Reactions and review

*Gasp* What's this, a mission? by Iximaz and Aegis on 2019-06-25 01:41:00 UTC Reply

Zaphoriel and Faust get their first assignment as partners.

Into Supernatural.

This should be interesting.

Re: mission by doctorlit on 2019-07-08 17:47:00 UTC Reply

So I skipped the initial Zaph+Faust intro to avoid spoilers for Good Omens, and I was debating not reading this one too, but then I realized it was dumb to put off reading an entire spin-off that way, so that's why this took me so long.

I'm short on time, so very quickly:

Excellent find of a badfic to send a demon and angel into. I really enjoyed seeing both "species's" takes on some of the things happening in the fic, and the general characteristics of the Supernatural world. Also liked the witty interplay between the agents, and the humor derived from Zaph's naivety.

I assume Zaph's sword got replaced with an angelic sword from Supernatural canon?

Errors, might be repeats, no time to read HG's comment:

"'This must be the remote,' he said after a moment, tossing the box in his hand once and catching it deftly before tucking it into a jacket pocket before taking another look around the RC."

Just an awful lot simultaneously happening in this sentence, maybe split it up a bit?

"'Sam wouldn’t hear her out, and then she came back in the coma patient’s body to offered her help in tracking down Lilith and getting Sam his revenge.'"

Dat verb tense, yo.

—doctorlit really is sorry for the shortness, many weekend plans. Byeeeeee!
Still catching up by Hieronymus Graubart on 2019-07-04 12:23:00 UTC Reply

Then the stakes got so big that the driving arcs were about which character they were going to resurrect this season.
Wouldn’t you usually say "so high"?

I’d smite you as soon as look at you if it weren’t for the fact we’re stuck together.
Not sure about this, but I feel like a word may be missing there?

Suddenly, Faust’s eyes went wide, and he began to head for darkened corner out of view of the front walkway, nudging the angel to follow.
Shouldn’t this be "for a darkened corner"?

You’d scarce give her the credit
Shouldn’t this be "scarcely" (adverb)?

The Sue announced that she accepted Sam’s offer to work with her before demanding he stop his drinking.
Shouldn’t this be "stopped"? (I don’t know the correct term, but I think the grammatical form is some sort of conditional or expectation. I may also have seen "demanding him to stop". )

So… since that wouldn’t be in my best interests to lie to you?
Again I’m not sure whether a word may be missing here?

HG

Some of those are colloquialisms. by Neshomeh on 2019-07-04 18:30:00 UTC Reply
- "I'd [verb] [subject] as soon as look at [subject]" is a moderately common expression in English. There are some words dropped for pithiness; the full phrase here would probably be "I would smite you as soon [read: as quickly, as easily] as I would look at you."
  
  - "Scarcely" would be technically correct here, but "scarce" used in this way is an accepted informal use. It's more common in British English than American English, I think.
  
  - "stop" in this way is also an accepted informal use. Again, a word has been dropped: "demanding [that] he stop his drinking." (Isn't colloquial English fun?)
  
  - For the last one, I don't think there's a word missing, but I would replace "that" with "it."
  
  ~Neshomeh's two cents.

I read this! by Neshomeh on 2019-06-29 14:19:00 UTC Reply

A couple days ago now, so I'm afraid my thoughts on it have faded, but I enjoyed it. The meeting of one canon's worldview with another is always fun, and Zaphoriel studiously trying to figure things out with little to no help from Faust is good stuff. I think the concept of little men living inside the electronic devices was mentioned to me at some point, and it's still very funny. Also the blue (or purple) smoke being a special atmosphere that keeps them alive. Don't let the blue smoke out, seriously! {X D

I hope these characters get to the Discworld and meet some camera imps and such down the road. ^_^

As for crit, I DO recall that there's one instance where Zaphoriel is referred to as Zaph toward the end, which struck me as odd since it only happens the once and I don't think the characters are on nickname basis yet.

Also, I'm not sure I follow the internal logic of when Faust is amused at Zaphoriel's discomfort and happy to increase it, and when he feels sorry for the other guy. Is it supposed to be essentially based on whim/mood?

~Neshomeh
Reactions and review by Tomash on 2019-06-26 07:57:00 UTC Reply
- The bit with the man in the telephone was funny (and I now get what y'all were getting at in Rudi's)
  - Actually, that whole initial bit, especially with Faust needing to explain television, was good times
  - Including Zaphoriel's opinion of Times New Roman
  - and not wanting a custard cream
  - So apparently the consecrated ground thing works cross-universe. Ouch
  - “Don’t tempt me,” Zaphoriel muttered.
  
  “I mean, I’m a demon,” Faust pointed out cheerily. “It’s sort of what I do.” was a good line
  - Wrt Zaphoriel falling on top of Faust - five bucks says they'll get together within five more stories :P
  - The snark is strong here, especially with the bit about the dumpster
  - Well, it's nice to see the two getting some perspective on the Fall thing
  - "hollow bureaucracy ..." yowch. That was a good scene, and Faust has a point on both Heaven and Hell.
  - "making Sam Winchester from Alabama" is definitely a charge, even though, last I checked, a section of the fandom would rather think otherwise
  - From what little I know of Supernatural, I agree with Zaphoriel about how he's not sure anyone takes that show seriously
  - The thing with the footnote feels rather PPC
  - The bit with the wings was interesting, and gave me a good sense of the relationship these two have going
  - The bit about angels disappearing if they figure out what a good time is (and the stuff before it) was also quite funny
  - Interesting bit about the clothing colors not feeling right. It's a neat small detail
  - Somehow, I'm imagining a fight about to "breakout" as that old video game where you bounce the ball into bricks starting up, but somehow multiplayer
  - “You want to keep track of the list of reasons for murdering someone in our heads?” XD (well, mostly from the surrounding context, but still)
  
  Overall thoughts:
  This mission did a good job of showing off Zaphoriel and Faust's characters and the contrast between the two. It's got a whole bunch of funny lines and scenes, a lot of which just came from the two agents interacting. There's also a good balance between character interaction and snarking at the fic. The few more serious moments between the agents (and more serious philosophical points) were well done and added to the story without overwhelming it.
  
  Overall, nice mission and I'm looking forward to reading more!
  
  - Tomash

Thanks! by Aegis on 2019-06-26 21:20:00 UTC Reply

I really appreciate the reactions--it's good to know that Ix and me playing with the two characters like a couple of kids absorbed in action figures was as fun to read as it was to write.

RE the of them getting together inside of five stories... Well, we'll see. :P We have plans regarding that, and a vague idea of how it happens. When, however, is really anyone's guess. The two of them certainly don't see it happening in the span of five missions, anyway. I doubt it's even occurred to either of them, even if it might have to others.

And the perspective on the Fall is one I'm really hoping to explore further with Faust. He certainly takes the attitude that most of his work as a demon was "necessary," and the cosmic equivalent of being a "tax inspector," and genuinely resents being expelled from a place he thought of as home. All angels are family, after all (Broadly speaking. They all have the same Creator, anyway.) so from his perspective, he got disowned by his parent and kicked out because he "asked a couple of questions."

We'll see more of how he feels about that moving forward.

--Aegis