You know the Doctor's little speech about how he can feel the Earth rotating underneath his feet and see everything that ever was, is, and could be? That's kind of what having Celebi powers feels like. I didn't communicate with it so much as become one, either.

Tell your "certain someone" that I'm not qualified or designed (seeing as how I'm still technically human) to be a competitive battler. We're pretty sure I can use Confusion and Recover if you stretch the definition, but that's about it. :P

Hmm...I've never had one either. I hear they're stubborn, though. As long as you make it clear you're the boss and let him fight tough opponents, you should be OK.

Now I'm curious; how'd you get your Charmander?

Actually, Chris says I'm not allowed to use the laptop until I can set up the DVD player correctly without asking for help. I'd have a lot less trouble if we knew where the instruction manual was. (meaningful look at Chris)

It's not overly challenging, really. Most things I can just handle with my magic if I'm not sure about them. The console's not a problem; they thought ahead and gave it a touchscreen option that I use with the disguise generator.

Alloy: Papery, I suppose? It is not like I have much to compare it to. It can make it hard to shower, though. Thankfully, I can just put some plastic over it.

...aren't you? ;)


Alloy: I would not usually say this, but Ginger is absolutely a jerk. A confusing jerk who reminds me too much of that horrible Sue. And she named me without my permission, too! Who even does that? But that bridge is burned, I guess. It is better than Kayt. And she does seem to care about me to some degree, so I do have hope!

Ginger: She talks like a robot. A perky robot. She's not all bad, though. She's got good taste in books, I guess? Though those probably weren't her picks... ah, well. I'm stuck with her, and I guess I can deal with that.

Alloy: I am not sure. If fighting as I would in the RWBY continuum does not count, I would almost certainly win! If not, I would, well, still probably win, but it is possible I could get tripped up. Possibly literally.

Ginger: Uhh... I dunno. I mean, it's not like I'd preemptively admit defeat or anything, but Alloy's from a continuum full of crazy backflips and wall-running and stuff. Now, if she couldn't run... heh. I'd certainly have a chance.

Notwithstanding the fact that I can't use my armor during most missions, of course. But if anything, it helps me rely on strategy rather than brute force.

And before you ask, no, I didn't steal your Universal Translator. I don't have any item-stealing moves or abilities whatsoever. Honest!

"Actually my strength isn't derived from raw power in the same way that Mr. Incredible's is. It's momentum-based, meaning I'd have to get my body moving for any real impact. THAT SAID, though, I've accidentally hit my teammates a bit TOO hard every so often, which is why people get uncomfortable when I try to shoulder-punch them nowadays lest I send them through a wall or two! So the short answer to your question would be a solid yes. Unfortunately. I'm amazed it hasn't happened to Cupid or Lapis yet, but time will tell..."

Medical was specifically against the replacement hand until further notice. They were afraid that any residual glitter from my, uh, mishap from my fourth mission would get into any hypothetical cybernetic implants that I end up getting, and I'm not sure if they'll be able to get rid of it completely. I'll probably go back to Medical after a few missions with my current prosthetics and reevaluate my physical state. If they revise their prognosis so that I can get a new hand in the future, though, I'd be more than happy to take up your offer - especially because I've been meaning to sample Avatar-verse jasmine tea!

OH DEAR ARCEUS FIRE MY ONLY WEAKNESS NO GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME

*ahem* Yeah, I-I guess I could say hello. Just... be careful when you handle him and all. I don't like fire...

Also, a question I've been meaning to ask myself. Have you ever played the Pokemon games? If so, what generations are you familiar with? And can you sing the Kanto Pokerap?

For Falchion, (and Velociripper): What's it like being an author avatar?

[Ripper:] "Horrible."
[Falchion:] "Dude, no."
[Ripper:] "Your author used me as a tool to inflict grievous harm on multiple canons, both mentally and physically. I haven't forgotten that."
[Rashida:] "Please don't, you two."
[Falchion:] "But being an author's persona isn't all about seeing their past mistakes, Ripper. If I hadn't looked up my history and the history of my author, I wouldn't have had a clue as to how to complete my first mission. And I certainly wouldn't be in most of the fandoms that I'm in today."
[Rashida:] "Fair points, but that doesn't change the fact that your author made such an ass out of himself back then."
[Falchion:] "Rosie, we've all been like that at some point. Well, our authors have, anyway."
[Rashida and Ripper:] "True."

For all of RC #333: How's Lapis doing? Is she OK?
[Lapis:] "Oh, I'm perfectly fine... if it weren't for the fact that I, oh, lost my right hand AND my ability to teleport!"
[Sarah:] "Lapis, it was for your own good. If you'd kept those plot holes, who knows what would happen next time?"
[Cupid:] "Don't forget that without my intervention, there wouldn't BE a next time!"
[Lapis:] *sweatdrops* "You drunk-drove that Super Truck into the DoSAT. How can you call that intervention?"
[Cupid:] "I wonder what anime sweatdrops taste like?"
[Sarah:] "Cupid, stop it. Anyway, we're working on getting some prosthetics taken care of for Blue-Hair, since the lack of a hand would be an OBVIOUS hindrance to missions and the like. But we can't risk a permanent replacement, even a mechanical one. What if there was some residual glitter and it got inside?"
[Lapis:] "You took the words right out of my mouth, Sarah..."
[Cupid:] "You know, I think we should see Mad Max: Fury Road. From what I've heard, there's a major character in that movie that I'm sure you'll relate to."
[Lapis:] "I'd be willing to, if it weren't for two things. First, that movie is rated R, and I'm TWELVE. And second, if we get sent into a mission involving the Mad Max continuum, it'll be your fault."
[Cupid:] "Um, oops? Sorry, Lapis!"

