Subject: Well, I like it.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-10-20 17:58:00 UTC

The two unnamed agents were fairly well characterized, which was one thing that I know is a problem with unnamed characters sometimes.

I noticed you had a lot of "as if" statements, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but something to be mindful of, because it affects your tone and your pacing without you realizing it. It makes statements less definite, and it can take the punch out of a paragraph.

However, if it were up to me, I'd hand you the internet and say go for it. Especially because skimming that sporkable fic is beginning to annoy me, less because of any specific errors than because the entire thing seems like it was barfed out at two a. m. without any respect for canon.

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