Subject: Cassandra Aubrey and the Big Date
Posted on: 2018-03-11 04:57:00 UTC

"You know, ya really should've planned for something like this."

Cassie fixed Em with a withering glare. "How the hell was I supposed to plan for this? Tell me, O wise one, that I might learn your ancient secrets."

Em just laughed, which was definitely helpful and in no way at all made Cassie want to nail her to the outside of a speeding train. "Gurl, HQ's a weird place, 's'all I'm saying. You were bound to wind up on a date some time."

"Oh really?" Cassie's voice had that forced politeness to it common to teachers about to go absolutely postal on the little turds in Form 4B. "And I suppose you are too, by that logic."

"Like I said, HQ's hella weird. One time, I got chased around by animated luncheon meat, so a date like this one you're on? Not so crazy. At least your date didn't eat your laptop or something."

"Eat my - you know, I was just thinking the dessert menu around here was a little lacking in variety." Cassie glanced around at her surroundings. "Too heavy on the fruit for my liking."

Em cackled. "Damn, Cass. This is why I keep you around."

"That and I'm the only person willing to go in a bathroom you've used in the last four millennia."

"Yeah, that too."

"Merlin's sweaty taint." Cassie paced around a little bit. "I just feel so sticky. It's horrible."

"I knoooow." Em shrugged. "Could be worse. The heat could be stuck on again."

"I need about half a dozen showers and a Scourgify. These robes have absolutely had it. And now is a really bad time to find out my shoes don't fit properly any more. Bloody hell. My feet are killing me."

"Mine too. These sweatpants are designer."

"Isn't that a contradiction in terms?"


The two agents paced around a bit more, grimacing at the state of themselves.

"And that guy from Building Maintenance was really unhelpful," Cassie said after a while. "I told him about this bloody date I'm on and what did he do?"

"Said 'Congratulations', mumbled something about a bomb threat, and hung up. Which you told me. Like, four times now."

"Well, it bears repeating."

"Not. Four. Times."

"... I suppose not, but it irked me a bit, that's all. Sorry, Em, I don't mean to go on."

"I know, Cass, it's fine. It'll be okay."

They embraced for a moment, then recoiled before they stuck together.


"Yes, Em?"

Em pointed at the edge of the giant date they were standing on top of. "Uh... how do we get down?"


I'm a complete cow sometimes. >=]

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