For Salvo: What's Intelligence like? What do you guys do?
[Salvo:] "Oh, Intelligence? Pff, don't get me started. It's difficult, for a start, to move around in a badfic and not get noticed by the Sue in question. Especially when you're in a disguise in which you can't move in total silence, which is basically most of the disguises I have to pick when I'm sent in. We also have to endure the ENTIRE badfic in order to determine whether it's missionable or not. Not the easiest way of handling things. Lastly, there's the matter of the folks Upstairs sending missions to agents in action departments. I'm always worried that I'd submit an Intelligence report only to have it sent to the team who rescued me, because it would come off as being ungrateful. But hey, I'm not the one who takes care of who does what. So please, direct your complaints to the Flowers and not us if you're not happy about what you're supposed to do!"

[Ripper:] "For some of us, the PPC is our only home. We have no where else to go. So that means that being an agent at least gives us a chance to exist, to hunt, and to have posterity if we're lucky. It isn't an ideal habitat, to be fair, but being able to live my own life is more than I can ask for. I'm sure most of us would agree - even if some won't admit it."
[Sarah:] "I still hate you."
[Falchion:] "Yeah, well, we also get to meet a lot of new friends, and in due course patch up the old wounds in our relationships with our authors."
[Rashida:] "Assuming we HAVE authors, that is..."
[Falchion:] "And if we get to meet anyone from the same places we originated, we can have the time to make up for the rough times we went through with them."
[Rayner:] "I still have to question your choice to live with the guy who tried to murder your adopted sister, Falco..."
[E.V.L.] "This, coming from the person who tried to kill me and accidentally set up our life-bond? I see no perks. It's either being here or not existing at all."
[Cupid:] "Oh, c'mon, it's not the worst place to be in! They have the best wine in the multiverse, after all!"
[Alexander:] "But knowing your habits, it's lucky that angels don't have to worry about the risk of alcohol poisoning."
[Lapis:] "I'm not worried about that! If he gets drunk on the job, who knows what'll happen?"
[Sarah:] "It's not like he's never gotten drunk before. Remember our first mission?"
[Lapis:] "What, the one where Cupid pissed off Yveltal?"
[Cupid:] "It was NECESSARY! There was an entire Suvian army and I couldn't just pick them off one by one!"
[Salvo:] "Yes, but was bringing in the entire roster of newcomers for the fourth Smash Bros. really necessary?"
[Cupid:] "...No?"
[Salvo:] *sighs* "Didn't think so."
*beat*
[Falchion:] "Well... that escalated quickly."
[Rashida:] "Oh, shut up."

Vania: What? Are you asking if I'm mardy? Hah hah, no. Doc's about as romantic as scratchy lint from an old blanket, and we mostly use costumes instead of full disguises nowadays, anyway.

Oh, yes, I saw that little story posted on the lounge's bulletin board, and I know you wrote it. Guess I can't be surprised that in an organization full of fans, that some of them wind up shipping their coworkers, but still. Come off it. I mean, I have nothing against mardy couples, but . . . no. Just, no.

And I'm not wrought either.

* * *

Doc: No. You can't know. I mean, it's impossible! That was never published! I mean, I'm not a fic writer! Understand? There's nothing! No badfics!

. . . That's impossible . . . How could anyone know?

(Nice, hS! Actual foreshadowing! Mua ha ha ha ha!)

The shorts are from real world Kohl's. I'v just gotten really good and stuffing books safely inside them. After all, can't leave the house without something to read, right?

Plus, I hadn't even heard of Doctor Who until after I joined the PPC, so . . .

Séverine found some white celery from Bunnicula! Said it probably won't turn most agents into vampires!

Shipment of Slowpoke tails! Smell good! Like hot dogs!

Got a whole pantry of stuff in The Last of Us! Had mold spores on it, but Séverine bleached it all, so it's okay to eat!

Someone caught a giant enemy crab! They cooked the weak points for massive deliciousness!

Found a world made entirely of ketchup! It's going to be a good year!

Oh, and we still need to finish the meatloaf. Come on, agents! If it doesn't get eaten, it might go Slorp again!

I'm so excited! I can't wait to eat! How about you?

*pants*

Start doing that, and that's when truly horrible, soul-crushing badfic of it starts landing on your console. So I'm not going to.

That said, it's no secret that I'm a bit of a Tolkien buff. Got its hooks in me during my formative years and all that, same as Trek. There's no point in trying to put one above the other. They're both cornerstones of their genres, both revolutionary in their own way, both equally important.

For the record, I'm more of a sci-fi fan overall, but it doesn't show as much because authors like Asimov, Heinlein, Huxley, etc. are less comprehensible to the average idiot, ergo, knock on wood, there's less fanfic of their works. Let alone crossovers.

— Agent Supernumerary

(( Also, his author has been a bit tardy in reading all the important sci-fi novels/novellas/short stories out there, so she doesn't want to make any definitive statements she might later have to retcon. ))

I mean, we could theoretically put you in a bath and get you all squeaky-clean between patients, right? ^_~

Anyway, we're a psych ward. We don't see a whole lot of infectious diseases, so we're not terribly worried about transmitting anything from patient to patient around here. If you want to stop by and visit sometime, it's fine by me! If nothing else, you can play with my son (he's six years old sweet Powers where does the time go?) and/or Nurse Immac.

Cheers!

~Jenni

I have to live with my partner, of course, but he's pretty quiet when he's not trying to blow us up with his damn tinkering, he doesn't leave dirty socks and old pizza boxes lying around, and he's out of the RC pretty often these days, anyway. It's better than college.

