Subject: Maaan...
Author:
Posted on: 2018-03-10 15:18:00 UTC

I am ashamed to say this got me worried. I mean, my first reaction was "Bwuh? No way. What's the punchline?" Like, it's right there in the title, it's not even a surprise. And the sweatpants. Nobody goes on a romantic date in sweatpants. But Tom taking the thing so seriously made me start to take it seriously, and while Derik would certainly not be jealous if Thoth did find someone eventually, that somehow doesn't stop me from going "but I thought what they had was special *wibble wibble sad puppy eyes*". That's pretty pathetic. And also hypocritical, given my own plans. I mean, jeez, I think that makes me a worse idiot than Tom. ^^;

BUT! I tell you this humiliating fact because I think it goes to show that the story does a good job of doing to me exactly what Thoth did to Tom, by virtue of selectively focusing on certain details while downplaying others, and that's pretty cool.

I didn't even notice the adverbs until the end, either, which tells me you're doing it right. Kudos!

Oh, and Talia seems cool, and she's obviously interested in Tom. She said she wants to touch him. There is no other fair reading of that line. ^
~ So, yay!

~Neshomeh

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