Subject: LOTS and LOTS of baaad emotions
Author:
Posted on: 2018-01-23 22:52:00 UTC

I'm honestly crushed that this... whatever it is... happened. I feel like what I said, if it was out of line, is nowhere NEAR Board-level. That being said, I still don't really feel like I went out of line, especially considering what I posted after the controversial stuff. What it looks like to me (though I am admittedly rather biased, and I feel the need to specify that I AM NOT REGARDING THIS AS THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH, because apparently expressing my opinion/discomfort sics hS on me??? Maybe that was a bit unnecessary but that's how this whole ordeal has made me feel, dang it) is that y'all saw me saying something 'against' Iximaz and decided immediately that I had to be punished for it. Again, I’m not saying that’s what happened, I’m saying it’s how it make me feel. Because I, too, have feelings. I'm legitimately scared, now, that this will happen again, that I'll be thrown onto the Board without even having gotten a warning. It is not as if I always do this! And the way hS just went after me... I don't know if I feel welcome on the Board anymore, and I certainly don't feel welcome on the chat knowing that somebody was there and decided to indict me without even talking to me about it first. To that end, it pains me, but I think I'm just going to have to take another hiatus! And whoever reported me to hS... next time, JUST TELL ME. I SWEAR I AM NOT EVIL. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYBODY. SURE, I PROBABLY OVERREACTED??? BUT I WOULD HAVE LISTENED IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST COME TO ME. All you've accomplished by doing this instead is upset *everybody* over an issue that could've been resolved through a quick PM. Unless your intent is to harm me?? In which case, congratulations, you've succeeded!

I just wanted to come back and be with my friends. And then... THIS. Maybe it's my fault? I don't know, I don't really *feel* like I've done anything egregious. Maybe I'm paranoid. I told myself I've been overreacting, but as the day goes on, I just get more and more sad. But... I can't believe this happened. I don’t even feel like I did anything??? I don't know! I'm scared this will happen again and I don't know if I could handle it. I hate this, all of it. It’s making me wish I never joined the PPC. I mean, can I not also be upset/hurt/angry over what happened, or is that a premium right reserved for those whose names are Iximaz??? Please, somebody. I just want to know why something of this magnitude happened over something so small.

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