For those times when you must leave the RC, however, I recommend a permanent scowl and a cold glare. If anyone tries to talk to you anyway, eviscerate them with your devastating wit, assuming you have such a thing, until they give up and go away. When forced against your will to work with others, stick to the job and get it done as quickly as possible so you can leave.

Oh, and always keep your palliative of choice on hand for emergencies.

— Agent Supernumerary

But, er, why? I mean, do I even know you?

Could you people at least try to be original? I've answered this one before. It's on record. No such thing as privacy here.

... Well, all right, "situation" isn't quite the same as "foe," so if we leave off everything that's tried to break me on purpose... Being in a Word World when it starts to collapse comes to mind. Being stranded with Agent Decima with a busted RA and trying to leap back to HQ via plotholes, that was fun. Being stuck in the response center with my partner for a month with macroviruses and Daleks trying to beat down the door, though that might be breaking the rules a bit. Being anywhere near the Hetalia continuum—I deserved the medal just for showing up, if you ask me. Sharing HQ with a bunch of kooky demi-god-like aliens with the maturity of two-year-olds in a sandbox...

What's the most dangerous situation...? I don't know, take your pick.

Oh, and by the way: Bleeprin. Neuralyzer. Memory Charm. Psychic intervention. Electroconvulsive therapy. Any knock to the head if you set it up right as per Legal. All ways to deal with troublesome memories available to us here in this fine institution. Tell your partner to suck it up and deal with it or quit before something REALLY bad happens to him.

— Agent Supernumerary

I can call you Bob, right?

... Wait, this feels awfully familiar. Why's that?

Oh, right! Because this dude had the same question last time around. The answer's pretty much the same, too. Water, fresh fish when we can get it, dragon kibble when we can't (and yes that is a thing, I know, surprised me, too); regular exercise that sadly doesn't involve nearly enough terrorizing of Sues and new recruits; taking him out to do his business so we don't end up with piles of glowing green dung in the RC; eck cetra.

Oh, and FYI, updated from last time, Skyrim is basically Vikings and therefore kicks all kinds of butt. Also the show Vikings, though it's this weird AU (I guess) where there's no dragons and it's all, like, seriously grim and creepy sometimes. Rollo is hot, though, so it's all good.

I wish I could say the best part about being in the PPC is not having to put up with invasive personal questions from random idiots, but that would be a lie, wouldn't it? Please imagine me glaring pointedly at you here.

— Agent Supernumerary

P.S. My partner threatened to morph human and play with the mini-replicator until I answered at least the first question properly. He won, so send him a prize or something. Preferably in the form of some goddamn pants.

Right. So. The best thing about the PPC is that it's not home. Given the choice between fiction and so-called reality—yes, even the bizarre, twisted manifestations of badfic—I'll take fiction any day. You can take that to the bank.

— Agent Supernumerary

(( Sorry, but if you thought you'd get an answer to the second question, you haven't been paying attention. ^_~ ))

Hello, Iximaz. I am composing the answers to your questions for both of us. Nume does not admit to wanting to have anything to do with this exercise, although I suspect he is more intrigued by the questions than he lets on.

We actually got into quite the discussion about your first question, but in the end we agreed it's best not to answer it. We fear that if we name any particular crossover, a badfic of it is sure to exist, whether or not it did before, and will then be sent to our console. In general terms, however, continua that have vastly differing tones and physical laws—say a silly children's cartoon and a hard sci-fi drama—would be particularly difficult to reconcile.

Nume says that he answered your second question the last time we answered letters. (He expressed this with more colorful language that I have chosen to omit.) I'll quote his previous response here: "Giving credit where it's due, Picard is the least terrible [of all the captains]. Kirk is Kirk, but I never liked him much. Don't see the appeal."

Agent Farilan? No, I don't believe I know anyone by that name. Should I?

I got used to it pretty quickly though. I never thought I would like tinkering with stuff this much...

Still, I do miss the action every once in a while, so I did everything I could to get allowed on the field again. There's always that missio nonce in a while where you need a techie on the field, and that's where you can always ask for Corolla!

Yes, rampancy is indeed a most pressing issue, especially as I enter what could be my last operational year. DoSAT is indeed looking into it, as is my own DIAU. I'm sorry to say that results so far have been unproductive. Attempting to meld technologies from different fandoms -- in my case, the Haloverse with anything else -- tends to create more problems than it fixes. While some sort of merger could fix the metastability problem, I could cease being Cornelius and become... something else. Other presented alternatives have not been palitable to my taste.

But the PPC has experts from across the mutliverse on its staff. I am confident that a solution will be found. I will do whatever I can to preserve myself against the onset of rampancy.

Gremlin here. Xericka's standing right behind me reading everything I write, so I suppose she is also technically here.

It's hard to say what the best thing that happened to me is. I've seen plenty of both good and bad. Maybe meeting Xericka? Hanging with her 24/7 is way better than a night of breaking and entering. She's surprisingly cool. (She audibly scoffed at that, by the way. And now she is telling me not to write that she scoffed. Or that she told me not to write that. And now she's glaring at me. I should probably move on.)

Xericka says the best thing that happened to her was adopting Aiden. I can't argue with that. He's adorable. Plus, Xericka makes a pretty good mom. (She just told me to stop issuing her bald-faced comments. Whatever.)

As for what we've been up to, we've been plenty busy. Just because you haven't heard about us running missions doesn't mean we haven't. If our feats of awesomeness haven't been getting any publicity, blame the archivists. I hear that job has a lot of churn. People going nuts and whatever.

Even when we're not on missions, we keep busy. Taking care of Aiden. Drinking to forget. Causing ruckuses. Ask around a bit more; you might hear a little something.

Xericka wants me to add that it's me who causes ruckuses, not her. She's being modest.

