Subject: You are in fact next on the list.
Author:
Posted on: 2019-03-20 19:32:00 UTC

However, I'd like a few things to be cleared up before I get started:

- Neither I nor Willis misinterpreted what hS did. We got that it was a joke. That does not change how it felt. And while Willis sort of assumed the worst from hS, I didn't. That's why I put this out in the open, because I believed it would help, whereas he thought that he'd just be mass-targeted in reply. By all the Boarders. I was not kidding about the bad taste in his mouth.

- Speaking of assuming, very bold of you to predict what I am going to do next! What if your prediction had not been correct? You would be the one assuming worse!

Now that we have that out of the way, first things first.

When I am emotionally vulnerable after having done something pretty wrong, and have made myself even more vulnerable by apologizing for my actions instead of running and hiding, I do not appreciate my apology being outright dismissed for being less than perfect. It makes me feel like I am not forgiven for my actions and like I have lost others' trust. Which is a terrible feeling.

When I am concerned, confused, or bothered by something and I voice my feelings, I do not appreciate having them dismissed as me needing to lighten up or stop questioning things. Let me remind you that "questioning things" is also how we try to do things, as you yourself said in response to my comment about the Star Wars prequels. Being dismissed makes me feel like I and my opinions and feelings don't matter. Which is also a terrible feeling.

And I definitely don't appreciate my age being guessed incorrectly. I'll have you know that when I was thirteen, I was worse. What you basically did was personally attack me and call me immature. Perhaps you should make fewer bold assumptions about your opponents in general, and let them have their say first.

I get that I need to change. I really do, especially if I ever want to visit Germany. But it will take time. I cannot just "drop it". And that is why I will be merciful to you, because I know you cannot simply "drop" a behavior either. If you would like to, you and I may in fact join together as compatriots in breaking bad habits - a tried-and-true method.

I would like an apology and I would like evidence that you understand what I am saying and where I am coming from. And then I would like you to work towards being more compassionate and, dare I say, peaceful. Don't take it personally, no matter how attacked this no doubt makes you feel. I see where you're coming from with these things and I believe in your ability to get better.

Thanks,
-Twistey

Reply Return to messages