Subject: Tailgategate
Posted on: 2020-01-28 14:46:36 UTC

Tailgategate: British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is caught on a traffic camera driving less than one car length behind a little old lady in a Morris Mini Minor (known as tailgating in the UK, at least). The Liberal Democrats try to make this A Big Thing, and use it to indicate that Boris is A Threat To Our Safety. Then a photo emerges of former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg doing the same thing (back in 2014)... The Tailgategate scandal rocks the British Parliament as more and more MPs are accused of tailgating, and a string of high profile resignations follow.

Talegate: French President Emmanuel Macron undertakes a tour of the nation, reading stories to school children as part of his L'ecole, c'est moi education platform. When it emerges that Macron was actually in Andorra, engaged in secret negotiations with his co-prince the Bishop of Urgell, and had sent a professional impersonator out to read tales to the kiddies, the media goes wild. There's probably a riot or three before it dies down.

Watergategate: Conclusive evidence emerges that US Twitter personality and President Donald Trump had a string of "assignations" with women from the Russian embassy. Since the affairs took place in one of the apartments of the Watergate complex in DC, a totally clueless political editor unironically dubs it the "Watergate-gate" scandal. The Republican party completely ignores and/or praises it by turn, the Democratic party use it to argue that the real threat here is other Democrats, and Vladimir Putin is photographed with a secret smile on his face.


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