Now she's glaring at me again. Gotta dash.

*AND THERE WAS MUCH OOMPAH-RELATED REJOICING*

It ist feelink like ein big responsibility, my vord yes! But, as long as you are beink careful und do not take zer silly risks, it can be zer greatest of fun, my vord yes!

Until you are required to be vatchink zer Sues. Then it is, alas, not so fun.

"It is you who wastes my time. In short, there are none, because, leaving aside that the greatest possession of a Time Lord is the mind and power of their heritage, whatever any other abilities may be I will not possess them. It is like a mantis ant wishing they might breathe under eighty yards of molten rock. I care not for such fantasies and you would be wise to do the same."

So simple, but so effective! The surprise pie's one of the greatest gifts to clownkind! You can put it anywhere and everywhere - well, not quite everywhere if you're me because there are things I'm not allowed to touch or come within five feet of - and it's always, always, always hilarious. The pie's the greatest leveller we have.

"Is this why you keep throwing them at me, human?"

Eh, sorta. =oD

Und he is lookink like zis:



But only vhen he ist in ein realistic universe. Usually he ist lookink like zis:



Scyther ist zer titan uff zer Leetle Cup, vhere zey put zer Pokemon who are zer first stage uff zeir evolutionary line. Vizz zer proper investment, he occasionally rises into zer Rarely Used tier zat I am callink home!

*What follows is the protracted sound of screaming and a clown trying to sit on a slightly damp-faced Time Lady's head before she does anything more egregiously stupid than normal.*

"Human culture does not interest me in the slightest; what little I know of it comes from enforced familiarity with the inferior media created by World One's scrawl-and-daub merchants. I assume this is a link-"

---

[Twenty-seven seconds later]

---

"Uh, Notary... What happened to the console?"

"Leave."

"Have you been crying-"

"I said GET OUT!"

"Okay!"

"Before you do, though, take this to Agent Valon... or Kala, or Gabby, or Chakkik, they're all basically interchangeable. The RCs are listed on the top there."

"Sure! You know me, ever so helpful!" Wobbles shoved the receipt in her pocket and bounced off towards Valon's RC, her smile getting slightly wider as she heard the Notary's keening.

Y'know, it's like... there's one kid, Stacy. She's in the nursery. She was rescued from a badfic - an OC bit like me - and she was put in a wheelchair and just kinda left there 'cause the only reason she existed was to prove how sweet and kind the Sue was. She's pretty much nonverbal and she's almost totally unable to function, but she... she draws, and paints, and she enjoys that, and she's happy here. We think. Asking an AAT sufferer what kinda gadgets they wanna use is kinda like asking Stacie what her favourite dance steps are. It's, um, it's pretty insensitive. So don't do that please.

Also, there is a solution; don't use tech or go anywhere near it.

---

"No. And if I did, there are plenty of others salvaged from missions. I have a weapon."

What is the best type of paper, and why?

There is no such thing as a bad part of Gallifreyan culture, foolish human! We are the most noble race to ever exist in all the multiverses, and our shining cities were the hub of innovation and culture... *drones on*

"It ist mein collection uff zer music uff zer Biggenbrassenparpenthingen! Allow me to be demonstratink for you all!"

---

[[What follows is eight hours of oompah music, played at Coca-Cola volume. For those unfamiliar with the turn of phrase, this is the kind that can actually dissolve the listener's teeth.]]

"It is your purview to analyse new Time Lord agents for potential Suvian traits. Those are all the forms you'll need, along with hardcopies of every mission report she's ever filed, details of her mission to Rose Potter - in, if you'll pardon the phrase, exacting detail - and a little light reading to get you fully up to speed on the changes to the forms since their inception a few years ago. That, for reference, is the really big pile. I had to work out a lot of the kinks. The majority of the data is passlocked - there's a test at the end of the paperwork change details, and if you score 100% on it, you pass, and the work on Agent Dives's assessment can begin. It's simply standard procedure. I trust you'll be able to cope.

"As for how I got into your bed, I regret it immensely but you must understand how lonely life on a mission can be..."

"Hardly. I merely treat them as their innate inferiority requires me to; if this offends, then there is nothing I can do to change that."

Gosh, I'm lucking out with these questions! =oD

But yeah, everything's wonderful at the PPC! It certainly beats where I came from, but you didn't ask me about that so I won't bore you. I guess the best thing was getting my own show, though, because that way I get to make so many people happy! Especially all the boys, girls, and everything-elses in the Nursery. I love to visit them and be silly for them, it really brightens up their day - and mine! =oD

---

"Filing. Next question."

All you gotta do when you see a frown coming is turn the other cheek an' walk the other way! That way everything's bright and sunshiney for ever! =oD

---

"... That came from Dives, didn't it."

"I have no idea."

"I'd disagree, but I suppose that is your normal state of being..."

Now regarding your actual question, mostly I don't use it. I don't have have the skill level to generate water blades with the precision required for my job, and hydraulics don't actually use water, they use oil.

That doesn't mean is not useful in certain situations, like for cleaning pieces using soapy water, drying by removing the water from them, cooling engines faster, and making a nice clean tea while working.

... on 'Suicidal' difficulty. I take more time on lower difficulties, holo-robots take more time to respawn y'know. Nurse Chan says that I take that much, 'cuz I spend too much time trashing 'bots, but it's just so fun to do it!

Uh... Does my pet, Lizzie, count?

And my homefic... well, it was never actually written...

Yuuna:
What does that euphemism mean? Family, lover, boyfriend? Whatever, the answer would be "No" on all counts anyway. Although I do [CENSORED, 'CUZ SPOILERS!].

