me, Rita." He pulled her closer, trailing his fingers over her arm. "Tell me about you. Someone with your reporting history must have some great stories to tell!"
She giggled and looked down--good. Maybe this would actually work. It was certainly the only thing he'd found so far that did distract her--he'd noticed the discreet admiring looks almost immediately. They would have been far more welcome if they hadn't come as the side dish to a whole bunch of painful questions.
"Oh, I do," she said. "But yours--yours are so very interesting. Tell me more about your early days in ESAS. Or maybe about the first person you ever seduced in HQ?"
Jacques chuckled, the sound only a little forced, and pulled her even closer. If this didn't move the interview in a far more interesting direction, he had no idea what would. "Why don't I tell you about how I plan to seduce you?"
Gratifyingly, her eyes widened--and, for the first time since he'd met her, she was speechless.
...
They'd very much moved on to flirting now, much to Jacques' relief. He had to give her credit, though--she was still asking questions, even if most of them seemed to be part of her flirting style. It was suddenly a little bit charming, that her work had permeated even this aspect of her life so well.
"You seduce so many people," she was purring now. Her hand was on his arm, but despite the calculating undertone to her voice, her eyes were fixed on his. "Is it always a split second decision, or are there people you wait on seducing?"
He pulled back a little, laughing quietly. "You know, I don't seduce everyone I meet. Some of them aren't interested, for one thing, and, well...I do have people I've known for five years, practically the whole time I've been here, who I've never really gone for. You know how it is."
"Of course," she said. "Five years, though? What's kept you from trying?"
Jacques shrugged. "Apart from people I just don't have a chance with, or who turned me down the second I offered? I..." He paused, thinking about it. If this made it into her article, he thought he could take it--it could even serve as a reminder to him, at certain moments. "It wouldn't have worked, I guess. The time wasn't right, for both of us. It would've been a disaster, and then we settled into friendship, and..." He shrugged. "I suppose it might happen someday, but I'm not holding my breath."
Had she even heard all of that? Her eyes had dropped to his mouth halfway through. He'd be impressed if she'd caught most of it.
He leaned forward, returning the favor and adopting his flirtiest tone. "Did you catch any of that?"
"What?" She looked up, and actually blushed. He hadn't expected that.
He reached out a hand, brushing his fingers over the red in her cheeks. "Never mind."
"When did you decide to seduce me?" she blurted. Uncomposed words from a very composed woman--he loved it. That and the way she was still asking questions.
"About five minutes after you started talking to me," he said, grinning. No need to add that the decision had been based partially on distracting her, since brushing her off hadn't worked. It wasn't like he objected to the impending outcome, anyway. He leaned in, skimming his hands up her arms to cup her face, and lowered his voice. "Tell me, lovely Rita...have I managed it yet?"
She kissed him. He wanted to laugh triumphantly; instead, he wrapped his arms around her and set about kissing her breathless.
(He was, in fact, careful not to disturb her hair. He wasn't sure if he could, or how she could possibly get it looking presentable again to begin with.
After all, he still wanted her good will, even if that was quickly taking second place to everything else.)
--
So--kernels of truth, some polishing of lines, some changing of them altogether, and quite a bit of attraction. And, y'know, romance novel narration.
As to being Ana Steele...not enough inner goddesses and subconsciouses :P And I regret to inform you that she went into publishing, though actually the series does open with her filling in for her journalist best friend on an interview, because obviously it can't be rescheduled or given to an actual other student journalist rather than this random...English major, possibly.
(Though, also, Ana's not nearly interesting enough to be Rita Skeeter. Rita may be awful, but at least she isn't bland.)
--
Anyway. Glad you liked it! :) I'm not sure if there'll be any more, since I have a fair bit of schoolwork to get done (did this on a food break), but we'll see. If I get time and inclination before this thread falls off the page, I might go for it.
~Z
