Subject: It was definitely a challenge trying to figure out what was happening.
Author:
Posted on: 2020-01-22 21:38:19 UTC
Could you point out where the trouble spots with the dialogue are? I took another look and couldn't tell for sure where I went too long without a dialogue tag.
For some reason it feels like I have to justify the fact that I've been writing these so quickly, so that's fun. Onto the promised content!
In which a short badfic with terrible execution produces a similarly short mission and half a dozen butterflies. Continuum is Miraculous Ladybug.
(I couldn't get to this earlier because deadlines)
Overall, this is a nice short mission that does a good job of showing off the issues in this fic. It still manages to have some nice character interactions, though it's hard to fit in a bunch of those into a short work like this.
... I don't tend to read many fics that abuse punctuation that badly. My eyes just glaze over.
I know about a hundred other people have said this already, but good work on characters T-posing to assert dominance over the canon. I also appreciated the use of a Reality Room to finish the mission; "then Liz stabbed them some more" is a really funny line, considering how short the mission (and the fic) were.
One thing I would nitpick about is the dialogue; a few times, I had trouble keeping track of who was speaking. A lot of that is probably just because it's a new spinoff with new characters,so I'm not used to how they talk yet. However, I would have liked to see Avery and Liz physically doing a little more while they're commenting on the fic.
Could you point out where the trouble spots with the dialogue are? I took another look and couldn't tell for sure where I went too long without a dialogue tag.
You, uh. You sure discovered a series of words inside that story, yep. Wow.
I didn't really comment on it in the earlier Miraculous Ladybug mission, but I like that pretty font you use to show how the adverse Akumas display their names. I love how their color schemes emulate the characters they're named for (I assume). Feels like somebody should draw some—but not me. Someone who can draw well and reasonable quickly.
I like your use of bad CGI graphics and treating the characters as game models as concrete ways of showing how the spelling and sentence structure were warping the World. I also enjoyed the hilariously simple way Avery tricked the Sues into walking through a portal.
—doctorlit has no typo list for this one
I wish I could have presented the entire thing. It was insane how unintelligible it was in places.
The Adverse Akumas color schemes' and patterns are a lot of fun to decide on. A few of the characters canonically have simple color schemes assigned to represent them, or have a couple very bold colors associated with them, which are mostly what I've used to far (though it doesn't help that about half of the minis are based on Adrien and the other half are based on/around Ladybug).
The CGI was also a lot of fun. I was thinking about how 3D models look like while they're still being made, hence the t-posing.
I like that the badfic is described like it's using bad CGI.
I really enjoyed the mission! The glitchiness is a fun take on bad SPaG, and the execution made me chuckle. A perfect mix of satisfying and humorous.