My homefic? *sigh* It was written by a native Japanese speaker, with a very tenuous grasp of English grammar, a worst grasp of American culture and no knowledge of the Marvel Earth-616 continuum; you do the math.

Shui-Hua:
My gadgets and experiments. Don't you dare touch anything!

Homefic!? I proudly come from the Main Avatar-verse, where I was just a random background character. Unless you consider The Legend of Korra fanfic, which in that case, well I have bad news for you.

"... Hey Yunie. What's the scariest thingy we ever got in a mission?"

Yuna: *facepalms and groans*

Solvig: "What?"

Yuna: *smacks Solvig on the forehead and clears her throat* "Now, whoever-you-are, that question would be easier to answer, if, you know, we actually have gone to a mission." *pause* "What do you mean if I went to missions for SHIELD?" *starts fidgeting uneasily* "I... uh... have never gone in a mission for SHIELD either. I... was kept in desk duty..." *Solvig snorts and starts laughing in the background* "Shut up..."

An' da secret to'a propaly made shrunken head is love. Ya gotta love ya work, ya know? Den, and only den, can ya have de attention ta detail necessary ta cut off ya enemie's head, skin it, magically shrink da skull, an put it all back tageder in a cruel mockery intended ta trap da soul.

Just gotta have love.

-Barid

I don't really know how much help I can be on this. I don't remember much about the events of my future. Everything is really hazy and my head hurts. But, listen... You've got to get me out of here so I can fix what you're talking about! They've got me locked up and --Connection Terminated--

You're mucking with something that didn't need mucking with. The timeline was perfectly fine the way it was before y'all tried to 'fix' it. I mean, yes, sure, the Sundering was a bit of a mess - but we bounced back! We got better! The PPC of my time is, I think I can say without fear of being biased, simply better than it was before the House of Rhodes was broken. You should've all just-

Wait, hang on, you don't look like the Gen- um, Gaspard I've been chatting with. What timeline am I in, anyway?

... right, sorry about that, there's been a type 3b acute timelike slippage. Grandad? Get me out of here, I don't want to make things even worse...

[WHOOMF]

That's quite a question, lad. I dinnae think I've the time tae get intae all the political nuances recquired tae answer that tae the fullest extent. However, I will say that I ne'er liked Garrosh as Warchief. I could respect Thrall, but not that hot-headed child.

-Brightbeard

*composure breaks for a half second* Prophet Velen... Even if he was of the alternate timeline, I... You know what, I think I will leave it for Master Brightbeard and the troll to answer.

Barid: Da Pandaren are'a bunch'a weirdos if ya ask me. What's da point'a all dat meditatin' anyway? Now, don' get me wrong, I do like dere beer, an' all. Just wish dey'd pick'a sida a'ready.

Brightbeard: Neutraliy can be a double-edged sword. I mean, sure, ye dinnae have any real enemies; but do ye have any real friends? It takes a great amount of balance and effort, which the oddly named "DoubleAgent" seems tae have.

-Time War question.

First time I regenerated into the opposite sex? To be perfectly honest, I was mainly preoccupied with two things: a, that I was finally off Gallifrey, and b, that Gallifrey was gone and there'd been an unbelievably vast war. Somewhere in there was all the confusion about having longer hair and different balance and a larger chest and all, but...it kind of took second place to everything else.

Of course, the second time I regenerated into a female body--which wasn't actually that long after--I...well, I was still trying to deal with Gallifrey's destruction, but there was also this stray thought that this body felt rather nice. A good weight, you know? Long hair, sure, but the interesting sort. And good hands. I like these hands. They can do a lot.

So. Considering I went from 'skinny student' to 'slightly stronger and on the run' to 'why do I have a different body now this is horrible timing' to 'hey, I have a body that feels comfortable and isn't injured'...

Well. Let's just say that, so far, this regeneration has been working out well for me, at least physically.

Any other questions? I'm here all night. [dramatic arm sweep]

-R

I...wouldn't quite say that I participated in it, exactly, but...I was on Gallifrey. I was still in the Academy when it started, and then, when it got really bad, I left to find a way off the planet. Didn't happen too quickly, though, and then things got really bad, and--

Well. Long story short, I regenerated twice and escaped with a TARDIS. And then I ended up in HQ. Where I regenerated again. Excuse me, I'm just going to...uh, go...do paperwork, yeah...

-R

((The third regeneration happened on a mission, not due to a crash-landing or something. ~DF))

Kaitlyn: Uh... Intelligence sent me the reports, so I had to do them? And I'd love it if everyone else did their jobs too?

OH WAIT you mean the reports and the concrit, don't you? Well, I just thought: most authors aren't actually villains, so why not try to help them? If anyone knows about their fics, it's the people who've been inside them! So I decided to help out. Simple as that, really!

~K~

((I guess this is really a question for me, maybe? My answer is that... basically I was fed up with every new recruit to the PPC being from TVTropes and not actually being a writer. ^_~ I wanted something PPC to be up on Fanfiction.net, so that fanwriters could find us again. I also wanted it to be something that presented the best face possible for the PPC - hence the concrit, and the use of 'Suvian' rather than any gender-specific terms.))

~

Huinesoron: Working in the PPC is like standing in the Siege of Angband, with one important exception: portal technology means we, not they, control when we have to meet the foe. No more surprises; I like that.

So it is a fulfilling duty. It's still dangerous, of course - my work consists of hunting down the creators of abberent geography and putting an end to them, of course it's dangerous! - but each mission is a strike against the Suvians who plague our world. I think that's worthwhile.

hS

Legolas is down in FicPsych right now, and he is far more amazing than I am.

