Re: mission by
doctorlit
on 2019-07-08 17:47:00 UTC
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So I skipped the initial Zaph+Faust intro to avoid spoilers for Good Omens, and I was debating not reading this one too, but then I realized it was dumb to put off reading an entire spin-off that way, so that's why this took me so long.
I'm short on time, so very quickly:
Excellent find of a badfic to send a demon and angel into. I really enjoyed seeing both "species's" takes on some of the things happening in the fic, and the general characteristics of the Supernatural world. Also liked the witty interplay between the agents, and the humor derived from Zaph's naivety.
I assume Zaph's sword got replaced with an angelic sword from Supernatural canon?
Errors, might be repeats, no time to read HG's comment:
"'This must be the remote,' he said after a moment, tossing the box in his hand once and catching it deftly before tucking it into a jacket pocket before taking another look around the RC."
Just an awful lot simultaneously happening in this sentence, maybe split it up a bit?
"'Sam wouldn’t hear her out, and then she came back in the coma patient’s body to offered her help in tracking down Lilith and getting Sam his revenge.'"
Dat verb tense, yo.
—doctorlit really is sorry for the shortness, many weekend plans. Byeeeeee!
Still catching up by
Hieronymus Graubart
on 2019-07-04 12:23:00 UTC
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Then the stakes got so big that the driving arcs were about which character they were going to resurrect this season.
Wouldn’t you usually say "so high"?
I’d smite you as soon as look at you if it weren’t for the fact we’re stuck together.
Not sure about this, but I feel like a word may be missing there?
Suddenly, Faust’s eyes went wide, and he began to head for darkened corner out of view of the front walkway, nudging the angel to follow.
Shouldn’t this be "for a darkened corner"?
You’d scarce give her the credit
Shouldn’t this be "scarcely" (adverb)?
The Sue announced that she accepted Sam’s offer to work with her before demanding he stop his drinking.
Shouldn’t this be "stopped"? (I don’t know the correct term, but I think the grammatical form is some sort of conditional or expectation. I may also have seen "demanding him to stop". )
So… since that wouldn’t be in my best interests to lie to you?
Again I’m not sure whether a word may be missing here?
HG
I read this! by
Neshomeh
on 2019-06-29 14:19:00 UTC
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A couple days ago now, so I'm afraid my thoughts on it have faded, but I enjoyed it. The meeting of one canon's worldview with another is always fun, and Zaphoriel studiously trying to figure things out with little to no help from Faust is good stuff. I think the concept of little men living inside the electronic devices was mentioned to me at some point, and it's still very funny. Also the blue (or purple) smoke being a special atmosphere that keeps them alive. Don't let the blue smoke out, seriously! {X D
I hope these characters get to the Discworld and meet some camera imps and such down the road. ^_^
As for crit, I DO recall that there's one instance where Zaphoriel is referred to as Zaph toward the end, which struck me as odd since it only happens the once and I don't think the characters are on nickname basis yet.
Also, I'm not sure I follow the internal logic of when Faust is amused at Zaphoriel's discomfort and happy to increase it, and when he feels sorry for the other guy. Is it supposed to be essentially based on whim/mood?
~Neshomeh