Subject: Please do.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-15 02:27:00 UTC

I'm afraid I have to agree with Des and SevenSwans on that - there's really nothing I can say about your piece with the length as it is. It does feel a bit clunky, the dialogue a bit forced, and I found it tough to follow. But I really would hesitate to make a judgement on such a short sample, if you've got pieces that are longer stowed away somewhere.

If you'd like to give it another go, and link to a second choice, by all means you are welcome to do so.

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