[Cue Agent Kaitlyn dropping out of the ceiling]

Kaitlyn: Wow, Hawky was right, that's really useful. Wh-? Oh, it's you! Stopped being all arrogant yet?

Huinesoron: I... uh... I think so? I'm certainly trying.

Kaitlyn: Good stuff! So what's up?

Huinesoron: You'd know; you just came from there.

Kaitlyn: [Narrows eyes] I can't tell if that was a joke, a snide remark, or ignorance of a common idiom.

Huinesoron: ... what?

Kaitlyn: The third, then. I meant, what's goi- what's happening?

Huinesoron: Oh. This... person who is probably not inferior to the Eldar unless she proves herself so was asking me about being fabulous.

Kaitlyn: Yeah, trying too hard there. So what did you say?

Huinesoron: That Legolas was more fa- something funny?

Kaitlyn: Ah... I don't think that's quite what she meant by 'fabulous'.

[A muttered conversation ensues]

Huinesoron: ... ah. Then... I don't know? Fairly... normal, for me? I'm not sure why that's a question.

Kaitlyn: You... are utterly hopeless.

hS & ~K~

Ancient stars, but I'm tired of hearing that description. Look, the whole mystical 'ooh, I'll hide my name and take a The Title to show that I'm a rebel' thing is just... silly. Why would you do that? I'm Morgan. It's short, it's simple, people can both spell and say it.

But okay, sure, let's see: how about the Morrigan?

Excuse me, that's not what I just typed. I think my TARDIS is playing games with me. I typed 'the Wanderer'. For me in this incarnation, it's quite apt.

But not for my prior regenerations. My first body in the PPC would probably love to be 'the Assassin' or 'the Protector'. And as for Second Me - can we say 'the Bimbo', or is that too mean? (Can't believe I didn't fix the Avon Rift first time around. Honestly, Past Me...)

(M)

Everything can be solved by fire, or rather, by the correct application of fire.

Take for example my recent... instability. You might think that fire would be useless in that situation - but Dafydd made excellent use of it in getting me out of FicPsych, and once I had the Key, the mental equivalent to lightning was exceptionally gratifying.

~SMLPXW

No, in all honesty, one of the best things about the Continuity Council is that they aren't all that fond of doing anything. More so than the High Council back home, sure (but rocks are more active than the High Council). But ultimately, when one of the Continuity Council suggests a ridiculous course of action, what they really want is for people to disagree with them so they can have a nice bicker.

Plus, on the few occasions when we've actually needed to do something, I think we've turned out rather well.

(M)

Ja, ich möchte eine Umarmung, aber nicht von Ihnen. Ich würde lieber sehen meine Frau, nicht Sie.

Aber vielen Dank für das Angebot.

>Mort

Selene: Ugh. Don't. Just... don't.

Kaitlyn: Nah, Selene's not so bad. She's just a bit highly strung. She- hey, did she answer a question too? Ooh! I wanna see!

...

... wow. Um, didn't see that coming.

Selene: What?

Kaitlyn: I... nothing, I just... thought we were getting along well.

Selene: We are. Why?

Kaitlyn: Well, your answer...

Selene: I was objecting to the characterisation of you as a 'perky hobbit-lover', as if you - or anyone - could be summed up by three words-

Kaitlyn: But I am a perky hobbit-lover. Er, liker.

Selene: ... true. Very well, then, to answer the question: she could be a lot worse. Kaitlyn is a competent agent, and I think our skillsets complement each other well.

Kaitlyn: Compliments aren't something you're good at, are they?

Selene: Mm... nope.

~

Dafydd: Connie! An owl just dropped a letter down the chimney! Did Tanfin turn eleven while I wasn't looking?

[Inaudible reply]

Dafydd: That's what I thought, I was just... oh, never mind. Let's see...

... Connie! Do you know an 'Izimax'?

[Inaudible, somewhat irritated reply]

Dafydd: Right, right, sorry. Well, to answer the question, we're all doing fine. We decided to stop at five children, so I won't be beating Dad any time soon. Tanfin is... actually probably advanced enough to start at Hogwarts, if that was a thing that was going to happen (which it isn't); he's eight, but he takes after my side of the family, and we Eldar mature quickly in spirit. The girls are more like their mother-

[Inaudible comment]

Dafydd: - by which I mean perfectly lovely violent lunatics. How's that?

[Inaudible, amused comment]

Dafydd: Right. And Oleander's two, so he's a screaming sociopath like all two-year-olds.

hS

How is that even a question?

Aside from a multitude of works you have not heard of, I find a particular Narrative of Existence somewhat amusing do to personal reasons.

I don't want him to get any more... irritated. I have to live with him, remember?
Anyway:
-The Librarian doesn't 'hate everything'. First, there are a few things he actually likes - books, computers, his Tablet, etc. Second, he doesn't hate the majority of things he doesn't like; he just thinks they're not worth of his time, or inferior, or barbaric, or a nuisance, or... you get the idea.
-I think it has something to do with cataloguing of knowledge. Not sure, though.
-He didn't tell me his real name and I'm not planning on asking, but I'd figure it's not 'Alfonso' - he's a Time Lord, not an ape, as he might say.
Now excuse me while I go wash my mouth, saying that made me feel ill.

Des: Good tea has no single defining trait. It is a mixture of traits that makes one brew heavenly and the other - unworthy of the name.
Librarian: Why, the inherent superiority, of course.

I suspect that this memory-related quest - 'riddle' is a misnomer; its scale is too large for it to consist of but a single one - would let me reach that which I require.
It only has to do with my past only as much as any other long-term undertaking has, so to speak.

((One wonders what they do all day. Do their gadgets come in plain brown envelopes? >=] ))

Time is a weird concept here in HQ. You should try to find RC 3-Apple-14 - you'd end up in log e, no doubt, and might even find me there.

