Subject: Nicely done!
Author:
Posted on: 2012-10-09 18:51:00 UTC
From reading your mission, that badfic really needed destroying - and you did it well. And the agents getting used to pony bodies - absolutely brilliant! Well done!
Yes, it's finally up and running! Caroline and Veralyn's first mission with the PPC lands them in the middle of the Rainbow Factory, and chipper little Caroline is finally pushed too far.
Part One (in which our heroes discover that having four feet is NOT like crawling on your hands and knees):
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1jQUuKqgSdnrZiQDuvB1WRTavX3S96z2xAUUpfkcl474
And Part Two (in which Caroline's temper boils over with some rather painful consequences for a certain Replacement!Sue):
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1alHz7j-TNDdy0fPS4PzwdYS3j4vD6B_2pg7we18jjVw
Thankies again to Riese for co-writing part two with me and doctorlit for beta-ing both parts. -giant huggles-
...and you probably aren't, but Im'ma tell you anyway. As soon as I get my wireless connection back, Im'ma post a copy of the mission on Dreamwidth, which was my initial plan anyway. There'll be a link to the Dreamwidth version on Caroline and Veralyn's pages on the wiki when that happens.
/does not like Google Docs at all.
Reading the mission, it was really well written. I'd say more, but the people who have posted before me have put it in better words. I do believe the interactions between Caroline and Veralyn was one of the things that got my attention. The rather heated bickering between them made them pretty interesting, and real.
All in all, this was a very enjoyable mission to read.
Yesh, those two have a violent love-hate relationship - it'll be fun to see how they handle their first Warcraft mission! XD
Glad you enjoyed the mission!
Very nice work. Thank you so much for killing this abomination. :)
From reading your mission, that badfic really needed destroying - and you did it well. And the agents getting used to pony bodies - absolutely brilliant! Well done!
Yes, the decent grammar and spelling in this one did not excuse what was done to the characters. I'm happy to have been the one to take it down!
Finally! This has been a long time coming, and it's a great mission. Here are my thoughts on the mission, in no order.
One thing: I thought the disguise thingy automatically fixes it so that Agents can pick up things like walking or flying really quickly--one of my agents, Tera, was able to adjust to missing 3 of her eyes and a tail thanks to that.
Oh well, it's an entertaining sequence.
Interesting--I think another agent, I forget who, was supposed to die in their home fic. But since they didn't they had ridiculous bad luck all the time.
The Ritual of Activation of Ancient And Possibly Cantankerous Machine-Spirits was quite funny.
Hm... Honestly, I'm not sure if the violent deaths of the Proctors, Caroline ripping off Replacement Dash's wings, and death by grinder violate the laws on torture.
Wait, Caroline was missing her cutie mark? I didn't know that.
All in all, this was a good mission. Nice job.
I'm still not sure quite how the disguise generator works, but either way that was one thing I knew I wanted to write: Caroline and Veralyn scrambling about like newborn foals. It was much fun.
The Activation of the...that whole thing was all Riese. I've no idea if he made it up or got it from somewhere else, but I enjoyed it, too.
Hmm... the Replacement Dash's wing was torn off initially, but I thought I'd changed that so that it was just dislocated instead? But maybe, if I did, that wasn't made clear in the description. And there were a lot of violent bits and only two - three, when Kilroy showed up - and Veralyn's stunt with the SO had deprived Caroline and Veralyn of weapons for this mission. And I doubt the mini-Discord caused the bits any pain when he inverted their wings - the real Discord took Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's wings OFF and all they did was freak out about losing them. Still, maybe the bit judges could have been taken out a bit more neatly...
Yes, since none of the agents were described as having cutie marks, in my mind they never had any. :D
Glad you enjoyed the mission!
Thank you for taking care of this mess! It's bad fanfiction like this one that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with some people!
Also, why was the sacrificial lamb pony named after the author? Is it a sadomasochistic kind of thing?
Eh, whatever... glad this piece of crap was finally taken care of...
The best I can figure is that this was either the first fanfiction they uploaded, so they named their account after their favorite character in out (which is...yeah), or they wrote another story - either on Fimfiction or somewhere else - where Aurora doesn't die so hard, and named their account after that Aurora.
Aurora Dawn raised a few eyebrows, yes. No, we have no idea why she did it. Well. I Don't - Kitty might.
No, seriously, it is.
There are so many things I love about this mission: Caroline's stand against Veralyn's attitude, rescuing Aurora Dawn and Orion, Kilroy and his 40k-related vocabulary, and the purging of the Factory. You've even managed to integrate humour into this piece, a remarkable achievement for a fic so dark.
You've even picked up on some charges Gaspard missed out on during his Intel run. Looking back on it, I can't believe I've managed to miss those...
In my opinion, the only thing that weighed this mission down was the more-violent-than-usual assassination.
You did a wonderful job with this. Have some Seasons of War, performed by the London Philharmonic Orchestra.
One last thing: if it's all right with you and if she's up for adoption, may I please have Aurora Dawn? I promise to take good care of her!
Yay! I'm glad it didn't seem too sappy or 'emo' - by the end of part two, I was ready to see a psychiatrist or sommat. Happy Scootaloo/Rainbow Dash pictures were making me cry. I spent the next three days alternating between running through the entirety of MLP: FiM (again) and killing things in World of Warcraft.
As a side note, my level 74 blood elf huntress gained four levels that week - totally not because I kept killing dungeon bosses I no longer needed to kill. At all. She is also mysteriously exalted with Silvermoon City - totally not because she was wearing the Silvermoon tabard during her dungeon runs.
Yes, the assassination was a bit more brutal than they usually are, although it was almost even worse - I think having Riese there to keep me sane during part two is the only thing that kept me from going into grimdark territory.
Hey, of course you can have Aurora - just so long as Caroline can pay her a visit now and then!
It's always a good thing to have inter-spinoff interactions. Just one thing: I think Aurora Dawn had red in her mane. At the part where her wings give away, the crowd saw a "blur of yellow, green, and red" plummet to the ground.
Thanks again for letting me have her. Now I gotta start working on an introduction piece for Fire Flash and Taldaris...
By the way, what are you planning to do with Orion?
Agent Caroline, that is, not...you know what I mean. XD
Nope - the author has a picture of Aurora as his/her icon on Fimfiction. No red in her mane that I can see - although her wings ARE bandaged in the icon and the story, so maybe that red was blood from her wings getting messed up? -shudders-
I'm not sure what I'll do with Orion yet; if ye have a good idea for him, you're welcome to have him, too. I'd probably just make him an All-Purpose agent, which feels horribly unoriginal.
*Checks picture*
I see. Must have been blood, then. Dammit, why do people write things like this?
Just how old are the two rescued pegasi, anyways? I've always imagined this abomination story set seven or eight years in Scoots' future, but the fic is rather vague about this.
As for Orion, thanks but no thanks. He can go to whoever wants him.
Because they enjoy murdering cute, innocent things with violence, sexual themes, and kid-unfriendly insanity? -shrugs-
I have too, but none of them are ever mentioned to have cutie marks and at least one - Scootaloo - is called a foal to her face, so I'm not sure. I'd say maybe the MLP equivalent of young teenagers??
So my phone hates the wiki. To the point that I can't link the story anywhere. Or edit anything in general.
-sobs-