Subject: So - backing up a step here...
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Posted on: 2019-07-05 07:53:00 UTC

There's definitely a spectrum, from "genuinely good-faith, trying-to-learn questions" through "exhausting labor that really could be asked of Google instead" and "veiled demands for assurances that the demander isn't a bad person" to "bad-faith attacks on peoples' rights."

I don't have a good word for the middle there, for all that it's very definitely a thing. Your description there is really good - one of the hallmarks of our Very Enlightened and Totally Post-Prejudice Privileged Majority is wanting to sit down and civilly debate other peoples' experiences and rights and existences. And that feeds systematic injustices, as you've noted, because people keep wanting to find a nice civilized compromise...

Yeah, "asking questions is violence" is itself a position to be far more careful with than I was in that (rather hyperbolic) paragraph. Sharing knowledge is, in the abstract, a good thing. But... it's a spectrum. There are "questions" that are, as NewKryptonite said, rhetorical - they exist to carry a message that's harmful, that incites violence, and the people asking them from the very darkest end of the spectrum have gotten rather good at using those midpoints as cover. (To the point where, on the other side, people like me are hyper-vigilant for questions that smell like such. And someone pointing at a fictional woman and saying "maybe she isn't clean," is... wow.)

-Delta, tossing a few more thoughts into the processor, in hopes that they'll help explain her reactions earlier

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