That question does not merit an answer.

Valon: Haven't the foggiest! Never been in a relationship before, guess I can learn as I go! Not every guy gets to date an industrial-class version of nature's very own tank. Besides, I have less reason to be jealous of normal people now!

Kala: Well, he'll probably freak out a bit less on missions. He really likes hugs, hand-holding and cuddling, so at least I know how to calm him down.

Ohai, shades of me. Valon's mention of jealousy? Yeah. I envy anyone that's in a working relationship, because it feels like they've got something I'm missing.

As for what Kala's talking about, that's also true of me. I like physical contact, but the problem is that I don't think that anyone would be comfortable with me hugging them.

Valon's also going to get a vasectomy, because childfree for life.

We girtablilu are immune to our own venom. You wouldn't believe how often we accidentally sting ourselves as kids. Our own legends say that dragons aren't bothered by it, but I have yet to test that.

As for scorpion predators... I don't like them. I'm not really scared of them, because they're generally creatures I could kill without even noticing them, but still. I just want them out of my field of vision.

Chakkik: the smauglock stu that gabby and myself encountered in our second mission. had the stu not woken ancalagon, we may not have survived the encounter.

Gabby: Nah, Chak's exaggerating. We just had to get out of Ancalagon's way.

Kala: Our first mission. I didn't know at the time, but apparently the replacement Alex Mercer was about to level our surroundings. We were very lucky.

Valon: *curls up in a ball and shudders* hands... on throat... can't see... let go...

Chakkik: the loss of my natural abilities. \ i can understand being unable to cast gem missile, as i have no connection to gnome in most continua. however, the inability to breathe acid on my foes is quite irksome.

Gabby: If you're flashy and colorful, I'm in! Addie has magical glowy bullet spam, but she says everyone in her world can do that.

Kala: Probably our fourth mission. All of it.

Valon: I was curious. As for what surprised me the most, probably the increased sensitivity to emotions. I'm not sure if they were stronger or not, but I felt them more than I normally do.

Zeb: Well, most of the time, it's pretty fun, until you get a Sue actively trying to kill you instead of the other way around. Then it's flat-out terrifying. I've had my remote activator's speed dial set to Medical since-- since Rose Potter, just in case. *he falls quiet for a moment* The rest of the time, it's pretty cool, though!

Gabrielle: AHH! A Pikachu! You're so cute can I hug you can I can I please please please??? Oh, right, sorry, I'll answer your question! Anyway, Doktor and I get some really weird stuff-- I mean, we are in WhatThe-- but it's a lot of fun getting to see the characters in real life and getting to help them out!

And sure! My partner's called me Zebbie-O before, Zebbie-zeb is fine with me!

Anyway, yeah, I just love the storyline, the worldbuilding, the history, the Ancient Language— What do you mean, thinly-veiled maniac?! Eragon is a great hero!

*goes off to sulk*


Rina: Um, yeah, I should have warned you, he gets snippy when someone insults his hero. *mutters* I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Now he's going to sulk for a week, thanks a lot.

I haven't seen one of you in person! *waves* You and the little Flareon took out Christmas Cuppa, right? Rina won't let me look at the mission report, but well done!

Um, anyway, as for your question, it really depends on the Sue in question. Some of them require a lot more strategy to kill than others. I like to use Thunder Wave to incapacitate them, whenever possible, but other status moves would be nice if I had them. Really, just go with your instincts. They're usually pretty reliable.

Rina: Us, awesome? *snorts* Please.

Zeb: Aw, come on, it's nice to get some recognition!

Rina: And we could do with less. Eh, anyway. We actually don't have that many missions done compared to other agent teams. We've just had more mission reports released to the public. I've actually been on a lot more missions than what you've seen— I mean, being an agent is a 24/7 job— but they weren't really noteworthy enough to read.

Zeb: Yeah, considering we've gotten about a mission a day since I arrived, barring the longer ones, and I've been here for a little over a month... *does some math* I've been on about twenty missions so far, including Rose Potter. I dunno about Rina, though.

Rina: *shrugs* Several hundred. I stopped counting after Randa and I hit triple digits.

Zeb: Well, potions seal up the wound until the trainer can get us to a Pokémon Center.

Rina: Heck if I know. Open bag, click "use potion" and bam, regain hit points.

- - -

Zeb: Hm, I dunno. Maybe that one time Legolas simultaneously held a Sue at arm's length and hugged her? His arms turned into noodles.

Rina: Two words: Misspelled. Lion.

Rina: *mutters something*

Oh, okay! Um, well, since apparently Harry Potter spells are based off of Latin, that sounds cool- no, wait! The Ancient Language from Eragon! Well, only if they teach that. ^^;

Rina: *goes storming off*

Zeb: Oh, no, I'm not cut out for all that romance-y stuff, but I think it would sure be cool if Rina and the Librarian got together. He just needs to realize he's not as mean as he'd like everyone to think.

Zeb: I'd have to say your guys' mating rituals. All the little nuances still seem to escape me... As for evolving, your whole body starts to feel all tingly, and then suddenly you glow really bright and the next thing you know, you're in a new body! I guess it's a bit like regeneration, but not painful.

Rina: Something that can fly, so I guess a hippogriff?

Zeb: Well, it was really weird at first, especially the bipedal thing, but you get used to it. I must say, though, opposable thumbs are a nice bonus.

As for other disguises, I've been a Lord of the Rings orc before, but it was just once and for a short time, so I don't have much of an opinion on that one. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen much variety.

Rina: Hm, that's a toughie, since the job kind of sucks. I guess, really, just getting to see all the different continuua I grew up with. Being able to protect them makes the job worth it. Then there's being able to work with a good partner like Zeb. He's pretty cool.

Zeb: Oh, easy, getting to meet Rina and all sorts of other people! Getting to read books is also really cool, I never got the chance back home.

Direct your compliments to my parents: I didn't do anything. Baby, I was born this way.

With respect to the Continuity Council... ugh. Let's go though the list, shall we?

The Fisherman - Never met the man but I hear he's very mellow. He's the Ruby Shipwright too-- that means he knows his way around a TARDIS. On paper he sounds like the kind of guy you want to hang around. Let's hope it's like that in real life.

Morgan - I once disagreed with her club's mission and she's taken it quite personally. We met a few times in the hallways-- exchanged greetings and cold stares. She's not openly hostile, though.

The Reader - Aside from meeting her at Rudi's once and my little chat with her a few hours ago I haven't had much contact with her. She seems like a nice person, though. She's even agreed to let me work on her TARDIS! I tried pinning down her model: it's either a Scendles Type 77 and or a Cerulean Type 99-- my chapter's TARDISes-- but I need to physically get a look at how the Console is wired to confirm my suspicions.

The Librarian - Coward. Deserter. Honorless. I have little respect for a man who wilfully abandons his unit in battle.

The Disentangler - Never met her.

The Agent - I saw him eating at Rudi's once through the pub's windows. I would've introduced myself but there was a Suvian shooting at me at the time.

The Notary - No comment.


So... possibly four friendly people out of seven. I'd like to meet them all at least once to see what they're like-- and I never want to lay eyes on the Notary ever again.

He's strangely relatable on quite a few levels, actually. No idea about the other characters, though. I can google that, though, gimme a minute... ah, I see.

Yeah, no. Eeyore it is.

Harris: Do a little small talk, ask her out on a date, hope everything goes right. Isn't that what people do?

Gaspard: A girl calling me attractive? It's an obvious trap. Why else would anyone pay attention to me? Look: I've got crappy looks and a crappier personality. That's a formula for pure people repellant.

Harris: Oh, come on. You don't look that bad.

Gaspard: How many people do you know have cystic acne so bad it says "please kick me" on their foreheads in zit-braille?

Harris: Um... only you, actually. But come on: you'll find someone--

Gaspard: Oh yeah? Some girl just right for me is just going to appear in my life, ignore my flaws, and live Happily Ever After? This isn't how real life works, Harris. You gotta put effort into it. I've got to stop looking and acting like crap before even considering being presentable. But "comfort zone", right? Let's face it: I'm not ready yet. Gotta grow up first.

Harris: If you say so.

- - -

Emiranlanoamar: No time. Work to do. Maybe in the next fifty years?

"Hey, Naya. I thought that we were having the Q&A with the PPC Boarders and their agents. Why is work popping up on my screen?"

"Just answer it, will you?" said the quarian as she fiddled with the RC's clean room controls. "So, what's up?"

"Some poor soul doesn't know where he is. I'll get it."

"All right. I'll be taking a shower in the clean room. Message my Omni-tool if you need me."

"Gotcha. I should be back soon."

"Mmh."

The Guardsman cracked his knuckles and wrote his reply:


"Greetings, Earl Algernon. Don't panic: you're probably in one of the most secure places in the multiverse right now. You've most likely stumbled across a hole in the fabric of the universe and fell into our Headquarters-- again, don't worry, you've contacted the right people. It'll be much easier for me to explain the situation to you in person than over this messaging service so how about I swing by and give you the tour? I've got your location logged on my machine and I can use a portal to get to you quickly."

The Time Lord glanced to a side screen and typed in a command. Okay. So this Earl was messaging him from a vacant RC. No problem. He turned back to his email.

"I'll be at the door to the room you're in by the time you finish reading this message. I won't keep you waiting, I promise! I look forward to meeting you in person."

The Guardsman signed his email and sent it. He rose from his seat, sidestepping various bits and pieces of electronic components scattered all over the floor as he made his way to his RC's front door. Once there he took his Inverness coat and tricorn from the coat rack and put them on. He dug in his pockets, fished out his RA, and plugged in the coordinates to the RC where the Earl was waiting. "Terabyte, hold the fort while I'm out, please!" he called as he stepped through his portal.

- - -

((Sorry for the delay. I had a rather busy morning.

Ooh, new agents. They certainly sound very interesting! I can't wait to see what you'll cook up for them.))

Gaspard: Harris. Harris, wake up, there's questions for us.

Harris: [Snoring]

[Slapping noise]

Harris: Ow! I'm up! I'm up! Jeez! Okay. What do we have here... ah. Hello, Solvig. Let's see... Gaspard, can you zoom the thingy? I can't see a thing... ah, thanks. "Shining knight... perverted drunken angel..." when did this happen again? Well, Sonia and I have a fruitful partnership but I sometimes she gets in harm's way and then I have to--

Gaspard: Purim party.

Harris: What?

Gaspard: She's the girl at the Purim party. I saw you out of the CMC's peripheral cameras. You pulled Cupid off her. You know, the angel boy who shoved his face in her chest?

Harris: Oooooooooh. Well, I was only doing what was right, y'know. Good member of society and all that.

Gaspard: Food? Beef shawarma wraps, hands down. You have to make sure you get the pickled beets and the garlic sauce-- otherwise it's not a real shawarma.

Harris: Wait a minute, is she flirting with me?

Gaspard: What?

Harris: Look at the message: she winked me!

Gaspard: Yeah, so?

Harris: People don't talk about knights in shining armour, damsels in distress, and then wink in normal conversation. Is it flirting?

Gaspard: Don't look at me. This never happened to me before.

Harris: Yeah, me neither.